Living the last 7 years again in just 2 hours.

[Scars]

So I don't know what possessed/reminded me to do this, but I decided to log into my old myspace account. Primarily, the reason was just to see if anyone still uses it and if not shut it down completely. The account probably hasn't been logged into for almost 3 years, after facebook got popular it was completely abandoned.

Before deleting everything I noticed I had 67 unread messages. So I decided to take a look. Most of it was spam, some were comments I ignored years ago, and some were new. I started going through them, and then found myself going through old messages. Before I knew it, 2 hours had passed.

Let me tell you, it was quite an experience.

What was most interesting was reading messages from exs. I could actually go back and see the "development" of the relationship. I could go back and read our first messages together all the way up to the break-up. After awhile I started noticing a trend, and it became very easy just from reading the first few messages how the relationship would turn out.

Another interesting thing was reading conversations with girls I never dated, just flirted with. I saw a lot of missed opportunities that I am kinda kicking myself for, but it's all a learning experience. Some of the hints these girls would say I completely missed, and I don't know how I did.

Some of the better stuff is reading conversations where I was flirting and completely BOMBED. I can actually go back now and review the conversations and identify exactly where I screwed up.

All I know is it through me for a loop. And if you haven't already, and have the opportunity to go back and review an old account I definitely recommend it.

It was amazing to see my progress, failures, and development summed up in such a little time.

-Scars

 

[NewAndImproved]

Good post man. I did something similar when Facebook switched to timeline and I saw old wall posts and PMs... Went all the way back to 2005 when I was about to start college.

Realized I was never as bad as I thought I was with girls. Sure a lot of neediness in some of my messages, failed **** tests etc but not terrible. I wouldn't be where I was today without those experiences.

And yep, missed opportunities. There were girls that really tried, lol.

 

[MM92]

I also did this with Facebook a few weeks ago but on my old account. Messages from people who i'd not spoke to in years, it's strange how life moves on and people with it. I had some very cringey moments with girls which i'd luckily also forgot about until then. Strange how I could skim through and straight away pick up on where I was going wrong with certain girls. If only I had all the knowledge and skills I have now back then...

 

[sageproduct]

Scars, can you elaborate on trends you noticed between what the first few messages were like and how the relationship turned out?

 

[Scars]

Scars, can you elaborate on trends you noticed between what the first few messages were like and how the relationship turned out?

Sure.

For one, it was pretty easy to identify how interested they were in the beginning. The relationships that lasted awhile, or ones I considered "good" you could tell from the beginning. There was a lot more giving on her part. When the conversation would go stale a bit, she'd try to keep it going. They would use a lot of smileys, and were very flirty.

Other girls I actually had to "game". The "trend" I'm talking about is interest level. It seemed like any message I read I could identify how interested the girl was at any given time.

Some of the girls had very high interest and I missed the opportunity. There was several girls in there that I know without a doubt I could had fvcked, but for some reason I never did. I either waited too long, or the timing wasn't right.

Of course, the most interesting of this trend was reading the messages from my good 'ol BPD ex. The only messages I had to read was during our little "honey moon" stage. The stage at the very beginning, and low and behold, I could see her stealing my personality. She starts mentioning how she likes certain things that I like, music, books etc... What is also interesting was how she structured her messages like mine and was trying to talk like me. It wasn't that hard to figure out why I liked her and started dating her. She was very aggressive in her approach, and she told me everything I wanted to here. It was amazing see it now.

That was all I had to work with, eventually we moved to texting/calling full-time, so there was no way to see where things started going sour. There was a few red flags I probably missed, but nothing major. All that came out after I was already stuck in her web.

-Scars

 

[ArcBound]

Hindsight is 20/20...

 

[sageproduct]

Sure.

For one, it was pretty easy to identify how interested they were in the beginning. The relationships that lasted awhile, or ones I considered "good" you could tell from the beginning. There was a lot more giving on her part. When the conversation would go stale a bit, she'd try to keep it going. They would use a lot of smileys, and were very flirty.

Other girls I actually had to "game". The "trend" I'm talking about is interest level. It seemed like any message I read I could identify how interested the girl was at any given time.

Some of the girls had very high interest and I missed the opportunity. There was several girls in there that I know without a doubt I could had fvcked, but for some reason I never did. I either waited too long, or the timing wasn't right.

Of course, the most interesting of this trend was reading the messages from my good 'ol BPD ex. The only messages I had to read was during our little "honey moon" stage. The stage at the very beginning, and low and behold, I could see her stealing my personality. She starts mentioning how she likes certain things that I like, music, books etc... What is also interesting was how she structured her messages like mine and was trying to talk like me. It wasn't that hard to figure out why I liked her and started dating her. She was very aggressive in her approach, and she told me everything I wanted to here. It was amazing see it now.

That was all I had to work with, eventually we moved to texting/calling full-time, so there was no way to see where things started going sour. There was a few red flags I probably missed, but nothing major. All that came out after I was already stuck in her web.

-Scars

Very interesting indeed, that a woman's interest level in the very beginning is such a strong predictor of the strength of the relationsihp.

Perhaps it's a good idea to use that gauge of her interest level to determine what kind of relationship to pursue with her - traditional, open, casual, friends with benefits, etc.