Live My Life - Aastikya's Journal

[GetBetter]

Hello all,

I feel like writing a Journal and so here I am posting this. Moreover improve andbetngthen my weaknesses and get advise from you guys.

Here's little information about me:

Basic Info-

I am 16 years old and I live in India. This is the last year of me in school where Ive been studying for 5 years now.

I am an average looking guy and I have acne and scars caused due to them. I have started to lose hairs already yet I am trying different hairstyles and trying what I want to look good.
I am 5'10 tall and I weigh almost 70 kilos. I was shy of girls but not now after reading few articles.

My qualities I am proud of-

Before I state them let me tell you that even though I am aware of my traits I never considered myself better than others. Whenever I kicked nicely in soccer and my friends complimented I used to say that I wasnt that good but now I accept it and thank them.

1. I am versatile: Good at boxing, soccer, swimming, poem and story writing, dancing, and studies.
2. I can adjust myself for every situation.
3. I am friendly and can make friends easily.
4. I started earning small sums of money at this age which is something great in this country.
5. I am kind hearted.

Things I want to imorove-

1. Be better looking.
2. Be more confident and develop a charming royal personality.
3. Be a fun guy that everyone wamts to be with.
3. Some of my friends think of me as a retard, dumbass and what not. So I want to be smarter.
4. I dont express all of my feelings in school and talk much because I think what people will think of me but now I wouldnt care. *Sometimes I just feel some friends just talk nonsense and act like a kid; making fun of people and so and yet consider themselves as wisest and so I just dont speak at such times*
5. Find out my true passion.
6. At last, be a better son , brother and friend.

 

[GetBetter]

5th April 2013

Today I somehow managed to wake up for my boxing classes; I was so sleepy as I had slept at 3 am and woke up at 8 am. For tje same reason I didnt have intereat in boxing class today. Though I regained my enthusiasm once I started exercising.
Today a new guy joined the classes and I taught him how to exercise as ma'am asked me to do so as I am most experienced there; I used to do karate and WUSHU. I sweat and practiced hard for an hour and then went to gym which was right beneath the floor on which we boxed. I went and sit there just to cool down my body and hydrate it. While I was sitting I saw a girl exerxising . A thought of talking to her hit my mind but I ignored it as I really didn't find her attractive and didnt feel like talking to her. After that I left and came back home.

As I came home I turned on my PC and tried to make some graphics once again but couldn't for long as I didn't feel like doing it. I am pretty good at it though and one of my online friend says he is dieing to be as good as me at pixel art.

I went to my coaching class and came to know that the teacher who taught maths hadn't arrived because of which my friends and some girls were playing Killer-Detective game. One of my friends saw me and invited me but I declined and went to my other friend who was sitting alone. And this way I kicked another great opportunity out of my way...

Then during my another class I tried to fly my pen cap in the air as usual just for fun. The cap used to go up and then land randomly near someone and amuse them. We used to see the scene and laugh like mad people. But today the cap landed on a girls neck because of which she got surprised and turned. I regretted and so said sorry immediately and so she returned to her normal state. But her friend got angry and threw away the cap away..due to this I felt like apologizing again and using that as an opportunity to flirt as well. Bug again I didn't do so..

So today was an all miss-miss day for me, or precisely till now...

 

[Skyline]

But today the cap landed on a girls neck because of which she got surprised and turned. I regretted and so said sorry immediately and so she returned to her normal state.

Why didn't you flirt a little or be a little playful? Don't apologize, you just missed a chance.

But her friend got angry and threw away the cap away..due to this I felt like apologizing again and using that as an opportunity to flirt as well. Bug again I didn't do so..

Stop apologizing :nono: , people can see right through that as low-self esteem. Have some fun instead!

 

[GetBetter]

6th April


Today wasn't a great day as I did nothing special, moreover missedy boxing classes today. I also did something that I have started to regret
. I posted about some boys who liked fewcgirlsvon confession pages(a new trend in my city) die to which many mates raged over it. I guess I am diverting from my goal to be a better friend. Also I don't know why this doesn't feel right to me and this action of none will start a fight tomorrow. Let's see what happens...

