Long-time DJ in need of LTR Advice

[WC2]

As some of you have known, I've been around the forums for quite awhile.

I had my AFC stint in college, and literally transformed my whole outlook on women and life due to SoSuave. I went from getting zero tail, to being able manage women and relationships well enough to give members on this forum advice.

With that said, since my career has begun, I've been in somewhat of a hiatus on here.

Have I lost my edge? I don't think so. But I'm pretty sure that I've lost some sense of red flags and warnings when it comes to LTRs.

So now, I'm reversing my role and coming to you all with advice.

I've been spinning plates for the past 6 years, consistently having 4-5 women available at all times. But the truth of it is.. it got tedious! Sh!t man, I work 10 hour days.. the last thing I want to do is look for new women on a constant basis.

I wasn't really trying to settle down; it just happened. 3 of the plates asked for relationships, and I turned them down. 1 is cool with being FBs.. and the last (which is probably the hottest), popped the question on me a few months ago.

I responded in kind, telling her I wouldn't mind taking it slow. I basically acted like she was still a plate, with the downside of having my life broadcasted on social media by her.

She's an HB 9, crazy in bed, very down to earth, and her own woman. She doesn't need to see me more than 2-3 times a week, which is what I want.

But here are the red-flags

1. She pulled the L Bomb extremely quickly. I didn't give it to her back until a month later or so. I'm 28, and I'm probably getting near marriage; saying you love someone is not out of the realm of sanity for me.

2. She began planning trips for us almost immediately. To see her parents, to goto Miami, etc.

3. She STILL has a bunch of orbiters. She makes it apparent over social media that we're a couple, but I do on occasion see the 'what's up girl!' text from other guys coming to her phone. Most of the time she just ignores it and goes back to business. Only one situation is bothersome.. some dude who apparently her friend told me was 'the one who got away' who refuses to have a relationship with her. I have seen them corresponding here and there, but not enough for me to bring anything up. I'm not that type of guy.. I don't get jealous, because I know my value is high enough to fend off any other competition.

4. She takes anti-depressants and Lithium. Literally just found this out. Probably why I've come back from the dead to this forum. She's shown a few symptoms of mood swings, but nothing crazy. For the most part, our fights end in us saying, 'lets forget about it' and continuing whatever we were doing before. However--just form dating a BPD, it's always in the back of my mind that a chick could be borderline OR bi-polar and seem normal at first.

5. We've begun clashing about rules. I've always worn the pants in relationships. She tried to pull the 'let's limit ourselves to seeing eachother once a week' BS the other night.. I told her that I'm going to see her when it's practical. She protested, but once I told her to take it or leave it, she gave in and agreed that we don't necessarily have to put a limit on it.

6. I caught a brief text from a friend (I don't look at her phone, but I do notice when texts come in), which said "Do you feel bad about using WC2 to comfort you?"

That is when red alarms went off for me. I guess it could have been over some even that took place, but it also could have been in a way like she's not completely committed and using me as a blanket.

After all these years, I really can't tell. Probably because I've only been with her for 3 months. Plus, I dated a BPD in college for 4 years who was a master manipulator. So naturally I'm paranoid.

Either way, I'm very happy with this chick. She's probably the first girl in awhile that sees eye to eye with me and who connects with me sexually and mentally.

I'm 28.. I'm probably looking to move into something more serious down the road. Maybe you guys can give me some advice on how to determine if these red flags are truly red flags, or just paranoia.

For now.. I'm keeping my DJ goggles on. Keeping my value, not letting her get away with anything, framing the situation, and f*cking the living sh!t out of her and showing her the best time of her life. Any time she tries to test me, I stamp it out.

 

[speed dawg]

My thoughts below, take them or leave them. Tough love, but hey, it is what it is. There are an awful lot of qualifiers in your post. So let's get some truth out there:

I wasn't really trying to settle down; it just happened.............................I'm 28.. I'm probably looking to move into something more serious down the road.

Yes, you are. If you want to grow, step back and let's get down to the facts. No sense in denying this. I'm not saying it's a bad thing - but I caution you that when you take on this mindset, it is easily sensed by women.

with the downside of having my life broadcasted on social media by her.

This is one big red flag IMO. People say, "Oh, some people need affirmation from others". I say f*ck that. That's like saying, "Oh, my hobby is shopping". Well no sh*t, everyone would love shopping if they had a bunch of money. The craving for attention of others is mind-boggling to me. Yeah, it feels good to have your ego stroked once in a while....but it's the constant behavior that is the red flag.

