LMR, aftereffects

[JackRyanJuan]

What's up SoSuave, been a few years since I've posted. I have a story from last night I wanted to get off my chest, and see how you guys would feel in this situation.

Reader's digest version: Girl I knew in college, same age, she had a crush on me. Haven't spoken to each other in 5 years, I hit her up for a get together at her place when I fly home to visit family. She cooks dinner, we go out and dance, back to her place for movie and drinks. I escalate, she gives HUGE last minute resistance, I keep backing off and restarting. She is clearly worked up, but not enough to completely overcome her anxiety. I ate her out, she got off, she was squirming big time and her face flushed beet red. Then she puts my di$k in her mouth, works a little, and says she can't go any further.

At that point she really is done; she puts her clothes back on and gets ready for bed. At this point I am pretty frustrated, and am basically left to sleep in the bed of a woman who has just, in my mind, slapped me in the face. Am I in the wrong to think like this? She got hers, then basically says fuk off.

Feeling extremely frustrated right now and a little hurt at the rejection. My question is, am I justified in feeling this way? Or is it AFCism creeping up on me? The thing is, I literally woke up this morning uncontrollably pissed.

I'll reiterate: What bothers me is not that she didnt't want to go all the way, it's that she got hers and left me hanging, even after starting head. That's just wrong in my opinion.

 

[Desdinova]

At that point she really is done; she puts her clothes back on and gets ready for bed. At this point I am pretty frustrated, and am basically left to sleep in the bed of a woman who has just, in my mind, slapped me in the face. Am I in the wrong to think like this? She got hers, then basically says fuk off.

Getting pissed off is probably the worst way to handle a situation like this. You CANNOT let the act of sex control you. Patience is the key. You KNOW she wants to fvck you. Her anti-slvt defense has kicked in because it was a first date. When you become insecure about it, it becomes a turn-off and you validate her anti-slvt defense for making the right choice. You need to make her doubt that instinct. Make her regret not going all the way with you. Make her determined to fvck you next time she sees you.

When she resists, just tell her that it's okay, and say "we got into it a bit too quickly." Cuddle her, kiss her goodnight, and show no insecurity. When you get into it the next round, she'll open right up

If you need something to go on, just think about the progress you've made. Five years ago, you did nothing with her. First date, you get her naked in the sack and you buried your face in her pu55y. That's fantastic progress! There's no reason to be pissed about it. Next time you see her, you'll have no problem putting your d1ck inside her because she'll be more comfortable being naked with you.

NEVER take incredible progress as something negative. Don't focus on the fact that you haven't reached your destination, focus on how far you've already traveled.

 

[JackRyanJuan]

Thanks for the quick reply, your input is extremely helpful. I see me getting mad as a rookie mistake that I will learn from. I think part of the frustration is from being blue-balled hard core; there's few things more frustrating in life than a full sack.

 

[Desdinova]

The more you take women to the sack, the easier it will get to control yourself. Experience is the greatest teacher, and if a woman lets you get her naked, she will (eventually) let you fvck her.

 

[Larry Walker]

You actually stayed and slept with her in the bed after this? If so huge mistake. You should have left immediately. I would have slept in the car if I was drinking.

 

[Desdinova]

You actually stayed and slept with her in the bed after this? If so huge mistake. You should have left immediately. I would have slept in the car if I was drinking.

Doing something like this puts the power of sex in her hands. Women use sex to control the actions of a man if they know he has a weakness for it. You need to show her that she cannot control you with sex by being indifferent to it. Sleeping in the car when she denies you sex shows that she DOES have control over you.

You cannot punish a woman by taking yourself away from the bedroom if you've done nothing in the bedroom with her. You'll just end up with the male stereotype of "only wanting one thing".

 

[Die Hard]

You absolutely are justified in feeling this way and it´s not AFC´ism creeping up to you.

One word:

BPD (Oh my, I said it again! Time for someone to create another thread about the BPD label being used too easily!)

Do yourself a favor and NEXT this chick. But since you probably won´t do that, do the following: see if this occasion, where she caused you feelings of anger and frustration, was just an incident or whether it´s gonna repeat itself soon enough... If the latter proves to be the case, be smart and get out.

 

[Larry Walker]

Doing something like this puts the power of sex in her hands. Women use sex to control the actions of a man if they know he has a weakness for it. You need to show her that she cannot control you with sex by being indifferent to it. Sleeping in the car when she denies you sex shows that she DOES have control over you.

You cannot punish a woman by taking yourself away from the bedroom if you've done nothing in the bedroom with her. You'll just end up with the male stereotype of "only wanting one thing".

Maybe you are correct. But if she half sucks it and then just stops, you are supposed to pretend like it doesn't bother you? This is an incident where maybe you should slap that ho.

 

[charlezz]

Reviving this thread, yesterday I brought a hot chick to the hotel. Our homes are not possible as we are living with families. She's 26, I'm 30. She is quite a conservative girl (i like her a lot too, she definately has LTR qualities) but end up at the hotel due to my near perfect game. Known one another for 2months. Very strong attraction.

LMR is very strong, she keep refusing my advances even though she's naked.
By the way, she is very drunk at that point. After repeated failures(i admit I tried too hard and too fast) I put on my shirt and told her that I am going to buy breakfast for both of us. 20 mins later when I am back with breakfast, she is no longer in the hotel room.

I received a text, she mentioned that she is VERY upset that i keep pushing her and she is heartbroken and she has an impression that i treat her like a hooker (which of coz is a NONO, i like her as a LTR material) i started calling her several times, no answer and text her MANY text saying (gulp.. AFC) I like her as a person and I have always enjoyed her company; and I have bought breakfast..