On the other hand, me and my friends went to amusement park today to have some fun. As we entered we saw a huge crowd inside...it was bigger than any crowd I saw at such places. The good thing though, it was crowded with hot ties, most of them with their boyfriends. I saw many opportunities but missed intentionally(again)...because of which I want to add 'Cold Approaching' to my list of things I want to learn. But here's a good part too: I managed to make eye contacts with few chicks for few seconds. This made me feel good about myself. On top of this, I tried to smile, laugh and have as much fun as I could near girls

Today I also read few articles on being a charming personality and learnt that we should smile as much as we can, greet everyone with warmth and stay friendly. I'll try to adopt them as a habit. I also read about how to find my passion in life and what I want from life but nothing seemed to help me...
------------------------------------------------

I would like help of you guys with this at the moment:

1. Cold Approaching
2. Ways to find out my passion

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Reply to Frazer:

Why shouldn't I apologize even if sometimes it's my mistake? Also can u tell me how it could be handled in a fun way because I can't think of anything D:

 

[NorwegianDJ]

2:
Mastery by Robert Greene.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mastery_(book)
http://addicted2success.com/success...ssons-in-the-art-of-mastery-by-robert-greene/

Read the book.

 

[twentee]

relax, dude

you're a whole 16 years old. 10 years ago, you were still peeing your pants. You have nothing to worry about for at LEAST another 10 years, even if you never even get KISSED in that period of time.

 

[GetBetter]

8th May

Silly me I've been writing April all these days...anyways...these days seem all the same as I am doing nothing great. Yet I have few things to share:

Today while I was on facebook I saw one of my school friends online. She had told me about her breakup because she wanted to get in relationship again only if she wound true love and now wanted to concentrate on her studies.

So today suddenly an idea came into my mind to use the same subject as an opportunity to flirt:

Me: Lots of guys must be chasing you now
Her: Why?
Me Eh?
Me: Because you just had a break up and you are cute.

Then I ended the chat by saying that I had to go even before she replied.

I think I just shown shy nature by ending up the conversation too soon? I didn't even take her number even though she's a friend.

Also I went to my dermetologist and he said that my skin has almost recovered from acne and will just need some vitamin treatments to become great. This news is quite great for me as I've been visiting him for almost two years now.

While I was wandering with my friends tonight we talked about our old memories and how they put a smile on our faces. My friend had lots of such stories to share while I didn't remember many or maybe I didn't create many which made me question myself if I am really a fun guy. I haven't done anything which I will recall and laugh at myself in future. Maybe its because I don't let my emotions out...because I kind of think what people will think of me.

Also from now on I'll try to approach as many girls as possible, but single hot chicks walking alone are so hard to find. Or maybe that's an excuse I keep telling myself...I shall read few articles on approaching girls who are with their female friends...

Or maybe I shall concentrate on studies as according to teachers this year's exam will either make us or break us....

From studies I remember about that book named Mastery, Norwegian DJ suggested me. At first I couldn't even get past through first few pages as I found it boring but as I forced myself to read it I started to learn some very important things that'll definitely help me discover some important stuff about me and about my career.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Ugh. NO MORE ONLINE FLIRTING. Its too easy, only pull a line like that IN PERSON. When you're online you can use the screen as a shield, man up and start cold approaching.

 

[GetBetter]

Okay so this time the journal is pretty random...

10th May:

Okay so I am somewhat confused and frustrated with all these days being the same...I really need to find friends who are actually fun because as I get to know more people and know them close I realize no one is really happy from life and many are just faking it...



I need to find my passion soon as well. As I've been reading Mastery it made me ponder about my career and my life. Maybe my life lacks passion atm becuz of which I am not much happy. Somewhere I had read that happiness is created by the way you think but it might not be true as you end up creating fake one...and so I am giving importance to finding passion. In the book it said you know passion since the time you care born. Due to this I thought of my childhood and thought of what I liked most and came to two conclusions:
1. I liked to try new things, be it friends, games and other activities.
2. Coming up with a new idea for robot when ever got inspired by a movie or anime show.

I am going to try both and see what I enjoy more.

I feel like getting popular and do something big..


Now it comes to looks:
* I am going to a hairstylist soon
* I got my facial hair trimmed for a fresher and cleaner look.

