lol Banter lines you can use to tease

[redspicyflag]

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/27MarkVanderhoff.html

Pickup Lines:
The First Drafts.

BY MARK VANDERHOFF

- - - -

Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular.

You must wash your pants with Windex, because something really smells like Windex.

Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you?

Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your last name again? Oh, yeah, I guess that does sound Irish. Never mind.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?

Are you from Tennessee? I hate people from Tennessee.

Excuse me; I seem to have misplaced my inmate number, which was assigned to me by this state's accursed penal system after it was discovered that I was indeed the "Fruit by the Foot Strangler." Can I borrow yours?

Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.

Some of these are pretty good

I lol'd alot:crackup:

gonna use em in the field

 

[Eccentric]

I like "Excuse me, you probably hear this a lot but I just have to talk to the most beautiful girl in this place. Mind helping me find her?"

 

[In Motion]

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?"

Haha, I love some of these!

 

[NoMoreTapDancing]

Guys you've got to be kidding? This doesn't work. Don't use any of this stuff. Can't you just go over and say hello to her? You can't tease with canned lines? You have to tease using your natural sense of humour and a response to the situation. Getting girls isn't an RPG. You can't just go around using lines like this expecting some kind of positive response. You'll just get laughed at.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Guys you've got to be kidding? This doesn't work. Don't use any of this stuff. Can't you just go over and say hello to her? You can't tease with canned lines? You have to tease using your natural sense of humour and a response to the situation. Getting girls isn't an RPG. You can't just go around using lines like this expecting some kind of positive response. You'll just get laughed at.

There's something to be said about the congruence of guys saying things which fit their personality.

 

[NoMoreTapDancing]

True, but then such guys would have come up with stuff like this on the fly as a result of their personality, not because they read it on a forum?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

True, but then such guys would have come up with stuff like this on the fly as a result of their personality, not because they read it on a forum?

They probably could. It wouldn't be as corny but probably as offensive. It's easy to come up with insults that anything else. That's why c/f is used (incorrectly) so often, it's easier.

 

[Axcell]

They probably could. It wouldn't be as corny but probably as offensive. It's easy to come up with insults that anything else. That's why c/f is used (incorrectly) so often, it's easier.

So long as you ensure you have developed enough rapport with the women you are targetting, it should not come off as offensive. Just ensure you have a cheeky smile, and you don't sound "dry" when saying it. When you develop rapport with her, she should be able to take a joke. And if she can't, well, next her. Have the frame of mind that "I need a girl who can take a joke. If you can't take a joke, stop wasting my time and let me find somebody who can suit my needs."

Some of those sound too much like they were taken from the internet (so they may have been entertaining to read, but definetly not something I would say), but I am liking Eccentric's: "Excuse me, you probably hear this a lot but I just have to talk to the most beautiful girl in this place. Mind helping me find her?"

Simply gold, and would probably work on the field.

 

[canadianmetalhead]

i wouldnt ever use lines like this, but the "are you fmor tenesse? i hate people form tenesee" is genious...thats somehting i would actually say haha

 

[redspicyflag]

Guys you've got to be kidding? This doesn't work. Don't use any of this stuff. Can't you just go over and say hello to her? You can't tease with canned lines? You have to tease using your natural sense of humour and a response to the situation. Getting girls isn't an RPG. You can't just go around using lines like this expecting some kind of positive response. You'll just get laughed at.

It's all about your personal style

I found these lines and decided to help my DJ bros out

chill bro

 

[sandman6991]

I like them...they're pretty funny!

 

[619joe]

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?"

"Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes."

^ The only two really worth it.I disagree with these lines being openers.These are PEREFECT few minutes AFTER the opener.Assuming your the type of guy who can pull it off AND improvise it a bit then you would be set.

 

[Crazy Asian]

i wouldn't use these lines seriously.
just as a corny joke to start the convo.

 

[ChrizZ]

I wouldn't use them either.

I like this one though:

"OMG, did you fall from heaven?"

..."well, you sure look like you hit the ground pretty hard!"

 

[DismantleRepair]

I am strongly against using an obviously canned opener like these, they are just too fake.

Instead, you should think of something contextual, ie, something happening around you. This will show that you do actually have a sense of humour.

Just tonight actually, I was on a ship back to Wellington over the Cook Strait. It was a pretty bumpy ride, the ship was leaning and rocking, and I did one approach, for the second line I said "So what do you get up to when you're not rocking back and forth? *small pause* ....the ship, I mean." Which I got a great laugh and response from.

Pretty much find anything around you and turn it into a double entendre. That also takes care of her seeing you as a sexual being.

 

[Nighthawk]

"I just want to tell you something but it'll probably sound retarded... muhbuhmurblemuhbaa."

 

[redspicyflag]

I believe canned lines should be used sparingly

like a spice

wouldn't hurt, would it?

 

[CrunchyNut]

I love the Windex one and the criminals one!

How about "you're ugly but you intrigue me!"

 

[woods]

Do you work at UPS?... Then why are you checkin' out my package?

I totally blew it with a girl who really was checking me out with that one!
I told her I dont like chicks with no sense of humor, and said it to a girl close to her, who started laughing her ass off. I looked at girl #1 and shrugged my shoulders and gave her a 'you fukked up' look.