Living "below your means"

[jhonny9546]

Men who adopt the ERE (Early Retirement Extreme) lifestyle seem to have a relaxed attitude toward social conventions and manage to find women who appreciate and support them beyond their perceived value in the dating market. In this niche, women appear particularly interested in building LTR.

The forum dedicated to this lifestyle is full of stories of people who, after failed experiences, mainly because of their attitude and wrong lifestyle, have found partners who share and support their life vision. The reference website is https://earlyretirementextreme.com/, which offers many interesting insights.

I'd like to know who among us lives below their means and has found a balance where your perceived value attracts women who genuinely appreciate your personality and lifestyle. I'm sure there are men who, after gaining experience in the dating world, have chosen a path not influenced by external pressures, but have instead created something that works for them, and which can trigger a "real" interest in women, since this type of thing is rare out there.

ps: this is like the FIRE movement, but applied on the lifestyle.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

I was an aerospace engineer. I walk dogs now because they are my passion.

Definitely not as rich as I could be, if I stayed in engineering but I love my job.

I feel people/women admire my outlook.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I live below my means because I am not overly interested in materialistic things.

I could go out and drive a flashy car or live in a really expensive house but I don't.

I'd rather spend that money on experiences and memories and traveling to places instead of on "stuff".

 

[plumber]

if really doing it, many others don't know your doing it. although that's not the point of doing it, its a decent way to evaluate.

this is very good for the inner self, not much feels better than freedom, .....not so good for attracting short term women.

 

[Smok1nAce]

I’m 34 and just starting the journey and plan to hopefully kick my feet up by 40.

I think the biggest thing is you don’t spend your money on peacocking so you shine isn’t as bright especially as young man.

I try and compensate by being healthy, having some muscle and being a salt of the earth man.

I feel like if you have something on the ball the worst thing you could do is give it up at a young age. Retirement at middle age is cool but working a decade more will probably give you a better life to retire into.

if your a multi millionaire at 25 that’s something but if your scrapping dimes together at 35 just to stay retired its insanity

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Men who adopt the ERE (Early Retirement Extreme) lifestyle seem to have a relaxed attitude toward social conventions and manage to find women who appreciate and support them beyond their perceived value in the dating market. In this niche, women appear particularly interested in building LTR.

My approach is contrary - man is built by force of nature for slaying issues, collecting trophies, acquiring rewards. Retirement is for old people - drained of lifeforce, broken by stress or health issues. If you feel you are out of energy to work more and you are near 40 years old, it means you are burning out - some ppl call it lifestyle as constant amount of mid-level stress in work is killing them inside but I am pretty sure that only part of "early retirement" plans are fuelled by choice of lifestyle w/o internal pressure of allowing yourself to submit to your fears of not being able to take it anymore and run for the hills of comfortable life, usually on the cost of money that were earned by one's parents (so much for succesfull early retirement stories).

Sure there are exceptions, but in overall a/a.

 

[jhonny9546]

My approach is contrary - man is built by force of nature for slaying issues, collecting trophies, acquiring rewards. Retirement is for old people - drained of lifeforce, broken by stress or health issues. If you feel you are out of energy to work more and you are near 40 years old, it means you are burning out - some ppl call it lifestyle as constant amount of mid-level stress in work is killing them inside but I am pretty sure that only part of "early retirement" plans are fuelled by choice of lifestyle w/o internal pressure of allowing yourself to submit to your fears of not being able to take it anymore and run for the hills of comfortable life, usually on the cost of money that were earned by one's parents (so much for succesfull early retirement stories).

Sure there are exceptions, but in overall a/a.

Explain better, your perspective is interesting

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Explain better, your perspective is interesting

I think we can all agree that females generally are more attracted to hunter types, not gatherer types and most thrill man feels in situations which are somewhat stressful to him (whether it is new experience, new date, new challenge, new achievement arising from challenging himself and his skills - the more unpleasant or difficult a challenge, the more it's worth in your eyes, but also in the eyes of female), females also feel more attachment to men that keep them somewhat stressed out about their interest level due to objective factors ("am I good enough for him? I think I am but I am not sure, he is constantly pursuing something - am I still important? He is sure a hard worker, it's bad, but...how to get more time with him?").

Now, in ancient times only person that had time to spend whole day with woman constantly was her elderly mother, her child, her slave. Man was not as much available, he was constantly all about his business which secured resources to household and kept issues at bay, and when he went back to home he demanded food, warm bed and his woman in this bed which he was usually granted as that is how things are in this dynamics - notice that argument like "sorry babe, I will not take care of children for the remaining part of a day, I am concentrating on my early retirement day plans" sounds weak when compared with "sorry babe, I have tons of work this week, I will help with children more since Mon, I know it's hard for you but it sure secure us a decent bonus which will help me take us for a nice holidays". The second argument also activates caretaker archetype in the female easily, while the first one is a lousy excuse and will just make her eyes roll. If you are available to female 24/7 you are more in imprinted dynamic of a slave or old woman than of man. Being less available to a woman creates attraction but the reason for being less available needs to be valid.

Also, your biological purpose as a man is not about having free/leisure time for yourself all the time or converting it fully to fun time. That's not why you are here. Most attractive men are always "doers".

 

[jhonny9546]

Also, your biological purpose as a man is not about having free/leisure time for yourself all the time or converting it fully to fun time. That's not why you are here. Most attractive men are always "doers".

Well, you could have many hobbies after work and that mean that people see You like a "doer".
Is not only about working on a job or something to make money off

but the reason for being less available needs to be valid.

It has to be valid in the eyes of the woman.
A friend of mine who is married with 2 kids, who spends the week at work and only has free time on the weekends to spend time with his family, actually makes plans to spend time away from home like going around the city, events, and other things, without his woman.
His woman goes shopping with her mother.
They hardly ever spend time together except for dinner at home in the evening, and breakfast in the morning.

They have no shared interests. He told me "If I didn't show that I was busy, I'm sure she would start bothering me"