So i'm on vacation, therefore me and a girl i'm talking to can't see/hangout with eachother. So we end up talking for at least 2 hours everyday on the phone. I heard it wasn't good to talk on the phone for too long, but in this situation is it ok? Our conversations aren't that boring and we just talk about our days and such.
Long Phone Conversations?
- Thread starter ANON1
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I'm Charming
Don Juan
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I watched a film last night. It was a good film, called the Road To Perdition, it was about this badass gangster dude who loses most of his family and goes out on a mission to avenge their lives by killing his former boss.
It was a good film, did I mention that? I enjoyed it.
Thing is, I've just looked up the dictionary and it classes "Perdition" as "The loss of the soul/eternal damnation", thats quite powerful isnt it? The road to losing ones soul, well, you know what? You're on that road.
The thing about this gangster though was that he never gave people the time of day, he never stood hanging around for two hours on the phone, he was a man of action and he knew that people would accept him by what he did rather than what he said.
I would say the film is innaccurate, the gangster never lost his soul but his ability to empathise with humanity, by reading these silly posts I've lost my will to empathise with humanity too, you're soulless, this post is worthless, and you are pointless.
It was a good film.
It was a good film, did I mention that? I enjoyed it.
Thing is, I've just looked up the dictionary and it classes "Perdition" as "The loss of the soul/eternal damnation", thats quite powerful isnt it? The road to losing ones soul, well, you know what? You're on that road.
The thing about this gangster though was that he never gave people the time of day, he never stood hanging around for two hours on the phone, he was a man of action and he knew that people would accept him by what he did rather than what he said.
I would say the film is innaccurate, the gangster never lost his soul but his ability to empathise with humanity, by reading these silly posts I've lost my will to empathise with humanity too, you're soulless, this post is worthless, and you are pointless.
It was a good film.
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Zaraza
Senior Don Juan
if she enjoyed the talk and if you enjoyed the talk... why not? just dont do it everynight.. you WILL run outa things to talk about. Now and then i thnk its ok, she likes your company and having you on the phone is like a drug for her probably. Look at it this way... you talk to her for an hour or so and then only 10 mintues or not even talk to her the next day... shes gonna remember that long talk and want to talk to you more. That is just my opinion.
Good luck bud
Good luck bud
Yea one night just talk to her for like 10 mins. or not at all. Be like "Hey I gotta go now, I'll call you later!"Zaraza said:
and then you'll be on her mind for the next few days. She'll be wondering about what your doing. You have to have some mystery to your life and be unpredicatble.
Give her the gift of missing you!
You've got the power right now so thats good.
NO IT IS NOT OK, STOP RIGHT NOW. IM SERIOUS, DROP THE PHONE AND DONT TALK TO HER FOR ATLEAST 4 DAYS. Maybe im exagerating but talking to them over the phone or msn to much is a big nono in my book. Take it from experience, i used to have a gf back when i was a HUGE nice guy. Well i left for the summer (like a month and a half) and started to talk to her EVERY day thinking that when i got back i would be the best bf in the world, but intead when i got back she was so bored with me that she dumped be a few days later after i arrived. So my advice: let her miss you, talk to her every 3 or 4 days,that way every time you talk is more rich of stories and over all more entertaining than just a "how are ya?" every day.
Ya i'm worried that when I get back it'll be boring. We are not a even a couple, so that might make it worse.. I'll try not to talk to her, but honestly it's going to be hard, with these boring days the thing i look forward to is talking to her..CapCrunch said:
War Against Betaism
Master Don Juan
I wouldn't say it's entirely bad, having one night where you talk to her for 2 hours would probably be the limit for just one night, though not everyday. If anything the next time you talk to her, make it seem like you're the one that's bored and that it's her fault that there isn't anything to talk about.
WalkingStick
Senior Don Juan
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If you're not even in a relationship with her, you run a high risk of being LJBFed. Obviously, she enjoys talking to you, but it might just be as a friend. Slow down, calm down, don't be so attached. If she likes you, she'll show it.
what you are doing is giving this gal her FILL of YOU. You are giving her a big wide load of Your personality every day. And how does she feel about that? She feels like she did her duty to her "bf" and now can go flit about town flirting with other guys, guilt free, knowing that you and her did as much as you could for each other emotionally, while you were away on vacation. And she also knows exactly where you are and that you won't be around to see what she is up to. Less of you is MORE. Be mysterious and a bad boy.
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So there seems to be a consensus that I shouldn't talk to this girl everyday, or at least limit the amount of time we do talk. But, does this mean that I ignore her phone calls altogether? The idea seems kind of rude, and I'm not that into playing games with a girl.
Don't talk to her on the phone everday for extensive periods of time. Short term wise, it's okay... but if you're interested in pursuing this girl, doing so would not be in your best interest. I'll explain why right now (and please re-read my post twice, because it contains some very valuable information which you will probably use all your life.)
Now, I am a really big fan of LTR's and relationships in high school (so I consider myself a "moralled DJ".) Some other guys however, are not fans of LTR's in high school because they feel that 99.9% of the time either you or "the girl of your dreams" will become bored of each other. Talks will become more and more boring, thus, you will become more and more distant from each other. Than, when the next chump comes a long who appears slightly more interesting than you, "the girl of your dreams" will most likely leave you, resulting in you posting in this forum: "Where did I go wrong?!"..