She's an HB 9, crazy in bed, very down to earth, and her own woman.....................Either way, I'm very happy with this chick. She's probably the first girl in awhile that sees eye to eye with me and who connects with me sexually and mentally.

Personally, if you're wanting an LTR, I think you are focusing on the wrong things. Or being blinded by them, one way or the other.

But here are the red-flags

There's more?

3. She STILL has a bunch of orbiters.

Could be immaturity, maybe it's not. Big red flag to me if you want to get serious. But honestly, you've been with this chick 3 months, you aren't serious.

4. She takes anti-depressants and Lithium.

Deal breaker for me. At the very minimum, she's unstable and unwilling to confront the real issues.

'let's limit ourselves to seeing eachother once a week' BS the other night.. I told her that I'm going to see her when it's practical. She protested, but once I told her to take it or leave it, she gave in and agreed that we don't necessarily have to put a limit on it.

This seems like low IL.

6. I caught a brief text from a friend (I don't look at her phone, but I do notice when texts come in), which said "Do you feel bad about using WC2 to comfort you?"

I don't really know about this, could be false alarm, but definitely not a good sign.

That is when red alarms went off for me......So naturally I'm paranoid.

Listen to your gut. It never lies. If something seems off, it probably is.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Lithium is serious sh!t. You don't get on it without a good reason. I am guessing she has a suicide attempt in her past. If she wants to have kids, she will have to get off of it first, which is a slow process.

 

[LiveFreeX]

But here are the red-flags

She's an HB 9, crazy in bed, very down to earth, and her own woman. She doesn't need to see me more than 2-3 times a week, which is what I want.

2. She began planning trips for us almost immediately. To see her parents, to goto Miami, etc.

3. She STILL has a bunch of orbiters. She makes it apparent over social media that we're a couple, but I do on occasion see the 'what's up girl!' text from other guys coming to her phone. Most of the time she just ignores it and goes back to business. Only one situation is bothersome.. some dude who apparently her friend told me was 'the one who got away' who refuses to have a relationship with her. I have seen them corresponding here and there, but not enough for me to bring anything up. I'm not that type of guy.. I don't get jealous, because I know my value is high enough to fend off any other competition.

4. She takes anti-depressants and Lithium. Literally just found this out. Probably why I've come back from the dead to this forum. She's shown a few symptoms of mood swings, but nothing crazy. For the most part, our fights end in us saying, 'lets forget about it' and continuing whatever we were doing before. However--just form dating a BPD, it's always in the back of my mind that a chick could be borderline OR bi-polar and seem normal at first.

5. We've begun clashing about rules. I've always worn the pants in relationships. She tried to pull the 'let's limit ourselves to seeing eachother once a week' BS the other night.. I told her that I'm going to see her when it's practical. She protested, but once I told her to take it or leave it, she gave in and agreed that we don't necessarily have to put a limit on it.

That is when red alarms went off for me. I guess it could have been over some even that took place, but it also could have been in a way like she's not completely committed and using me as a blanket.

After all these years, I really can't tell. Probably because I've only been with her for 3 months.

Red flags in bold.
I'm just curious, are you actively trying to ruin your life? Sounds to me like this girl is a train-wreck and if your perfect girl is an accident waiting to happen, what does that say about you? If you have a baby with this woman, you are fvked for the rest of your life.

I've been married for a couple years now, let me tell you how a normal woman acts:

After 4 years, there are no sh1t tests, never have been and likely never will be.

She never protests except when I try and get her to go out to a night club, talk to a stranger or wear sexy clothes in public, those are things she hates doing.

She sits or stands by herself near me in a nightclub and does not talk to anyone but me or sometimes the bartender (if its a woman), she also refuses alcohol.

There are no orbiters, she doesn't like speaking with men who are not me.

When I met her, she had trouble getting her head around dating a foreigner (non yellow person) and it took her a couple weeks to even kiss me. She had never shown affection to anyone other than her parents and brother.

The sex was not crazy, it was deadfish because she was still a virgin.

She follows me around like a puppy, cooks for me, takes care of me when I'm sick. The only thing she requires to be happy is to be able to sit and watch japanese cartoons on her phone in a corner, failing that she will play a game or read a novel. I have to pressure her to go out with her friends, if not, she would stay home everyday in her 'corner'.

