Long time friend is mad at me, what should I do here?

[RustleYourJimmies]

Im asking for friendship help more than seduction help since youre bunch of people who understand how women think

This girl is angry at a friend and I because we didnt invite her to a 4th of July BBQ. Shes a pretty close friend too. Ive known her 14 years. We didnt invite her because she was mad for a separate reason and we didnt want to bother her or bring any drama while we were hanging out.

She found out we were at the beach and got angry. We told her we didnt mean any harm and we didnt invite because we thought she was still angry/didnt want to annoy her.

She sent the following texts after we explained the situation to her and isnt talking to either of us. I find this extremely immature.

"Whatever dude the point is you didnt invite"

and

"Whatever dont invite me to sht anymore cause that sht you guys did there hurt. I was at home alone not doing sht"

What should I do here? I tried calling her a couple days ago with no luck. I also invited her to a couple places in the last few days. She says shes "busy" or just doesnt respond or hangs out with other friends. Im not going to contact her for a while because I dont want to seem desperate for her forgiveness and I dont want to be annoying.

Dont tell me to forget about her and move on, shes been a friend for way too long so this is pretty important to me.

What would you do in this situation?

 

[backseatjuan]

Don't invite her to the next big thing and don't contact her. When she calls or textes you act like nothing happened. Let her ask about hanging out with you.

 

[seethehoop]

Don't contact her at all. You've already told her the reason so if she is not going to accept it justleave her be. If you give in to her and chase her she will keep doing this s***. Shell then start acting up more often jus for the drama. So I repeat, do not contact her. She will come round and realise you won't take her s*** and have more respect for you.

 

[cstrife32]

I'm gonna agree with the other guys in this thread. She's just being a woman right now. In her head, she thinks she did nothing wrong. (If this is the girl who was talking **** behind your back) That's women logic for you. DO NOT CONTACT HER. Let her come to you, she will come around. If not, oh well.

 

[seethehoop]

Another thing to note is that if she was a bloke would you care if she acted like this, I know I would just think they were being a d*ck and would just leave them to it. TBH I think you do have feelings for her more than freindship otherwise I don't think you would be even asking the question.

If you want more insight we could do with knowing why she was angry in the first instance before you failed to invite her out. Depending on this, this may affect her "right" to be angry about not being invited.

 

[Iceberg]

I
Dont tell me to forget about her and move on, shes been a friend for way too long so this is pretty important to me.

What would you do in this situation?

I'd forget about her and move on. Sorry if i'm not "allowed" to tell you that.

Okay, maybe not HER. But I'd forget about IT. As in the whole stupid nonsense argument. Let her go blow off some steam. Get in touch in a month or so after she's less whiny about it.

This actually sounds like the stupid smalltown arguments that my friends in my hometown (who never moved out of my hometown) have with each other all the time. I see them argue on Facebook all the time and it's like "Christ, don't you people have bigger things to worry about?" and then I remember...oh right, they actually don't have bigger things to worry about.

Anyway, she's a woman, not a guy. So you can't talk it out over a couple beers. You can't fight it out with your fists. You just gotta let her cool off. The whole thing sounds ridiculous. You'll be fine and so will your friendship.

 

[SoSuave666]

This is why you don't become friends with women. No matter what the relationship is, they ALWAYS want drama. They will create it out of nothing and ensure that it is always your fault. You can't ask her to calm down, she'll just flip. You can't say it was your fault, she'll just flip. You can't invite her to hang out, she'll just flip. All you can do is leave her be and wait for her to come back.

 

[JohnChops]

This is why you don't become friends with women. No matter what the relationship is, they ALWAYS want drama. They will create it out of nothing and ensure that it is always your fault. You can't ask her to calm down, she'll just flip. You can't say it was your fault, she'll just flip. You can't invite her to hang out, she'll just flip. All you can do is leave her be and wait for her to come back.

This ..... so true, there ****ing all about the drama.

Side note - hm thanks IceBerg you kinda helped me out with my problem

 

[RustleYourJimmies]

Another thing to note is that if she was a bloke would you care if she acted like this, I know I would just think they were being a d*ck and would just leave them to it. TBH I think you do have feelings for her more than freindship otherwise I don't think you would be even asking the question.

If you want more insight we could do with knowing why she was angry in the first instance before you failed to invite her out. Depending on this, this may affect her "right" to be angry about not being invited.

Ready for this? She was mad because my buddy didnt tip when we went out to a restaurant. Thats literally it and theres no other story or details.

Us not inviting her to our event doubled her anger though. This was like a week ago, I'm sure shes not mad anymore, shes just not contacting US and were not contacting her.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Ready for this? She was mad because my buddy didnt tip when we went out to a restaurant. Thats literally it and theres no other story or details.

Sounds like a keeper, this one.

Alright fine. Nobody's friends are perfect. But as the other guys have said, she's a female. You can't work your way through this. Just gotta back off and let her come around. She's a friend, not a female prospect. So it's not like there's a time limit that you wanna have her by. You can wait. She can wait.

 

[seethehoop]

Ready for this? She was mad because my buddy didnt tip when we went out to a restaurant. Thats literally it and theres no other story or details.

Us not inviting her to our event doubled her anger though. This was like a week ago, I'm sure shes not mad anymore, shes just not contacting US and were not contacting her.

In that case you did right by not inviting her out. By doing this you demonstrated that this behaviour is not acceptable. she prob knows this subconsciously and has therefore tried to make more of an issue out of you not inviting her so she can feel justified and not have to accept the reality which is she is a stuck up lil brat. So you now do nothing. Leave her be. do not tolerate this behaviour from her. Period.