Loneliness Anxiety?

[zaffuh]

Hello DJ Forum,

I know this is my first post but I have been lurking this board for quite some time now. I got some good advice so thanks guys.

But here's the problem I've been having and I hope some of you can shed some construction light on this topic. I'm your typical AFC, relationship ended after a year blahblahblah, its been a couple months now. I stopped talking to her and what not but I still have memories that eat at me now and then I suppose this is normal.

So I try to get with other chicks and lately I've been feelings like I have lost my game. Things used to be so easy and natural for me. Now whenever I try to make plans to take someone out, they flake on me. I'm tired of having plans canceled by other people.

Not to sound anymore emo, but real talk. You would feel lonely too when ever your friends just blow you off. So now I've been trying to take time to enjoy things by myself but I think that makes things worse. See it's like purgatory too because I'm going back to school soon and so I'm not sure if opening new connections would be such a great idea. Even then it would be hard because I'm flying solo in every stage imaginable.

In addition, what I have noticed about myself is, is that I tend to worry alot. Like ALOT. About anything really. Things just keep getting at me. And I know like nothing can change whatever I worry about but it's a terrible habit. I think this trait I inherited from my father who also would complain repetitively over and over about the same thing. Are there anyways to kind of stop this?

I just want to say thank you for your time and it feels good to try to get some help here. I feel quite comfortable talking over the internetz.

 

[women haze]

Good Advice, If you find yourself missing her just remember that by whatever circumstance your relationship did not work out. Therefore, It was a poison to you, and you do not need that. If you find yourself missing her remember how bad it was and why you left her, or she left you in the first place.


Go to the gym, take a martial arts course....Better yourself. Soon, with time it will get better.

 

[HolyG]

Get out there and start approaching

Try out an RSD bootcamp

The link in my sig is a site I made about this issue, you can check it out

 

[King Valmont]

I can feel your pain... We have all had times in our lives when we worry alot and have anxiety... we are all human.

I noticed that if you constantly have goals written down (a nice to do list) and try to get through it everyday that will definately get you on your path (to whatever you want) and the pain will go away... your mind will be too pre occupied.... and not think and worry. A mind with no direction will go all over the place. I did a podcast on this: http://thevalmontshow.podbean.com/2009/08/04/make-a-full-to-do-list-every-day-follow-it/

The other part of your situation is you need more confidence and faith in yourself. Try being a lone wolf....

 

[zaffuh]

Thank you for the advice guys. I will listen to the podcast right now. I agree with your comment on the free mind being able to wander all over even to unwanted places. It just seems like with me these kinds of situations tend to last a lot longer than others. And with the confidence thing, perhaps that b.i.t.c.h. took my confidence. I am a pretty attractive guy to begin with but my mental instability ruins it :-/. I must keep focused. PS Being a lone wolf seems like a good thing to learn how to do.

 

[Ease]

Not to sound anymore emo, but real talk. You would feel lonely too when ever your friends just blow you off. So now I've been trying to take time to enjoy things by myself but I think that makes things worse. See it's like purgatory too because I'm going back to school soon and so I'm not sure if opening new connections would be such a great idea. Even then it would be hard because I'm flying solo in every stage imaginable.

Nice paragraph i can relate to this

After my LTR break up i went into a phase where i felt isolated and alone, with a void even with my friends. Its psychological though, just regular depression. I felt quite distant from everyone and 'flying solo' indeed. Being AFC's we get too needy and attached to the girl, and messes up our psychology when she leaves.

Listen to some podcasts by 'playersupreme'. He's brilliant. Gives it to you straight and slaps you in the face hard enough to get back to being a man.
I agree with some of his philosophies more than others but he has very interesting insight. Try to find the podcast he did about break ups, its powerful lol.