Living under the shadow of someone "better"

[Tha Realnezz]

What would I do?He slept with your woman,man..Your girlfreind..?I would kick both there asses.

He ain't your buddy.You might genuinley despise him.

But true story.I've econtourned or actually been that guy.Thing is when someone tells me to cut it out I do.This guy sounds like he'll keep on doing it till you kick his ass.

He's gonna keep on doing it,he thinks it's you don't have any love for these chics cuz you play it off.People aren't mindreaders you have to draw the line somewhere.

Tell him to cut the crap.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

The thing is that we have been real good friends the past 2-3 years and has helped me out more than he's wronged me. I'm really disappointed at him and felt really betrayed and can't trust nobody now.

I could really lose my temper and he will just know that he's always a few steps ahead of me. It could end up in a fight or may not. I don't want him ruined I just want to stand up for myself and put them in place but things could get ugly. I just want to sort things out the fair way. I dont wanna look like the ***** who cried foul though.

 

[Krassus]

You're ****ing LUCKY to have friends who are achievers! I need more friends like that! Quit whining dammit, you're surrounded by people who can both inspire and teach you. What more can a man ask for?

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Yea I know what you mean but what if those friends do not let you achieve?

 

[dig it]

Raging asian...

i too live in qld.

great place to be

Let me level with you, and go right to the core, champ.

You may try and deny what i am about to tell you, please dont.

You may try to get angry at me, but you would only be clouding the thing i am abuot to tell you.

You may try and knock me down and try and make me look bad, but i dont think that is you, and it would get in the way of making you better.

The thing i want to say to you is this:

snap out of it man! You are in a P*ussy trance!

Now listen. Stop playing the victim here. The one that likes to blame himself because he "suposedly" can't get better.

YOU are not the victim. Yet you are hell-bent on trying to be one.

I bet the moment you stop playing "lets blame others for what they are doing to me", will be the point you start to turn things around.

If instead of all this victim attitude, you adopted a "how can i?" attitude, i think you would go a long way.

3 things i want to say about your situation, and this is opinion.

1. You are better than you think you are, more capable than you are currently showing, more attractive than you give yourself credit for.

2. Girls get with guys they want to get with, somehow you missed out. That one in the story probably likes you, its just that she chose to be with the other guy....

3. So focus your efforts on improving yourself, and dont seek approval from your mates so much, dont do it for them, and you won't fall into the trap of being in the shadow......soon your shadow will match, and yes, even outstrip theirs.



I honestly think that you just need more experience, and more self belief, because i havnt heard of anyone walking up to you and calling you ugly recently....and another thing, i dont think anyone else is going to do the things that YOU need to do in order to be more successfl with women - even your best friends. They won't help. They are your peers, not your concience.

Out of all the girls there are, you will find some for you. Dont pay those others any attention, to do so will be wasting your time....time you could be using to focus on bettering yourself.

Good luck. By focusing on how to get somewhere, instead of blaming everyone for your lack of progress, you will eventually make the trip.. It begins now bro.

Dont let any mother f-er cheat you out of getting where you want to be...have respect for people and yourself....that means you dont even cheat on yourslef by allowing yourself to blame people for things that are not their fault....you sound better than that.

So they are better, you think?

Did you ever stop to think you might be just as good, if you just stopped sabotauging yourself.

cheers

Digit

 

[sexual_intellectual]

From now on, when you like someone, and have seen her first, let your friend know and tell him to respect that.

Then move.

If you fail with her, its your fault, work on your game. He can hit on her if you allow him. If you succeed, and he interferes with your success you break off contact with him.

Live like that, its simple and fair.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Dig it......You've got me good on that one. That is some awesome stuff.

Yes you are the victim if you let yourself become one.

Here are things that I can admit I'm guilty of:
1. Being Impatient
2. Lazy
3. Giving up and being put off really easily
4. BLAMING others lol.

But I do believe in mutual respect, BROS before HOS and being considerate. That is why I was annoyed in the first how he overstepped the mark. I just need to find a way to deal with him without getting things complicated.

But yeah now that I've got this down pat it makes a strong foundation to make changes. It may take a while but at least there is progress.

 

[dig it]

Way to go man.

Yes. I did not even address the other secondary issues you had.

And what sexual_intellectual said is what i would say most of us do.

I think that showing respect for a "target" amongst your peers is the right way to go about it.

I am the same. Sometimes i even get a feeling of having missed out when one of my friends points a pretty girl out to me and then i see him doing well with her....sometimes....but i know its a respect issue in any case and i deal with it and move on.

The best nights when we are winging is when he picks up a girl and i pick up a separate one from somewhere else in the room/place and then we get together.

Its spurs me on when i go out and find my mates have girls and i dont....but then its a case of not lowering your standards.

The other week, it was the opposite. I had my girl there and he had nowone....so i made a point of involving him in things because i asked him to come along. He picked up a lot of tips and pointers....i even got her to spot a girl for him and give him tips on how o get her.

This girl is cluey on her species.

**

With you perhaps you just didnt know the 'deal' that he had made with you (and didnt tell you).

Maybe you could outline this thing to him in some way about mutual respect without making him feel like a dumbass.

And those feelings you had....dont worry too much, its just natural (albeit unwanted) human behavior.

We live and learn - have to learn from our mistakes - and i have made plenty of mistakes.

Rock on