Long Distance Relationships

[Paradiddle]

Why is it a big 'NO'? Not a single member on this forum approves of it and I just wanted to know the reason.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Why do you want to see this girl who lives a long way away from you when you could see another girls who lives closer and who you can see all the time?

 

[xplt]

I had one years ago. LDRs cause you sexual frustration, i tell you. One of both is going to cheat.

 

[highSpeed]

I had one years ago. LDRs cause you sexual frustration, i tell you. One of both is going to cheat.

So does marriage, that's why you avoid both of them like the plague.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Why is it a big 'NO'? Not a single member on this forum approves of it and I just wanted to know the reason.

Letting Go of Invisible Friends

I’m sorry to break this to you, but there is no such thing as a long distance relationship. That’s correct, you have no relationship. An LDR simply does not meet the criteria necessary …

www.google.com

-Augustus-

 

[Jager]

Why is it a big 'NO'? Not a single member on this forum approves of it and I just wanted to know the reason.

A long distance relationship is only valuable to a woman when she’s unable to nail down a guy for her sexual strategy (a cuck). Maybe she’s 300 pounds, or looks like she fell off the ugly tree with every branch coming down. Whatever the case. She’d never have to see him, so it’s a win-win for her, and she’s ashamed of her body and what she’s doing.

Aside from that, the guy never has sex, or rarely does. He devotes himself to somebody that isn’t even there on a consistent basis. A weak man becomes even weaker, and the relationship serves only one purpose - her validation. That’s the only reason she may even want one.

Plus, there’s no way to verify someone’s identity, much less the gender, in a LDR, because it’s usually online. It’s just a bad situation all around, man.

 

[lamath]

Imo a women consciously or subconsciously sees a man in a LDR as man without abundance. So a man accepting to be in LDR lose value/SMV in her eyes.


And lets not forget about the lack of sex this happens to bring.

 

[rjc149]

LDR's fail due to degradation of attraction. The lack of physical intimacy will weaken the emotional bond and cause the degradation of attraction. If the woman is even somewhat attractive, she will have her pick of local dating options which become more and more appealing as her attraction for her long-distance partner inversely falls further and further. Women are emotional beings, and if there is a weak emotional connection, her attraction will be weak as well.

As posted above, men who commit to LDR's subconsciously place their woman on a pedestal, which communicates lack of abundance and low SMV. This is obviously case-by-case, and doesn't really apply to close relationships which get temporarily split up by life events.

LDR's where both partners have relatively low SMV have the highest probability of long-term success.

If you have a strong, close relationship with her, and the distance is a temporary situation (less than 1 year) with a definite end date, then it's not a total no-go. Just understand that the distance WILL degrade the attraction and if she's attractive and gets male attention, you're setting yourself up for some hurt.

 

[Paradiddle]

I reckon there are two types of long distance relationships then? One's where both have only met online or met for a couple of times and then got separated by distance yet have been talking online, sharing feelings and all. Another one; both in a relationship for a remarkable time and then had to live in different places because of their circumstances. I'm asking about the latter. Me and my girlfriend have been now together for a year already. I've come to somewhere to pursue my career and she has gone somewhere to advance in her studies. We have said that we will be together after 2 years because at this pace things will sort out for sure. That's what I'm asking about. We are giving it our best to keep in touch. But do you guys still think that this may NEVER work out? Thank you for your repsonses though.

P.S. One thing I've learnt from my friends regarding LDR is 'Don't tell, don't ask' which means that there will definitely be cheating involved just to satisfy the physical needs for some time only but don't doubt and ask if she's been sleeping with someone and don't confess that you have been doing it as well. How true is this? Any experiences?

 

[rjc149]

It's going to depend on how frequently you can see each other, and whether there is a definite reunion date in the future. I would say once a month minimum, and up to a year maximum.

As for having a 'don't ask don't tell' open relationship, that really depends on you and her. Would you be okay if you found out she was cheating on you for sexual release? Let's say you have a dry spell, would you be cool talking on the phone with her in the evening, knowing in all likelihood that some dude is on his way over to her place to bang her when you get off the phone? While you sit alone thinking about it? In other words, if the emotional attraction in your relationship is low enough to not mind, or where you are actively pursuing other women for sex, then is it a relationship?

If you are in a committed exclusive relationship with her, and you believe there will definitely be cheating, the honest and correct thing to do is to break it off with her. This will leave the door open for a future reunion. Cheating tends to shut that door.

 

[Fireballs]

I reckon there are two types of long distance relationships then? One's where both have only met online or met for a couple of times and then got separated by distance yet have been talking online, sharing feelings and all. Another one; both in a relationship for a remarkable time and then had to live in different places because of their circumstances. I'm asking about the latter. Me and my girlfriend have been now together for a year already. I've come to somewhere to pursue my career and she has gone somewhere to advance in her studies. We have said that we will be together after 2 years because at this pace things will sort out for sure. That's what I'm asking about. We are giving it our best to keep in touch. But do you guys still think that this may NEVER work out? Thank you for your repsonses though.

P.S. One thing I've learnt from my friends regarding LDR is 'Don't tell, don't ask' which means that there will definitely be cheating involved just to satisfy the physical needs for some time only but don't doubt and ask if she's been sleeping with someone and don't confess that you have been doing it as well. How true is this? Any experiences?

She will call you everyday at the start, then that will change to a few times a week .. then you will find yourself calling her all the time and she will be busy a lot not return your calls then you will find out she’s bangin a new dude

LDR’s seldom work..

