Long-term HS relationship

[DJbootcamper]

Before I begin my initial question, I'd like to say a few things.

After reading the DJBC and other multiple posts from the site, i realized the whole "Jerk vs. Nice Guy" thing is true, among other things.

The first maybe...5 months I went out with my girlfriend, I treated her like A QUEEN. I taxi'd her everywhere (it was sophomore year, i was the only one who could drive), I bought her everything (roses...save ur money, they dont do anything), and she basically walked all over me. Every night her best friends would say "M***, why are you still going out with her? You could have soooo much better, you're so nice to her" **nice guy alert**, after about 6 months she got out of her mood, and realized what a catch I am. Unfortunately, I have this grudge deep down inside on her for being so mean to be before, that I guess I stopped treating her like a queen every since (no more flowers, no more taxi'ing), and I keep her with this thing in the back of her head that I could dump her anytime...this in-tern makes her want to merry me (basically what everything says).

But anyway, in September it will be 2 years together. Thats all sophomore year, all junior year, and personally I don't think I want to be in a relationship all my senior year. I've been debating breaking up, or going on a break, but I just dont do it. My reasons for not breaking up are all the basics:
"What if I regret it the next day?"
"What if I can't find anyone better?"
"What if SHE finds someone better?"
and of course..."What if I can't get any *****?" (which I realized, being a DJ or Alpha-male is not about 'getting *****', so I've kind of got that complaint out of my mind).

I guess you can say I've been "comfortable" for a while now. I'm so used to seeing her....that its just normal. But I mean, almost every night I hang out with another girl (behind her back...I dont cheat though!), and sometimes it's like I dont wanna be at the same place as her, so I can socialize better with people. The more attractive girls I become friends with, they just raise my self-esteem to make me think that i WILL be successful if I break up with my girlfriend.

One thing I think i WILL have the balls to do soon though, is go on a break....for like a month or so, decent one. I think it would give me the opportunity to see whats out there, find myself,
Oh ya, for the record, she is my first "real" girlfriend, so who knows, maybe I'm sticking around solely for that reason.

Anyway, if you guys have been in my shoes before, what has happend after you ended it? One of my good lady friends has been in 2 long-term relationships in a row, and now shes single, and she keeps telling me how amazing it is (maybe she just wants my n*ts...).

I know in the end though, despite what my friend says, despite with you DJ's say, that it all comes down to me. I think tonight I'm gunna make a "Pluses and minuses of breaking up" list, and see what side comes out strongest.

Eh sorry for the length, I just had to get all this out of me. Feel free to offer advice or ask any questions you wanna know in order to help more me more.

 

[Brian20o2]

Originally posted by DJbootcamper
"What if I regret it the next day?"
"What if I can't find anyone better?"
"What if SHE finds someone better?"
and of course..."What if I can't get any *****?" (which I realized, being a DJ or Alpha-male is not about 'getting *****', so I've kind of got that complaint out of my mind).

One thing I think i WILL have the balls to do soon though, is go on a break....for like a month or so, decent one.

Oh ya, for the record, she is my first "real" girlfriend, so who knows, maybe I'm sticking around solely for that reason.

What if, What if, What if. Ya know, sounds ta me like you think too much about the bad. Think about the good, youll have more time, meet new ppl, etc. If you think about anything is this girl making you happy, honestly ask urself this. my guess is no, Why else would you be here?

taking a break, sounds to me like you need it.

And dont hang on to one just because shes ur first "real" gf. Who cares?!?! Theres always a better one out there! OPEN YOUR EYES

i'm done

 

[NYC Dude]

I was debating the same thing when I broke up with my last girlfriend. Though we hadn't been dating for as long as you have, I still wondered whether I should break up with her or not. The thing you have to realize though, is whether or not YOU will be better off after breaking up with her. You might not get pvssy the next day, the next week, or the next month, but if your current relationship is making you unhappy do not continue with it. Heck, you can be in my situation and a week after breaking up with your girlfriend have another girl invite you over to her house for a private party.

 

[Inquire]

here's some advice. and maybe it wil help.

tell her that u need to take a step back.

wayyyy back!

and it dont matter what she says, just say that "i need some time to seek other oppurtunities" and she will do the same. it might suck sometimes but everythang has it ups and downs.

 

[MrS]

And dont hang on to one just because shes ur first "real" gf. Who cares?!?!

and she keeps telling me how amazing it is (maybe she just wants my n*ts...).

they just raise my self-esteem to make me think that i WILL be successful if I break up with my girlfriend.

I think you answered most of your questions
But yeah, one of the mose improtant things in life is to be able to make new moves, move on, make changes, otherwise after a while you're just in limbo, and it's a waste of time. In ANY aspect, be it work, relationships, gaming, sports, whatever. Otherwise, you'll regret it and just feel worse.

That's a bit general, but it stands here, maybe, you'd have not done anything with anyone else all through HS. Bit boring to look back on, or is now, as you're picturing it, eh?

And NYC Dude's post has the wisdom
If you're unhappy, just move on, you won't be scarred for life neither will she.

Hope this helps a bit mate, good luck to you.

 

[gravstar]

I was in the exact same position as you just today. I had been going out with my girl for 6 months.
I finally opened my eyes and realised that I was not having fun. Stuff got so routine and I felt like I was on a figure 8 racing track, just same old, same old.

So I broke it off and I feel like my balls have just been released from a long term jail sentence. Trust me, you are not happy if you start thinking about this stuff, if you were completely happy this wouldn't even pop into your head.

 

[DJbootcamper]

Thanks a lot guys!