Long Peroids Or BS?

[joverby]

I was just checking out the BPD thread in the archive and am starting to get pretty worried because it really sounds like my girl could be BPD. Awesome for the first little bit then slowly pushes you away, great times one day then the next she's randomly a b1tch, minimal effort herself yet b1tches at me when I cut back on contact. She actually used to cut herself too, she has scars all over her arms from it. She never really talked about it at all, just really tid bits ; like how she got a fine for trying to kill herself. Pretty jacked up I know but she seems so normal now and I know it was probably about like 4-5ish years since she did that) And she has a REALLY hard time expressing her emotions, sh1t usually has to build up for her to.

I'll get back to the point, just figured that info could help. But about 11-12 days ago now we hung out after a random falling out.(She stopped initiating contact so I stopped, took about 3 days and she b1tched at me about it via text) But anyway, we get drunk that night; get back in her room start making out hardcore / dry humping, as I'm taking off her pants she says she can't.

A few days ago I hung out w/ her and tried again, same thing said she "she couldn't", I was really stupid and asked why.(Just becasue I knew it had been over a week since the last time I tried and got denied so didn't thinks he could be on the rag still) She just got pissy and said she was on her rag and asked me why else wouldn't she? I can understand getting pissed over that, it was pretty insecure to ask in retrospect. (When I was taking a piss in her bathroom she did have tampon wrappers so I know she wasn't BSing about it too)

Fastforward to last night, I'm hanging out with her at her house. We get back in her room later and pass out. Well the next morning(this morning) I start putting some moves on her a little bit after we wake up and ask if she's still on her peroid she ya. I tell her that as soon as she's off of it we have some making up to do, I was being slick about it. She said that she agreed. (Also noticed the wrappers in the trash) Wasn't originally really TRYING to look for them, they were just sitting there on the top of it and I was getting suspicious as to how long she was on the rag for.

-Possible factors-
She is on birth control.
She smokes A LOT of weed(I've heard this can fvck w/ the menstral cycle.
Every girl is different.

Not sure, just looking to see if anyone has heard of chicks actually having peroids that long(or if it's possible) or if I'm just a fvcking moron. I was actually strongly considering just asking her about it or saying something to the effect of wow, you have your peroids for a really long time(that would be a lot more passive aggressive though)

I actually noticed a weird / longer peroid pattern from early on in the relationship too. I just thought it was supposed to be really stable on the pill and not for that fvcking long. Damn, didn't mean to go on this long but it just kind of happend.

 

[crazyboy]

When a woman on the rag so to speak is only for 1 week. Maybe actually for 2 to 3 days. This woman is bsing you. She could have easily put the wrapper in there. So you wouldn't think she lying but she is.

 

[joverby]

Guess I should've just googled first or talked to her myself. Just based off the first yahoo answer I ran into it looks like it can happen for 2 weeks or so even sometimes. Obviously not normal and can be stress induced; I know she has anxiety to some degree.

She was really affectionate and stuff in the morning so I'll just play it off for a little bit longer, possibly talk to her about it still. But if I don't get laid soon I'm def gone.

 

[Desdinova]

Women who are on a type of birth control that doesn't agree with their body can have their periods messed up for weeks. However, I don't think that's what's going on here.

Awesome for the first little bit then slowly pushes you away, great times one day then the next she's randomly a b1tch, minimal effort herself yet b1tches at me when I cut back on contact.

It really sounds like she doesn't have all that much respect for you. Another problem is this...

I tell her that as soon as she's off of it we have some making up to do, I was being slick about it.

You've told her that sex is of high value to you. So if she's pissed off and wants to punish you, she's going to take away your precious sex. NEVER let the woman know that sex is extremely important to you. They will use it as leverage to get whatever they want. If you want to remain in control in the relationship, you need to indirectly let her know that if she's not going to fvck you, it doesn't make a difference because you can either whack off or get sex from someone else.

You need to let her know that she cannot dangle that golden carrot above your head to make you her slave.

 

[joverby]

I know the respect thing was/is a huge issue. When we hung out the night she rejected me the first time(the drunken night) it was after we had pretty much no contact for 3 days. I told her that it needed to stop or we needed to end the relationship, she apologized blah blah blah. I had been doing things to better / occupy myself since thing and build my frame back up.

I had grim hopes that I could recover from the damage I already did w/ my AFC ways. I know I ****ed up a lot w/ needyness but I know I can't be the only one at fault, but then again that mentality might be kind of counter productive if there are inherent differences in each person.

I guess I already messed up on letting her know sex was important to me, not really sure where to go at this point. I mean it looks like it is possible for girls to have peroids that long so IDK if I should just go off of that.

For some reason it's really hard for me to accept but I know deep down if I'm not fully satisfyed I need to walk away. I just do like this girl a lot, she is really cool and we have pretty damn similar personalitys and things in common. Although we do have some bigger personality differences I just like being with her and want to be. But I really haven't had hardly any serious girlfriends, just a one night stand type of fella. So I know my view on her is skewed based on my limited girlfriend experience. I can see all this logic but it's hard to overcome the emotional side.