 

[rjc149]

Yep. The key value-add components that a relationship offers a woman's life (physical companionship and closeness, day-to-day intimacy, safety and security, and oh yeah, regular sex) are missing. Your presence in her life is primarily a phone screen and a date in the calendar for your next visit. The LDR provides little value other than an emotional connection which is also starving and dying from lack of physical contact.

 

[Paradiddle]

It's going to depend on how frequently you can see each other, and whether there is a definite reunion date in the future. I would say once a month minimum, and up to a year maximum.

As for having a 'don't ask don't tell' open relationship, that really depends on you and her. Would you be okay if you found out she was cheating on you for sexual release? Let's say you have a dry spell, would you be cool talking on the phone with her in the evening, knowing in all likelihood that some dude is on his way over to her place to bang her when you get off the phone? While you sit alone thinking about it? In other words, if the emotional attraction in your relationship is low enough to not mind, or where you are actively pursuing other women for sex, then is it a relationship?

If you are in a committed exclusive relationship with her, and you believe there will definitely be cheating, the honest and correct thing to do is to break it off with her. This will leave the door open for a future reunion. Cheating tends to shut that door.

Makes a lot more sense to me now. Thanks

 

[Paradiddle]

Thank you all for your comments and advices. This will help me, I'm sure. Cheers.

 

[Paradiddle]

I'm also expecting some insights from @billtx49 , @Dash Riprock and @BeExcellent in this regard. I would deeply appreciate your comments. Thanks in advance.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Why is it a big 'NO'? Not a single member on this forum approves of it and I just wanted to know the reason.

Zero steady sex. Sacrifice of your biological strategy being, soread the seed, access to abundance of women. Meanwhile she's getting her **** pushed in.

 

[Suave88]

I had 2 long distance relationships in my life. One was overseas and 24 years old. Nice looking girl I wanted to marry. I met her thru friend because his wife knew the girl. So she did not come out of a bar or overseas mating website. On my first night, we went out. She kissed me and we hooked up and that was pretty much what happened that night in the back of the moskovitch the first time. I later took pictures of her and left the country. I was 29 back then. We wrote back and forward for a year. The year end came and I went back to meet her. The action began on the first night I saw her after my return. She was alone at home and we started to talk in the living room. Then, she said let's come to talk in my bedroom and grabbed my arm and pulled me in. In bed, she wanted to chat, but I knew what she was actually wanting was my cuck. So I started to kiss her and toar her thong to put my spear in it. The rest you all know. For two weeks, I bangged her. While this time, she tested me hard. The testing was so hard, I thought I was being shot at with machine gun fire. I had to be low low low to pass the wire. Anyway, left the country and started to write her back, but then I started to test her in retaliation and she became upset. So the relationship went down. She married and now she is 36. I doubt she is not divorced. I was a member here in the past and that was how I was able to pass of her testing. I learn a lot. This happened back in 2007. The other girl is 13 years younger and she looks good, but she was a former inmate. I wrote to her for a long time. We finally met this year, but she started to ghost the relationship. I needed her help and she ignored me. We were connected on facebook and she unfriend me because I was rude to her. She was ignoring my texts and calls. Plying hard to get. As a result I applied the 90 days rule and it worked a little. Still, I don't know what will happen. I am also looking at new chick I met last year and she is 36. This one is local. Last time I call her, she said she will call later. Today is Saturday and we chat last Sunday. Nothing, no call and no text. Bytch. Sorry, I apologize for my writing. I have very little time to edit my comments.

 

[2Rocky]

Long Distance Relationship.... who has done this?

I would like to hear from guys that have pulled this off. The deal is that I live in the Los Angeles area, she spends time in LA and Oklahoma, about 50/50. we have not seen each other yet, will happen when she is here in 2 weeks.. I have never done a long distance relationship and would...

www.sosuave.net

Your mileage may vary.

I think if you came into an LDR while dating new women frequently it would be really difficult to adapt your mindset. An LDR requires delayed gratification, and I think the hedonistic pursuits of many of the members here don't allow for that sort of thinking.

I'm trying to think about what it was in my life that made it WORK for me. Maybe it was the time apart that allowed me to work on my self and my projects. Maybe it was a feeling of abundance in my dating life that I didn't NEED to get the quick and easy layup. Maybe for both of us, we didn't feel we could "do better". All the same things that make an LTR work.

But I would say in the majority of cases I would not recommend a long distance relationship. Now that we have closed the distance I couldn't go back to long distance.

 

[ubercat]

Interesting read. Facing this now. I'm the one creating the ldr. Had to move interstate for a good work opportunity. Girlfriend of nearly 4 years. I can afford to go down or have her come up once a month. Only good thing is with Christmas coming up will have a couple of weeks together relatively soon. I think my end will be ok it's a very big job it will be exhausted on weekends. Basically I think weekends will be a mixture of work sports and sleeping. See how she bears up.

 

[Suave88]

In my opinion, men should only be concern with romance, not relationship. It is true most of us don't approve LDR because they do not work and cite some issues like distance, lack of connection, no sex and so on. My only regret about the LDR is that
when I came back from overseas, I made the mistake of braking with my local girlfriend. This was a huge mistake because I later broke up with the girl overseas. But again, worry only about romance. Forget about wanting to marry her or any girl you have ever had. Concentrate in romance and sex. Nevertheless, if you see that it works, then go for it. My LDR did not work because of the distance, lack of connection, and no sex, but because of the testing going on between us.