Now, I know that you and this girl aren't going out (from what it seems), but you should be able to relate to what I just said. You shouldn't spend so much time talking on the phone with her because that doesn't allow her to miss you! (That's right... you WANT her to WANT you, because that way you become the prize.) A girl wants what she can't have, make her yearn for you! That way, when you come back, her emotions and her desire for you will grow so much, you can make actual plans and than tell her your funny stories, etc! And who knows... you might get a little something out of that too. Save the good conversations for when you spend time together so that when you actually spend time together in person you will ALWAYS have an interesting/funny story to tell her.
Another point I would like to mention. When you spend too much time talking on the phone with a specific person (and this goes hand in hand with instant messengers) both parties become "used too" talking that way and things become awkward in person (to put it in simpler terms).
Finally, I'll give you a bit of some personal advice. Once you start talking on the phone for extensive periods of time, it stays. If you stop doing it, than she'll stay "How come we don't talk at night anymore?" I went out with a girl and I went on vacation and I spent an hour talking to her on the phone each night because we didn't have any other means of communication. Little did I know that once you start these types of thing, a precedent (if you don't know what it means, look it up) will form, and I'll be stuck wasting my personal time on the phone (where I get NO action) on a girl that I now know will have no future with me because I made the mistake of talking to her on the phone for extensive periods of time EVERYDAY. And I just noticed this right now.. "Our conversations aren't that boring." LOL, did I just read "not THAT boring?" ... What the hell is that supposed to mean! Phone conversations or ANY conversation for that matter should be nowhere near close to being boring. You are heading straight for the friend/emotional tampon zone. Get out of there! Remember, you want to invoke MYSTERY and CHARISMA with her, NOT boredom.
So this is what you should do about it..... BECOME BUSY! Let her know you have places to go and people to see. I'm not telling you to stop talking to her completely (which is very wrong as well) but you should keep a balance in everything in life. Gradually start talking to her less and less and reduce it so that you talk to her everyday for 10-15 minutes (I think that should be okay)... and on an odd day, don't pick up or call her... and than speak 20-25 minutes the next day and than immediately cut off and say you have something to do. See what I'm doing? Those days you don't talk to her, she will MISS you. How can you invoke that feeling if you don't give it an opportunity to grow? As a DJ, a girl should NOT be your life, she should be PART of your life.
This is simple textbook information, learn to use time restraints!
Trust me, if you follow this advice you will be MUCH happier and more successful with women.
If you have any comments/suggestions/questions regarding anything I posted, feel free to drop me a PM and I'll be glad to answer it.
Axcell.
Now, I am a really big fan of LTR's and relationships in high school (so I consider myself a "moralled DJ".) Some other guys however, are not fans of LTR's in high school because they feel that 99.9% of the time either you or "the girl of your dreams" will become bored of each other. Talks will become more and more boring, thus, you will become more and more distant from each other. Than, when the next chump comes a long who appears slightly more interesting than you, "the girl of your dreams" will most likely leave you, resulting in you posting in this forum: "Where did I go wrong?!"..
Now, I know that you and this girl aren't going out (from what it seems), but you should be able to relate to what I just said. You shouldn't spend so much time talking on the phone with her because that doesn't allow her to miss you! (That's right... you WANT her to WANT you, because that way you become the prize.) A girl wants what she can't have, make her yearn for you! That way, when you come back, her emotions and her desire for you will grow so much, you can make actual plans and than tell her your funny stories, etc! And who knows... you might get a little something out of that too.
Save the good conversations for when you spend time together so that when you actually spend time together in person you will ALWAYS have an interesting/funny story to tell her.Another point I would like to mention. When you spend too much time talking on the phone with a specific person (and this goes hand in hand with instant messengers) both parties become "used too" talking that way and things become awkward in person (to put it in simpler terms).
Finally, I'll give you a bit of some personal advice. Once you start talking on the phone for extensive periods of time, it stays. If you stop doing it, than she'll stay "How come we don't talk at night anymore?" I went out with a girl and I went on vacation and I spent an hour talking to her on the phone each night because we didn't have any other means of communication. Little did I know that once you start these types of thing, a precedent (if you don't know what it means, look it up) will form, and I'll be stuck wasting my personal time on the phone (where I get NO action) on a girl that I now know will have no future with me because I made the mistake of talking to her on the phone for extensive periods of time EVERYDAY. And I just noticed this right now.. "Our conversations aren't that boring." LOL, did I just read "not THAT boring?" ... What the hell is that supposed to mean! Phone conversations or ANY conversation for that matter should be nowhere near close to being boring. You are heading straight for the friend/emotional tampon zone. Get out of there! Remember, you want to invoke MYSTERY and CHARISMA with her, NOT boredom.
So this is what you should do about it..... BECOME BUSY! Let her know you have places to go and people to see. I'm not telling you to stop talking to her completely (which is very wrong as well) but you should keep a balance in everything in life. Gradually start talking to her less and less and reduce it so that you talk to her everyday for 10-15 minutes (I think that should be okay)... and on an odd day, don't pick up or call her... and than speak 20-25 minutes the next day and than immediately cut off and say you have something to do. See what I'm doing? Those days you don't talk to her, she will MISS you. How can you invoke that feeling if you don't give it an opportunity to grow? As a DJ, a girl should NOT be your life, she should be PART of your life.
This is simple textbook information, learn to use time restraints!
Trust me, if you follow this advice you will be MUCH happier and more successful with women.
If you have any comments/suggestions/questions regarding anything I posted, feel free to drop me a PM and I'll be glad to answer it.
Axcell.
War Against Betaism
Master Don Juan
I wouldn't suggest ignoring her calls, unless you were in a situation where you really couldn't answer your phone. If anything, just talk to her during the night, and if she calls during the day, talk to her for a good minute, then tell her "oh hey can't stay on the phone for long i'll call you later".