She reminds me of my mother so much so that sometimes she even makes the same facial expressions. I have almost the same relationship with her as I do my mother (like a best friend). My mother is white, she's Chinese, beyond that the similarities are uncanny.

Yes these girls do exist and they make the best and maybe a little boring wives. For me I want a boring, no surprises, relationship.

Her dreams consist of: Having enough food to eat and having a baby.

I knew I was going to marry her in the first 30 seconds of meeting her.

Compare the two.

 

[G_Govan]

She's an HB 9, crazy in bed, very down to earth, and her own woman.

I'd say this is unicorn territory, that is, if she's truly a 9.

Honestly, nothing about her truly stands out other than the pill popping, which is a HUGE red flag. I know this from personal experience.

She lives the life of a typical attractive, "independent" woman. Orbiters out the yin yang, carousel rider and depending on age is looking for a "provider." However, trying to lock down a "9" under such circumstances seems like a very bad idea.

You mentioned a guy who was the "one that got away," well it was probably a smart move on his part. Most men are too weak to walk away from such a woman.

You'd be surprised at how much influence your penis has over your perception. I had a woman tell me she loved me within the first two weeks. We ended up splitting a month later...

Do what most women do to most men, string her along until she bails. Although guys don't typically bail, we just get dumped.

 

[G_Govan]

But here are the red-flags


Red flags in bold.
I'm just curious, are you actively trying to ruin your life? Sounds to me like this girl is a train-wreck and if your perfect girl is an accident waiting to happen, what does that say about you? If you have a baby with this woman, you are fvked for the rest of your life.

I've been married for a couple years now, let me tell you how a normal woman acts:

After 4 years, there are no sh1t tests, never have been and likely never will be.

She never protests except when I try and get her to go out to a night club, talk to a stranger or wear sexy clothes in public, those are things she hates doing.

She sits or stands by herself near me in a nightclub and does not talk to anyone but me or sometimes the bartender (if its a woman), she also refuses alcohol.

There are no orbiters, she doesn't like speaking with men who are not me.

When I met her, she had trouble getting her head around dating a foreigner (non yellow person) and it took her a couple weeks to even kiss me. She had never shown affection to anyone other than her parents and brother.

The sex was not crazy, it was deadfish because she was still a virgin.

She follows me around like a puppy, cooks for me, takes care of me when I'm sick. The only thing she requires to be happy is to be able to sit and watch japanese cartoons on her phone in a corner, failing that she will play a game or read a novel. I have to pressure her to go out with her friends, if not, she would stay home everyday in her 'corner'.

She reminds me of my mother so much so that sometimes she even makes the same facial expressions. I have almost the same relationship with her as I do my mother (like a best friend). My mother is white, she's Chinese, beyond that the similarities are uncanny.

Yes these girls do exist and they make the best and maybe a little boring wives. For me I want a boring, no surprises, relationship.

Her dreams consist of: Having enough food to eat and having a baby.

I knew I was going to marry her in the first 30 seconds of meeting her.

Compare the two.

Be honest though LiveFreeX, you're not going to find this in the U.S. A woman you actually want to bang who not only behaves as described but is a virgin?

They aren't exactly falling out of trees here. Pretty women are virgins until their early teens and then they take a trip to the amusement park and don't leave until they literally fall off a ride. I don't ever expect to find someone like this, I'd probably laugh hysterically if I did in disbelief.

 

[LiveFreeX]

No I wouldn't expect a girl like that from the USA for another 10 to 15 years.
You can have these kinds of women but you have to travel outside to get them, and they sort of require active searching. You can always bring them home though, and I've heard loads of horror stories about this.

The only problem with each of those stories is that the guy who takes the woman home has virtually no red pill knowledge and is usually a complete retard in terms of game. The types of women that 'change their colours' were usually that colour to begin with. I have a friend who is taking his wife home and I told him from the start that she was a gold digging ho, now she's planning his whole life out and he's frequently 'scared to cross her', takes all his calls in secret and whines that she is too demanding. Its really fukin hard taking these girls home if they come from a poor family, usually the ones crossing the border are rich princesses.... anyway sorry op, didn't mean to derail your thread.

Op I would say that she sounds like the typical American woman in a typical American relationship. God help you.

 

[sodbuster]

Lithium scares the **** out of me....depression or manic/depressive?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear WC2,
Lithium?....Fer Chris'sake!...She sounds a great Long Term F'Buddy,but never think of going exclusive with her...Her 2-3 times a week sounds perfection to me...Keep those other Plates spinning Mate!

