loners any of u out there

[joe45]

any loners out there and how can i make more freinds. i tried clubs, everything most ppl tend to be aquintances u see-hello and hello there and here and after a while its over. ppl seem to want to stick with their own crowd. i still don;t have a gf at 24 don;t laugh -yea it sucks big time. thinking of taking martial arts, picking up guitar, maybe what next-just as a interest and to meet ppl.

a lot of loners are quite and shy. myself i am one-don;t want to be but growing up as a child and now-well its improving i have always been the quite and shy kid -thats why i have few freinds. parents were always strict and super over sheltered life thinking everyone out there is out to get u and everyones a drug dealer or some badd person-thanks to what they see on the news and movies about young ppl.
parents always said freinds don;t do nothing for u and this and that, came home from school from elem to HS and went straight home -eat and then study-school was the only thing they cared about- freinds they thought were a waste of time-only if they could help u in life like school wise.

 

[Chrisman]

Go join some activity groups of things you enjoy. You'll meet people with similar interests. Just be willing to go forward and socialize with them.

 

[diablo]

AE...

In addition, there are about 39483 threads on this exact topic. I'd recommend you do a search.

 

[Bradshaw]

joe45,

I have read some of your posts, and I have noticed something. I don't believe that you have a 'fear of failure', but rather a 'fear of success'. You seem to have certain theme's tied into your self image: I am a 24yr old virgin, I am shy, I was sheltered, etc You almost define yourself by these labels. Moving out of them would be 'out of your comfort zone', so you just tend to focus on what is 'wrong' with you and stick to it out of habit. It is just a habit. A BAD habit. A habit that you can, and will, break!

Here are my recommendations:

1.) Get a hobby that will allow you to interact with people who you would want to 'hang out with'.

example: Take up MMA (mixed marial arts). The reason I would recommend MMA compared to TMA (traditional martial arts) is that the people in MMA tend to be early 20's and want to go out to clubs, while TMA has a lot of 'old farts' that go home to the kids after class. Go out for a beer with them after training, offer to drop them of after class if you have a car, befriend them, etc. Remember: men bond doing activities.

2.) Get these 2 books by Dale Carnegie:

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

- basic book on how to relate to people. eg. How to direct conversations so that they would interest the OTHER person, and not bore them with your problems.

"How to Stop Worrying & and start Living" by Dale Carnegie.

- I only read some of this book, but it is good as well. The one chapter is about living in "Day-tight-compartments". This means only worrying about what happens to you in this current day. Forget about what you can't change from yesterday, don't worry about what you can't predict tommorrow, and focus your enjoyment on the current day. The examples that he provides in the books really 'hit home' and make the theme in the book rememberable. Reading this book will also help you relax around people and make you more enjoyable to be around.


Hope this helps.

 

[C00L]

be glad you live in the most livable city in the world. i wanna move to vancouver.

 

[joe45]

the thing with this freind is one day or sometimes he can be the nicest guy-supporitve and this and that and sometimes he can be the biggest jack axxxxx u can ever hate.
one time he said "woow 24 yr old guy and never had a gf woow pathetic lsoer"-that hurted me bad
makes fun of the way i dress like thats cheap and u look like a fxxx FOB -i am cbc


all and all i knew this frend for too long 4 yrs approx i need to widen my circle of friends and meet more ppl.

 

[bbestar]

Originally posted by joe45
any loners out there and how can i make more freinds. i tried clubs, everything most ppl tend to be aquintances u see-hello and hello there and here and after a while its over. ppl seem to want to stick with their own crowd. i still don;t have a gf at 24 don;t laugh -yea it sucks big time. thinking of taking martial arts, picking up guitar, maybe what next-just as a interest and to meet ppl.

a lot of loners are quite and shy. myself i am one-don;t want to be but growing up as a child and now-well its improving i have always been the quite and shy kid -thats why i have few freinds. parents were always strict and super over sheltered life thinking everyone out there is out to get u and everyones a drug dealer or some badd person-thanks to what they see on the news and movies about young ppl.
parents always said freinds don;t do nothing for u and this and that, came home from school from elem to HS and went straight home -eat and then study-school was the only thing they cared about- freinds they thought were a waste of time-only if they could help u in life like school wise.

in the same boat, man except i have accepted God's free gift of eternal life

 

[Dominant]

Stop complaining and go make some friends. You know how to make friends. Don't tell me you don't. YES YOU DO.

Use your common sense and think for a second. I guarantee you can think of several ways to make friends. More than that, I GUARANTEE you already have friendship possibilities.

The problem is not that you do not know how. You know EXACTLY what to do. The problem is that you are NOT WILLING TO DO what you already know.

-Dominant

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I prefer to know people casually. I really don't have time to be bogged down in friendship stuff. I just need a few road dogs, that are willing to ride out at any moment.

 

[Dimebag_Darrell]

i was raised like that and I to an extent am still shy and quiet but it's sometimes better than someone who won't stop yakkin. I've learned to sort of interact with folks and a lot of ppl liked me but I've learned to not depend on them so much.

 

[MackJr]

I've joined groups, but they haven't given me any luck as far as dating.

 

[spider_007]

i'm in the middle of making something happen, once i'm done (after newyears) i will make a nice big post on the subject.

i'll make sure to pm you when im ready to give you my revelation and insight from first hand experience.

 

[Prophett]

You aren't a loner buddy. Most loners aren't socially inept, they just prefer to be alone. In their case it's by choice. You on the otherhand, are a shy guy who needs to break out of his comfort zone.