Today my friend came to know a girl liked him but no girls recently said so about me because of which I felt jealous. And so me andy another friend went for a walk where we chatted and I came to know that I look rather average guy...I know I stated it already but whenever I hear so I lose lil confidence...

I know looks don't matter much but charm, confidence and how you think of yourself do. That's why I keep thinking of myself as someone great, can doing so be a problem?

Also at my boxing classes a girl who trains with me and my friend keeps looking and me and smiles when I smile. I think she likes me. But she's three years younger than me and I don't like her at all. What shall I do?

I also decided that I'll try to flirt with a girl at my coaching but she's always with her friends and I am not even sure if I can flirt in front of all her friends...Maybe you guys can help once again?

Last of all things today, I completed Fifteen Lessons by Look and felt great, happy, super confident but all of such feelings faded away slowly...Why is it so? Why do such feelings last for few mins?

 

[GetBetter]

14th May

All these days are going great though nothing great happened.

Woke up at 6 today and went to plat soccer with my friends. After that went for boxing. Since it was my last day of mothly programme I just had fun there.

I got a new hairstyle yesterday which I like pretty much. i uploaded it on facebook and got 43 likes till now while my previous pics got only like 30 or so likes.

Also my tution class owners have declared a 15 day holiday which made the day even merruer as we can chill even more! I am going to use this free time more for pixelart and studies though...at least more than usual.

After I came home from tutions Ankush(my friend) called up and said something which started me and made me laugh:

Him: Dude do you remember Pratika(a girl)

Of course I remembered her. We used to study at same place last year. She is the one who liked me and I came to know this through Ankush and Himanshu...

Me: Yeah what about her?

Him: She still likes you.

Me: What?!?

Him: Yrah, she says she likes your style and the way you talk.

I laughed instantly because he said the shole thing in a way as if he was offering her hand to me for marriage lol. Moreover we didnt talk much last year then too she likes my style of talking...because I wasnt confident but now I am a lot confident.

Him: Dont laugh! And dont be shy, lol. Let me know if you want to hook up.

I literally laughed hard. Also I dont know what to do...I dont like heruch thougj she looks olay...but she's hella rich!

I guess I am turning into a lady killer already because a few days ago me and Chayan(my buddy) planned to pay a visit to his friend Aastha(a girl who is now my friend too). He called her through my phone due to which she asked later:

Her: Is this your number?
Me: Yeah.
Her: But this isnt what I saw at your FB profile(giggles and breaks the eye contact). I think she was showing interest too?

Also I was watching a documentary on YouTube named The Secret: Law of Attraction which says that what you think attracts ehat you think about; think negative attract negative, think positive attracg positive. And so from now on Ill think positive and consider myself:

I am Happy
I am Adventurous
I am Fun
I am Flirty
I am LadyKiller
I am A great person
I am Awesomely attractive and sexy

Lets hope I become so jusg my thinking so.

Tomorrow we going again for soccer. Its going to be great day tomorrow

 

[GetBetter]

I guess this is just getting more and more random....I shall set up daily goals and punishments for not acheiving those goals. Suggest few punishments I can give myself.

Daily Tasks to complete:

Task 1:

A. Study for at least an hour.
B. Spend some time with family!
C. Cold Appfoaching: Approach at least one girl tomorrow otherwise...[punishment].

Okay I cant think of good punishments but I guess Ill sleep early if I dont complete these tasks!

 

[GetBetter]

Yeah so I havent been posting because I didnt really want to post until I made a cold appraoch....and tbh I havent made one yet! I am just kinda fed up because of low boys vs girls ratio! And even more because I dont see any HB walking down the street or mall all alone...she walks either with her boyfriends or her female friends. And when such a situation arrives I just cant figure out how to strike a conversation with both the girls and keep it going but in my head I just plan up how the convo had started up with just one of them girls.

Today me and my friends went to watch a movie and oh man...the place had sexy beauties. During the interval/ intermission I saw few HB 8+ with great style and sexy figure but they were with males or their female friends because of which I didnt go and strike up a convo...

I asked my friend to make go and make moves but they all just looked at me and smiled because it isnt that easy here nor any of us had that much guts...I really need a wingman right now...

