Location location location

[SW15]

Well said, my thoughts exactly! Most women in my age range (29+), unless they are teachers are living in the immediate New York City/Philadelphia area.

This is the reason for my "scarcity" mindset. I can't really move since my good paying job is down here.

Hoboken is a great scene, but you better be pulling in at the minimum $75,000 a year if you want to avoid roomates.

Hoboken has beautiful women as soon as you step outside your door and the city is just across the river.

Monmouth County is a bit better (the county just north of me) since people do commute to New York City from there.

Red Bank is a miniature Hoboken.

Ocean County is probably too suburban to be effective for dating. The largest city in Ocean County is 92,000, below the 150,000 population threshold for an area needed to be effective for a single person above age 25. The county itself has over 600,000 but the land area is somewhat large.

This is also why I am skeptical about what I have heard about Morristown and Morris County. Morris County's population is around 500,000. The largest city in Morris County is below 60,000. That screams suburbia to me. However, Morris County is closer to more populated New Jersey counties and New York City, unlike Ocean County. Ocean County is close to nothing.

Hoboken is good enough that you could effectively date within Hoboken-Weehawken-Jersey City and not need to go into New York City. Also, New York City people complain about dating New Jersey people. The logistics are too difficult. 300,000 people are densely packed into a small area (Hudson County). Hudson County is feasible for dating.

@oc16 -- I'd recommend finding a job in Philadelphia that can keep your standard of living.

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I think location becomes more important once you hit the 25-30 age range. If you find yourself turning 25 and live in small area (150k or less), are not married to your high school or college sweetheart, and don't have a good social circle, you need to move somewhere larger. Moving from one large metro area to another rarely solves a dating problem but it is possible to solve a dating problem moving from somewhere below 150k to somewhere with a 1 million+ population.

Mid-sized areas (200-600k population) can work well for some men. In mid-sized areas, the dating competition is less fierce. Women in major metro areas have HUGE demands of men. In mid-sized areas, that isn't the case. I wouldn't move to a mid-sized area for the dating pool but if a man happens to get a job in a mid-sized area, it's a workable option.

I've seen men in mid-sized areas with good social circles have an overall less frustrating dating experience than men in metro areas 5 million+ with weak social circles.

 

[SW15]

I had a harem in DC, it can be done but no it's not easy and the women aren't attractive. The ratios are still decent, it's just that the women aren't great.

SF is very similar to DC qualitatively but is at least 2x worse. It is so bad that not even social circles work(they don't feel the need for supervised dating in a social circle when they can rule with an iron fist on online dating). Clubs full of men to a ratio of 3-4 to 1, not that it matters because every woman there is with her boyfriend anyway. Ditto for day game: 1-3 male chaperones per woman.

I always lumped DC and the SF Bay Area in together as the worst of the worst large metros in the USA for mating environments. Thanks for pointing out a difference.

That's amazing that SF Bay Area women are choosing the route of 500-1,000 men in their app queues over a social circle.

There's a reason San Jose is called 'Man Jose'. There is a bad oversupply of men in the Bay Area. Also, there are a lot of men in the Bay Area that totally pedestalize women and raise their expectations, even if they don't actually get their vaginas. There are a ton of Aspie tech guys, East/South Asian males who are super thirsty. Most of them aren't getting laid. Some of the South Asian STEM guys chase white women like crazy and a few of them end up with overweight white women.

 

[Pandora]

I had a harem in DC, it can be done but no it's not easy and the women aren't attractive. The ratios are still decent, it's just that the women aren't great.

SF is very similar to DC qualitatively but is at least 2x worse. It is so bad that not even social circles work(they don't feel the need for supervised dating in a social circle when they can rule with an iron fist on online dating). Clubs full of men to a ratio of 3-4 to 1, not that it matters because every woman there is with her boyfriend anyway. Ditto for day game: 1-3 male chaperones per woman.

Bro SF sounds horrible! I thought LA was bad but it sounds like SF is worse. Hey what about the Asian girls out there? Do they date the white guys and ignore the Asian dudes?

 

[SW15]

LA is fine if you're in great shape, otherwise yeah it's tough. I have dated some hot women in LA when in good shape.

Part of the reason that Los Angeles is bad is because there are so many more single men than single women. Women can demand anything. Female fussiness for sex and relationships is high, especially among white women living on LA's Westside.

SF is definitely so, so much worse. Asian women are no different than other ethnicities there.

I believe it. There are so many East/South Asian men (mostly tech workers) there chasing the East/South Asian women there. East Asian men are more demure approachers than South Asian men, especially the Indians/Indian-Americans. East Asian women are in huge demand there.

One thing you'll notice is people trying to set you up with much older women.

This is not just a San Francisco thing. My mom got re-married in her 60s to a similarly aged man with adult children. My mom's husband's daughter knew a woman who is 6 years older than I am AND overweight. She tried to set me up with that woman. I declined.

My 35yo friend is a legitimate alpha male and his girlfriend is a 40 year old single mom with the husband around constantly. Suffice it to say he is miserable because he knows he could do so much better anywhere but there.

He needs to leave that situation. I did an approach the other day on a walking path. I saw this woman in a sports bra and she looked great. I made the approach happen. This is a 5'10" woman who was approximately 130 lbs. Her sports bra perfectly showed off her flat stomach. Very little body fat. She is an active runner. Pleasant personality, the conversation went well. The downside is that she has 2 kids. I didn't ask her out because of that. I have self respect for my time and my worth. I only deal with childless women.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Bump for interesting thread.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I always lumped DC and the SF Bay Area in together as the worst of the worst large metros in the USA for mating environments. Thanks for pointing out a difference.

That's amazing that SF Bay Area women are choosing the route of 500-1,000 men in their app queues over a social circle.

There's a reason San Jose is called 'Man Jose'. There is a bad oversupply of men in the Bay Area. Also, there are a lot of men in the Bay Area that totally pedestalize women and raise their expectations, even if they don't actually get their vaginas. There are a ton of Aspie tech guys, East/South Asian males who are super thirsty. Most of them aren't getting laid. Some of the South Asian STEM guys chase white women like crazy and a few of them end up with overweight white women.

I don't know the areas but I hear Jon Fitch ex ufc fighter has success there. Likely not game but status as ex ufc clout. Seems like a cool dude and no flex. Can imagine how much worse for civilians.

London is great. Trafalgar Sq was my old stomping ground for day game on my come up. Again absurd amounts of foreign girls. Better experience with foreign. And it's just occurred by happenstance rather than intent. Girl turns out to be from Poland or wherever. It's no shocker why Tusk and troy go elsewhere.

Gambler described his thoughts on UK women.