Rollo Tomassi said:
Lets say you knew a professional football player who'd been a quarterback for years, and one day he called you and asked if you'd fill in for him for a game because he was injured. He clears it with the coach and it's all good, you can play if you want to. Would you do it? Would you fill in as the lead role for Mac Beth in a theatre production even though you never had time to memorize the lines? Would you step into a boxing ring with Mike Tyson even though you've never tied on a pair of gloves in your life? Why not?
Confidence. You wouldn't be confident enough to consider these opportunities because you have no prior experience with them. I've used this as an example before, but look at damn near any and every "wish list" women have for potentially acceptable men on the dating profiles of any online service you like. Everyone will say confidence (or something to the effect) is a premium. Women want it, men know they need it, but neither sex really understand it.
Ok totally agree so far. Here you're saying confidence comes from experiencing success. This advice would be most applicable to high schoolers and virgins and people with no experience, postive or negative. But what about people who have experience but mostly only negative? They got into the ring with Tyson, they filled in for a QB, they went to a play, and they failed miserably. Wouldn't they be more in the hole confidence wise? What I'm getting at is too much plate spinning could have drawbacks.
The single most common question I get from the High School Forum members in PMs is "Rollo, how do I build my confidence?", "How do I express my confidence once I have it?", and "How do I know I have it?" Let me start by stating that Confidence is a higher goal that pussie ever should be. Vagina is a by-product of Confidence.
"Vagina is a byproduct of confidence", seems to suggest confidence comes from within, a "mentality", not from experiencing success. In other words, confidence causes plate spinning, plate spinning doesn't cause confidence.
So if the sole reason you want to achieve a stronger state of self-confidence is to get laid, you need to unlearn this mentality. AFCs can get laid, and men can always pay a hooker, but they will never have confidence.
Ok this is still consistent: getting women won't create confidence, but you also suggested at the end that you don't even need confidence to be successful.
Confidence comes from options, and recognizing one's personal value in having these options. This is the psychological aspect of Plate Theory. As VICTORY is so fond of saying "anything you can't walk away from makes you it's slave." To which I'll add my own, once again, "a man without options becomes necessitous, and necessitous men are never free." If you do not have the option to walk away from something - for a preferable option or the potential of one - you are dependent upon the only one you immediately have.
Now you're saying confidence comes from options. Isn't this inconsistent and contradictory from saying prior that confidence doesn't come from getting women? However, you also are implying you can get options before having confidence, so this part is consistent with your prior statement that you don't need confidence to get women. I want even getting into the point that Danger brought up that when walking away from HB9+ (or even an 8) it's just not that easy to have another 9 interested in you.
This is the Cardinal Rule of Relationships:
In any relationship the one with the most power is always the one who needs the other the least.
When you are not developing, exploring or even seeking out new options for yourself you become dependent upon the few or the one you have. Confidence comes from knowing you have concrete options and/or the self-reliance from prior experience that you have a proven ability to develop new options if you have none. This is the "I don't give a ƒuck" mentality I outlined in the original Plate Theory thread. It's far easier to have an "I don't give a ƒuck" attitude, when you posess the confidence to not actually give a ƒuck.
So confidence comes from successfully having options. Then confidence does come from getting women. Now if you have prior experience over time and in the recent past of getting success, then what's plate spinning got to do with it? You're confident whether you're actually spinning plates at the present time or not. It's a mindset and that's what Str8up and I have been saying.
WESTCOASTER and STR8 have both explored the "walk away" principle in several threads. Plate Theory is the essence of this. You will generate more respectability both from any woman involved and yourself if you have the confidence in to completely abandon a situation that doesn't meet your standards. This confidence to walk away comes directly from spinning plates, literally and figuratively.
You mean spinning plates succesfully in the past? So again confidence comes from having women. So you can "next" without having another plate actually spinning or not?
But the problem is most guys DON'T walk away. Why? Because they are necessitous and recognize consciously or unconsciously that they lack options and lack the confidence to develop more. This is where the practice of Plate Theory is helpful. They need to spin plates in order to generate this confidence. They need to know that they've done it before. They need to experience the success from having spun plates in order to KNOW they have options.
OK so again confidence comes from success with women. What guy hasn't spun plates? I'd say plate spinning for most men is neccessitous before they actually obtain an option, the spinning plates might or might not bring you more than one real option at a time but confidence comes from obtaining an option and being able to replace one option with another one if neccesary.
It just seems like you're saying if you're in fact actually successful with women then you'll be confident as long as you realize and believe that fact.
I just think plate spinning is what most every guy has to do to even get one real option.