Also today while we were a MC Donalds I saw a girl looking at me and as soon as I caught her se looked away...I wonder why do they do it. Anyways I just kept staring her and she looked twice at me but damn I didnt even smile at her.. I really need to practice smiling. Again I didnt make a move because of the same reason I mentioned above.

I am still happy though because now I can gaze into a girls eyes without any fear and U catch them looking at me too. Maybe this is all because of No Fap challenge? Completed four days today. But because of this my armpits have started sweating too much?
------------------------------------------

Okay tell me how to start convo with two girls?
-------------------------------------------

About the task I completed both except the cold approaching part so feeling good. Made a time table today according to which Ill work. I will share it tomorrow when I get back on PC.


EDIT: Pimples and acne seem to return since the No Fap challenge and they seem to just get worse...I already have treatment going on....I hope itll soon go away or reduce at least...

HELP NEEDED!

 

[GetBetter]

So today me and my friend just went for a walk and we saw four chicks wearing sexy clothes. They roamed and got past us many times because of which we thought of approaching them but **** it! We didnt...and spent almost two hours thinking of what to speak, what to say and who will start a convo... damn man...I am improving very lil...I feel that if I see one girl alone I can easily hit up a convo by approaching otherwise I cant...Maybe Ill read some articles and hit convo with those four girls tomorrow.

Maybe I shouldnt waste this much time on girls but Pixel Art and earning. Also about my passion...I like posing infront of camera, I like pixel art, I like roaming and trying new things. Due to this I am confused and not sure ehatcI am really passionate about. Tomorrow I am going to spend whole day with myself and ask and answer few questions to myself and try to find passion.

Completed a week of no fap challenge!

 

[Nino-Tk]

Hey bro, don't spend time thinking of what to say, you might have an elaborate detailed plan about how a convo will pan out and be dumbstruck when you actually get there and it doesn't turn out that way. Dive in, literally, get there and just pop out the first thing that comes to your mind ,often you'll find out that the more cutesy you try to be with your openers the more the interaction goes south.

Good to see a fellow no-fapper, I'm on day 24 or 23, I don't count but I know that from May, I haven't had any self-indulgence or porn. Stay strong brother.

 

[GetBetter]

@Nino-Tk Thanks for reply and help dude.

I read Nino's latest post yesterday and decided to apply that 3 second rule today but luck wasnt with me as I spent an hour again trying to see chicks but didnt find anyone approachable...I WASTED AN HOUR GODDAMMIT! Now no more...I am going to just do what I like and if I find any girl in that period instead of going out everyday in search of chicks...

Also the same day I completed a week of no fap challenge I fapped and being doing so ever since...WTF!

Today I've set an important goal in my life though:

Earn $600 or by the end of this year!

I am doing so because I want to take my family to a good tour. And so from now on only hard work and put everything else aside...

Also, today I came to realize that people who show their passions to the world get famous moreover who are into the outdoor kinda things are more popular(talking about my lil bro here who is into stunts). Idk but because of his talent being shown to people who live nearby consider him talented and as I do Pixel art which isnt shown to everyone I am not considered talented by many.

Well maybe what I think of myself matters more than what others think...

Also today I went to a friend - a girl. I usually dont talk much amd even less to girls and hence when I went to her house I did have a good convo but I didnt feel I was being open to her. Like I wasnt really being free...I smiled she smiled maybe just to be nice or w/e.

If this is the case with a friend then what if I start liking a girl...

So points to remember:

1. Dont waste your time on girls.
2. No Fap challenge
3. The Ultimate Goal: $600

 

[GetBetter]

Hey guys how are you all doing?

My days are going good. It really feels great to have a goal plus having a desire to do something big, I am just feeling restless but all in a positive way. I am feeling a flame burnimg inside me. In past three days I ve earned 20$!

Also I have started watching naruto again and started taking seriously because the author is so genius...the way hw puts and teaches us is just amazing. Today I was watching fight between Pain and Naruto through which I learned Fights and revenge dont mean anything but forgiveness, it brings you true peace. Due to it some weird ideas of having something like Akatsuki in real life has been hitting me... A desire to do something beyond what normal people do and has meaning.

