Thanks for the responses! Some interesting points raised here.
Originally posted by Jay26
Hahahaha, I'm sorry but c'mon dude! Be realistic! What guy can do that? You're always going to want to hit it unless your some kind of asexual freak, so hanging around as her friend is just asking for trouble, I seriously doubt anyone but the most hardcore DJ could do it, why the fark would you want to anyway? Just for her friendship, is she THAT good a friend, I highly doubt it.
This only works if you really have ZERO interest in her, but since you didnt' b4 why would you now or in the future, I can just see a situation where the guy would fall for the girl 'friend'.
As for social proof, yes, it's good but your overrating it completely, it's not worth the little bit of social proof you'd get from this girl for the potential headache/heartache she's going to be.
So while nice in theory let's face it in real life, emotions, ego, feeling all these things will combine to fark it up. Harry meets Sally was right, men and women can't be friends if one of them is attracted to the other, it's never a true platonic friendship! It's what all the chumps need to realise!!! Don't act like a friend, be a man, get what you want or move on! Fark settling for a friendship if it's not what you want, if she rejects you why the hell would you want to hang around her anyway.
This seems to be a common viewpoint. Kinda raises 2 issues in my mind.
1) Aspire to be a true DJ
Okay, like I mentioned before, anyone with a fragile ego may not be able to deal with this "friendship" concept. But isn't one of the main premises behind the DJ concept to leave your ego behind? Be in control of your feelings? Turn any situation to your advantage?
If you can't aspire to these mindsets, then you're not aspiring to be a true DJ. I'm not saying I'm a master DJ, or even a greatly experienced one. But I aspire to be. I aspire to be free of any emotion that affects my reasoning. I believe it is possible. This is massively significant. I spent a year AFC-ing my way around Emma (4year ex) wishing I could have her back. NOW, I can really enjoy her company without being too bothered about the fact that she doesn't feel
that way about me. Sure, I still feel
that way about her, but I just remind myself that SHE is the fycking stupid one, and I am free to meet other girls.
So fine, if you can't deal with it don't do it. My advice isn't for you. If you think you can manage to rise above your ego, then you're thinking like a DJ. Turn that situation to your advantage.
2) LJBF is a bit too specific I guess
Why is LJBF too specific? Because I don't necessarily mean they have to utter the dreaded 4 words. Because yes, they might say it just to get rid of YOU, you big creep
! But if you have clicked with a chick conversationally, there just is some kind of sexual barrier (no mutual physical attraction, BF etc.). If you next them for whatever reason, pursue a friendship instead.
Of course it is possible to be platonic friends with a girl. I bet every emotionally stable guy on this board has close female friends. One of my best friends is a HB, and we've been friends for about 10 years. Sure there has been flirting over the years, but thats surplus to requirements. I have made other female who I hang out with. If it starts off with me trying to seduce them, then so what if they aren't interested in
that way? I'm not gonna throw a tantrum and NEXT them right out of my life like a big spoilt baby. Cuz I am mature enough to remember that it's their loss, and their friendship comes with benefits.
Being able to deal with it is empowering. Communicating with them is confidence building. Hanging around them is social proof. Their friends are hot too. They will introduce you to those hot friends....
And again, these chicks might feel left out and want a piece of the action.
If you can't deal with this scenario, then aspire to be able to deal with it. You'll be a powerful DJ.
