Long post but I need help, 1st bar hookup!!

[apprenticedj]

Brief background on me: Growing up I was always shy with women but not entirely unsuccessful. I tended to be a AFC when it comes to female emotional traits: overthinking, unsure etc. I was in a serious relationship from age 21 until my divorce (just finalized) at age 28 so I never really participated in the bar scene. I did watch with delight as my friends had great success and also crashed and burned many many times lol. I'VE NEVER HAD A SINGLE BAR HOOKUP, total newb at age 28. But now I'm back on the scene and I don't want to be an AFC at all.

That brings us current and now let's tackle the issue:

On Saturday night I went to a bar to watch the Mayweather fight. I saw this attractive girl (overall HB 6 but her ass was HB 10!). I knew instantly I wanted to hit her up but she was with her dad and his buddies, not a friendly crowd to say the least. They left and she stayed behind so I approached outside as she was having a cigarette. We started chatting, moved to a table and talked for a while. I was aiming low at this point, just trying to get her number and see what happens. The conversation was going great, she was cracking up, so I asked for her number and she gave it to me. I called her phone, I let it ring three times and for some reason I decided that was enough so I hung up. Things is: I never actually saw her phone light up which I could clearly see in her purse. I was drunk at this point and I didn't mention it. The night continued on and my buddies pulled me aside and told me I had it locked (they're more experienced than I am with chicks). She and I talked a little longer, she's still laughing, everythings going great and then she asked if I would give her a ride home. I obliged and we ended up going inside and hooking up. I was shocked that I made it happen!!! I hung out there for a few hours because she took my clothes and latched onto me in bed so I couldn't exactly break free. Later I took her back to her car, we both said I'll call you and parted ways. I was driving home when I remembered the phone thing. I started to panic, what if I dialed the wrong number in my drunken state and I didn't actually have her number? Now admittedly I'm a freak overthinker so I've been obsessing about this. I decided to text her Monday and I STILL haven't heard anything. So in my novice, worried mind I figure one of the following things happened:

1. I put the number in wrong and I dont have it now. She never received the text and she cannot respond.
2. She got the text but she hasn't responded for other reasons.
3. She intentionally gave me a wrong number because she wasn't interested.

Now option 3 seems unlikely to me. She did end up letting me bang her that night so she probably didn't hate me. Unless she changed her mind at some point and forgot to give me the right number. I know this is MAJOR AFC **** but I would love to bang her a dozen more times because that ass was amazing!!! What do you guys think? Give me the straight truth, I have so much to learn.

 

[pdx1138]

Learn to not care how it turns out.

You had fun with her, maybe she will get back to you, maybe not.

Now go hit up another one in the meantime. Stop thinking like she's
the last vagine left in the world.

 

[the_stig]

You could attempt to add her on Facebook if you can find her. If you goofed the numbers up she'll be thrilled to hear from you. If she wasn't that interested or had buyers remorse, then it doesn't matter either way.

 

[NewToTheGame]

I'm seeing a girl now that accidentally messed up her number when she put it into my phone. It was pretty easy to tell she was telling the truth about that because of how she acted the next time I saw her. (Flustered, embarrassed, apologetic). Banged her a few times since then.

Thing is, there's nothing you can do now. If you put the number in wrong, you are going to have to wait to bump into her again. If you put it in right...well, you already texted her. You could wait a week or so and text her again.

What you should really do though, speaking from experience, is use this as a learning experience for yourself. Girls will drop off the face of the earth for a thousand different reasons. It is important to learn not to care or become obsessive when this happens. This is critical if you want to gain some success in the bar scene, while avoiding driving yourself crazy in the process.

In your mind, you should try thinking things like:

"If I see her again, cool...if not, cool"
"Would be nice to bang her again...but whatever"
"I bet I can have more (and better!) experiences like that if I keep putting myself out there!"

Welcome to the single life, and you did really well the other night! Pat yourself on the back and do your best not to over-think this one.

 

[apprenticedj]

I need to celebrate success more and stop overanalyzing every damn thing. It was fun, I'd like to have more fun with her but it's not a make or break if I don't. Thanks for the advice!

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I'm seeing a girl now that accidentally messed up her number when she put it into my phone. It was pretty easy to tell she was telling the truth about that because of how she acted the next time I saw her. (Flustered, embarrassed, apologetic). Banged her a few times since then.

Thing is, there's nothing you can do now. If you put the number in wrong, you are going to have to wait to bump into her again. If you put it in right...well, you already texted her. You could wait a week or so and text her again.

What you should really do though, speaking from experience, is use this as a learning experience for yourself. Girls will drop off the face of the earth for a thousand different reasons. It is important to learn not to care or become obsessive when this happens. This is critical if you want to gain some success in the bar scene, while avoiding driving yourself crazy in the process.

In your mind, you should try thinking things like:

"If I see her again, cool...if not, cool"
"Would be nice to bang her again...but whatever"
"I bet I can have more (and better!) experiences like that if I keep putting myself out there!"

Welcome to the single life, and you did really well the other night! Pat yourself on the back and do your best not to over-think this one.

Boom! Here it is.

Nothing else you can do here. Either way ball's in her court.

You know the greatest thing? Is having a bunch of chicks out there that you know would love to hear from you. When you're living in the scarcity mentality and you finally get one, all of your focus is on her, they can sense the desperation. The worst thing you can do is be the guy that slowly but surely turns off every girl you're dating/fvcking. Be the guy that knows he has girls he can text at anytime and they would respond with a "Hey!! How are you??"

It's a good feeling. It's like having a bunch of money invested earning interest. Sure, spend the interest....but don't get reckless, leave that original investment alone

 

[apprenticedj]

You guys are spot on my friend. There are many, many others out there and I'm not going to waste any more time overanalyzing this one. We had fun and I hope to see her again for more fun but no big deal. I'm going out tonight and I'm GOING to get a few more plates spinning for sure. Thanks again fellas, breaking the AFC thought process is a journey for sure.

 

[Turuwal]

Have had this or similar happen a few times.

One bar hookup, the girl went as far as "losing" her phone just as we were leaving to go back to my place. In the morning she "couldn't remember" her own number. It was almost like she had planned it from the start!

Another hookup, I did a quick extraction back to my tent at a festival and the girl was hot all night then cold in the morning.

Both hookups were alike in how fast they went down, with less than 30 minutes of conversation before extraction and no LMR, and in how hot and dirty the sex was. If you fcuk that good and hard in a relationship the girl will always get attached. Therefore, I consider it likely that both girls had boyfriends and were after *only sex* with no possibility of attachment to avoid getting caught.

OTOH I have converted some of these super fast hookups into FBs. Be prepared for a ridiculous amount of LMR the second time as the girl tries to show that she's not that easy and is worthy of getting a relationship from you.

...

Or she just made a mistake with her number ;-)