I know I know, you guys will scream AFC. but I swear I really lost control of my mind that period of time. Before the hotel incident, my game is near perfect; I am also good looking and rich. But this is a girl whom I really enjoy her company. Mind body attitude, shes 9/10. I have 5girls pursuing me now and none equals her level. Oneitis detected

Any solutions? Bite my lips and walk away? Wait for her response?

Fellow expert DJs, need ur input and advises seriously

 

[charlezz]

To add on. She went home straight after leaving the hotel room and I even drove to her place and text her "I'm downstairs"
Previously I have F closed a girl (left her with a broken heart) whom knows the above chick personally. Small world yeh..

 

[Gro0ver]

Getting pissed off is probably the worst way to handle a situation like this. You CANNOT let the act of sex control you. Patience is the key. You KNOW she wants to fvck you. Her anti-slvt defense has kicked in because it was a first date. When you become insecure about it, it becomes a turn-off and you validate her anti-slvt defense for making the right choice. You need to make her doubt that instinct. Make her regret not going all the way with you. Make her determined to fvck you next time she sees you.

When she resists, just tell her that it's okay, and say "we got into it a bit too quickly." Cuddle her, kiss her goodnight, and show no insecurity. When you get into it the next round, she'll open right up

If you need something to go on, just think about the progress you've made. Five years ago, you did nothing with her. First date, you get her naked in the sack and you buried your face in her pu55y. That's fantastic progress! There's no reason to be pissed about it. Next time you see her, you'll have no problem putting your d1ck inside her because she'll be more comfortable being naked with you.

NEVER take incredible progress as something negative. Don't focus on the fact that you haven't reached your destination, focus on how far you've already traveled.

Very solid advice man.

Reviving this thread, yesterday I brought a hot chick to the hotel. Our homes are not possible as we are living with families. She's 26, I'm 30. She is quite a conservative girl (i like her a lot too, she definately has LTR qualities) but end up at the hotel due to my near perfect game. Known one another for 2months. Very strong attraction.

LMR is very strong, she keep refusing my advances even though she's naked.
By the way, she is very drunk at that point. After repeated failures(i admit I tried too hard and too fast) I put on my shirt and told her that I am going to buy breakfast for both of us. 20 mins later when I am back with breakfast, she is no longer in the hotel room.

I received a text, she mentioned that she is VERY upset that i keep pushing her and she is heartbroken and she has an impression that i treat her like a hooker (which of coz is a NONO, i like her as a LTR material) i started calling her several times, no answer and text her MANY text saying (gulp.. AFC) I like her as a person and I have always enjoyed her company; and I have bought breakfast..

I know I know, you guys will scream AFC. but I swear I really lost control of my mind that period of time. Before the hotel incident, my game is near perfect; I am also good looking and rich. But this is a girl whom I really enjoy her company. Mind body attitude, shes 9/10. I have 5girls pursuing me now and none equals her level. Oneitis detected

Any solutions? Bite my lips and walk away? Wait for her response?

Fellow expert DJs, need ur input and advises seriously

You shouldn't take it so personally dude. I know you've known this girl for 2 months but how many dates have you been on? Even if you've got tight game every girl isn't the same, you can't expect them all to fvck you on the 1st/2nd/3rd date, they will often have rules and principles for themselves that they stick by much like we do. It can be a big deal to them and your attitude towards it affects interest level and how much she trusts you/is comfortable around you.

This girl i'm seeing now, I knew i had to be a bit patient. I stayed round her place twice and she stayed round mine once before we first fvcked (over the first 2/3 weeks). I was real patient and acted like it wasn't a big deal at all, we'd go as fast or slow as she liked. All the time i was reading her signals and gradually escalated things physically so she felt comfortable with me and then bam, i've earned her trust and she gives it up. Less then 3 weeks and she's hot, not bad at all. She said she did it with me way before she thought she would, she "broke all the rules" or something.

Don't take it so personally dudes. There could be any number of reasons why she's holding back, doesn't mean she's not interested. You just gotta be patient and don't act like your life depends on it, and she'll loosen up. Explore the boundries, push buttons but be patient and you'll reap the rewards. Be a gentleman about it and let her enjoy the suspense rather then getting stressed out.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Jack Ryan,
Why bother....She is coldly in control,give her the flick!

 

[charlezz]

The problem is I have been AFC towards her after she left the hotel. I am not sure how badly have I hurt her as what she text me. But she has ceased all contacts with me, no txt replies no call back.

I believe the only thing I can do is move on.. If she contacts me, Great! If not.. I guess it's an expensive lesson. It's just that if I am escalating too fast and it will damage the whole relationship? OUCh!

Oh additional info, her female friends all love me and been praising how great I am, in their minds, they have known me as the great catch..

 

[charlezz]

Updates, found out from her female buddy that she is pretty sad about what has happened as she is looking at me as a serious guy to be together with. And from the action, at the hotel room, she feels that I am only looking to fvck her and dumped her (I previously fvck and dumped another girl whom coincidently knows her)

We see one another frequently at a neighbour club and after the incident, we have been cold towards one anOther. (walked past one another like strangers) however, I am still appearing to be having fun but the feeling of her absence is kinda killing me.. guys..

I really do want to get her back but it's going to be damn hard.

I have overanalysed. Help pls..

 

[Bible_Belt]

When you reach the point where she's naked, but still cuts you off, before you completely give up, just jack off on her. It solves everything: you get off and are not mad, she doesn't feel like a slvt for putting out too soon, and if she doesn't like the mess, that's her incentive to behave better next time.

 

[charlezz]

Doesn't seem like there will be a next time, she thinks that I am treating her as a hooker, no contacts from her after that day. Jeez, I don't feel like saying things like "Noooo, i really do like u, sorry for pushing you too much"

Damn it..