 

[AlexDP]

I was just checking out the BPD thread in the archive and am starting to get pretty worried because it really sounds like my girl could be BPD. Awesome for the first little bit then slowly pushes you away, great times one day then the next she's randomly a b1tch, minimal effort herself yet b1tches at me when I cut back on contact. She actually used to cut herself too, she has scars all over her arms from it. She never really talked about it at all, just really tid bits ; like how she got a fine for trying to kill herself. Pretty jacked up I know but she seems so normal now and I know it was probably about like 4-5ish years since she did that) And she has a REALLY hard time expressing her emotions, sh1t usually has to build up for her to.

BPD is pretty serious though. Usually when a girl is and you're in a LTR, you will know when you start reading stories of other BPD relationships. If you're honest with yourself, you should be able to determine whether or not she is BPD. Usually we're not talking about three or four things, but literally hundreds of tiny little details all BPD girls tend to do the same.

Personally I wouldn't ever touch a girl with scars over her arms from cutting herself. Sure, lots of teenage girls are insecure and highly volatile emotionally, but how many actually cut themselves? That being said it is possible she has recovered. A young girl who cuts herself is quite likely to fit BPD criteria, but sometimes it does go into remission. Then again you just know that, when push comes to shove and something stressful happens, she's going to fail. She's not going to be there for you when you need her to be, because even if she appears healthy right now, she probably needs all her energy to keep her that way.

I would walk away, but that's mostly because I was in a BPD relationship and I'm very much done with any girl who shows any sign of not being completely healthy from a psychological point of view.

 

[AlexDP]

I just do like this girl a lot, she is really cool and we have pretty damn similar personalitys and things in common.

Huge sign of BPD by the way. She's probably mirroring you.

 

[Htienvu]

Sorry guys, what is BPD?

 

[joverby]

Sorry guys, what is BPD?

Borderline personality disorder. Just read someone elses thread and here are the "signs" he had with his girl that I have as well.

• Guarded her phone like the fking holy grail, would literally get jumpy if i went near it. i asked her why and she said she's 'always been like that with her phone'.
• Drove like a nutter
• Thought everything was 'annoying' and was always 'bored'
• If i raised an issue with the relationship to have an adult discussion, she'd make out i was being a *****, or flipped it so she was the victim and i was the bad guy and tried guilt tripping me.
• Liked playing the victim - being all closed off and pouty like something was wrong but not telling me what it was.
• Was bisexual.
• Went on her period for (lol) 2.5 months (Going on 2 weeks for me)
• She seemed to respond to drama and me pulling back, like she always wanted to be chasing or pulling away and the relationship seemed like we could split up any second.
• She cut herself in the past / tried to kill herself
• Very impulsive

I guess whether or not she actually is shouldn't be the point. It should be the fact that she's not being a good girlfriend and not even putting out now on top of it. There is just something addicting about her, I hate that I can't get over it.

 

[5string]

Uh oh! Another cluster B.

Watch your six.

 

[joverby]

Uh oh! Another cluster B.

Watch your six.

Are you being serious? Because I'm still not really sure but based off of other peoples experiences it seems like she really could be. Especially w/ her history of cutting.

Would appreciate some more opinions on the matter.

 

[5string]

Are you being serious? Because I'm still not really sure but based off of other peoples experiences it seems like she really could be. Especially w/ her history of cutting.

Would appreciate some more opinions on the matter.

Yea I'm being serious.

Search the forum for BPD in the thread titles, read them and learn the symptoms and warning signs. Then apply what you have learned to your situation.

Knowledge is everything when it comes to this stuff.

 

[pdx1138]

BPD
Personally I wouldn't ever touch a girl with scars over her arms from cutting herself.

I was on a date with a girl one time, things were going pretty well, then I saw some bad scars on both her wrists..... I never pursued her again as a result of seeing that.


on another note, I dated a girl with BPD. A lot of them have it. either very mild or worse.

It lasted 1.5 years, then I just decided to get out of it. It was sucking the life out of me. not fun.

 

[The_411]

Cutting is a very strong indicator of BPD/cluster B. Cutting done to soothe the chaotic feelings that are transpiring. When they cut it releases certain chemicals that calm the storm so to speak.

 

[AlexDP]

I was on a date with a girl one time, things were going pretty well, then I saw some bad scars on both her wrists..... I never pursued her again as a result of seeing that.


on another note, I dated a girl with BPD. A lot of them have it. either very mild or worse.

It lasted 1.5 years, then I just decided to get out of it. It was sucking the life out of me. not fun.

I always thought this was the one symptom of BPD my ex did not have. Then I realised she cut at least one of her fingers at work every single day (she was a hairdresser - which by the way is one of the professions they seem to love). And here's the thing: she was a good hairdresser. She also frequently injured herself because she partied too hard and stuff like that. Sometimes the self destruction isn't as obvious as cutting.