 

[NEPA]

A family member of mine had to take lithium after going AWOL and walking barefoot across the country. Just to give you an idea.

 

[WC2]

Thanks for the advice gents.

I don't know much about Lithium, so I'm glad to see that you guys can fill me in.

I've come to the conclusion I'm dealing with quite the cluster b here. I haven't really copped major feelings yet, as I have begun reactivating my 3 other plates today.

Haven't really said much to her.. Just going to do my thing and keep seeing women im general. She can just be another plate. The second this wh0re throws a temper tantrum about not being serious, I'm just going to throw her on ignore... Until she decides she wants to ride WC2 again for a night

How has everyones experience been being FBs with cluster bs with whom you have no to little feelings for? Should I be worried about having my liver chopped out or something?

 

[hera]

Love the mental health shaming.

 

[LiveFreeX]

My Cluster B threw all of my stuff out of a 10th floor apt or something over a cartoon. Then later threw a huge tantrum in a motel room, smashing things and tried to jump infront of a car on the way to her mom's house. 5 years on she still sends me the odd email trying to get me to confess to some imaginary PUA rape fantasy after I left her ass that night and got on a flight for home.

So yeah, they can fvck up your life something awful. Don't date the mentally ill.

 

[Zunder]

6. I caught a brief text from a friend (I don't look at her phone, but I do notice when texts come in), which said "Do you feel bad about using WC2 to comfort you?"

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Going to join the lithium gang b*ng crowd.

LTR with a girl on lithium? No way. That's possibly the biggest red flag you can get. It's so big a flag that you need to watch your back just having her as a plate.

It's a "big gun" medication that is sometimes used when other treatments are not effective. It's used for major depression, schizophrenia, bipolar and it decreases the risk of suicide.

But then again, the crazies are the hot ones aren't they?

-Augustus-

 

[LiveFreeX]

But then again, the crazies are the hot ones aren't they?

I believe we've been conditioned to think this way. My wife is much nicer and has an overall better character than any of my previous gfs... yet my previous Asian gf was HOT as fvk and absolutely bat sh1t crazy. Once at dinner, her AND her father spoon fed me the meal while her mother sat in another small room in a corner. It was really bizzare, I wasn't allowed to use my own utensils to eat with.... W T F.

 

[Scaramouche]

Live Free,
Last year I travelled in N.W.China,visited a remote Bhuddist Monastary at Xia He(Spelling) on the Tibetan High Plateau...There I saw a Mother and Aunt feeding with the Son a Circ 11 years old Red Robed Novice ...He ate with a spoon and bowl...they lapped their food like dogs out of bowls cat his feet...Strange Huh?

 

[Ambition Now]

Lithium + anti-depressants = Bipolar disorder. My father has it. Very serious ****. He was once needed to be forced into a psychiatric hospital for 10 days.

Lithium is a mood stabilizer and is only used to treat serious and uncurable mental health conditions.

In 3 months you probably haven't had the time to witness any suicidal or maniac episode. If you want to keep her, be prepared and inform yourself as much as you can. Hard stuff to deal with.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Live Free,
Last year I travelled in N.W.China,visited a remote Bhuddist Monastary at Xia He(Spelling) on the Tibetan High Plateau...There I saw a Mother and Aunt feeding with the Son a Circ 11 years old Red Robed Novice ...He ate with a spoon and bowl...they lapped their food like dogs out of bowls cat his feet...Strange Huh?

That sounds like a wicked trip but yeah, the Chinese aren't exactly known for their eating etiquette. If you want to see a funny video, goto youtube and enter: Chinese guy eats so loud.

 

[Slickster]

WC2,

I noticed the mention of marriage in your post. This girl is not right for you. (Notice I didn't say "the right one")

If she were, you wouldn't be questioning anything. When you meet a chick who is right for you it just feels right and there are few, if any doubts.

One thing that sticks out for me is when you mention "the one that got away". A guy from her past who refused a relationship with her. She's a HB9 and some dude is turning her down? WTF? What does that tell you about the rest of her?

Steer clear buddy.

P.S. Glad to see you are back. Don't let a job or relationship let you go soft. Even when you have this DJ stuff dialled it's so easy to slip up because as you say you have other things going on in life. The guys here are good for keeping you on track. Good luck.