Going crazy huh?

Points to Remember:
1. Always have a goal in life, you will feel more lively than ever. A sense of calmness spreads over.
2. Dream big, have desires.
3. Learn to forgive, not through words but from heart.

 

[GetBetter]

Hello all,

I haven't been posting for some days now because I went on a tour to Leh, Ladakh.

The place is extremely beautiful, the mighty mountains, the pollution free environment and what not. The place was awesome. Moreover due to the cool atmosphere, girls had a natural blush because of which they looked cute and the girls with 0 figure looked extremely sexy!

As I was on a vacation I had planned that I'd enjoy it as much as possible but the family being with me, I couldn't do much. Friends are a must if you want a superb vacation. I wanted to approach few girls as I wanted to enjoy as much as possible but again family...

Although I learned few things from the tour:
1. Nature is full of surprises.
2. It makes you strong.
3. It's easy to make friends.
4. People are eager to tell about their stories to you.
5. Girls have various radars!

About the 5th point, I was walking down the street through the market of Leh, where I spotted a super sexy HB9, asian looking girl. She was definitely older than me yet I just kept staring her as I wanted observing her. I was far away and I was sure she wouldn't know but to my astonishment, she came to know I was looking at her! And then...we made an eye contact cuz that's all we could do.

Although on the Airport, I was at a shop where the shopkeeper was really beautiful - HB 7.5-8 My cousins and my aunts were at the store looking at the stuff and so I went there too. I kept looking at the stuff even when all others left. And I wanted to chat and speak to her and so I applied few things I learned making some friends(just comment on anything related to their work etc). Due to that she saw me as a friendly person and I asked her to show me some things and then we started chatting. It went pretty good.

She shown me some unique mugs on which we chatted etc. Then she asked why I wear a lot of rings and then I made fun of myself(not sure if it was right) by saying that I wanted to be like XYZ Star. She laughed and then I told her why I worn those rings, but I didn't compliment her or ask for her number of Facebook profile...well that's a lesson to be learnt from this I guess.. Overall, I realized that I've lost the fear of talking to girls, and it's not at all hard to talk to them. They are eager to tell you about them.

Well, I am now back home and so I have to concentrate on my goal: $600.

And that's all. Now,

Points to Remember:

1. It's really easy to make friends. You just have to start a conversation by commenting about their work, or anything that you feel will be genuine.
2. Confidence, enjoyment, and calmness adds to the chances of making friends even more easily.
3. Girls have various radars, use them in your favor.
4. Nature and adventures make you happy. Have them in your life as much as you can.
5. People are eager to be friends and tell about themselves!

 

[GetBetter]

Hey guys how are you all? Anyways...I am not posting much because I didnt have much to say. Here are few things though that instead of elaborating I am going to summarize:

1. Devoting lots of time to Pixel Art so that I can complete my daily goal of earning $5. And I am pretgy haapy to complete this goal almost daily.

2. Been chatting with a friend( girl whom I barely talk to ) and I think I got her interested in me. I teased her a lot over chats. She asked me a question but I didnt answer her but kept teasing instead. And then I asked
Me : What will I get if I answer?
Her: Anything you want.
Me: You sure, dont regret later saying that.
Me: I was planning to go somewhere, have romantic talks and then a kiss, because I knoe u are interested!

To that unexpectedly she didnt answer no(that interest thingy) but did say that we coudd go somewhere but nothing else. After that she called me because I had said I was joking.

3. Tried alchol for the first time yesterday. One of the worst things I ever tasted lol...I want to try Vodka someday.

4. School finally starts again...the first day was so ****ing boring but I should have positive thinking.

5. Tomorrow going to flirt with two girls who interest me a little amd maybe the above menyioned friend , FACE TO FACE! Lets make school interesting tomorrow...

Points to remember:

1. The 600$ Goal.
2. I shall stay positive and try to enjoy whatever I am presented with.

 

[GetBetter]

Okay so I am just posting right now because I am pretty much embarrassed:

I was leaving after paying money at the juice center when two sexy looking girls got there. I thought of talking to her but I just couldn't....I just kept thinking of what to say! ****ing APPROACH ANXIETY! And then when I gained enough confidence to go and just say hi to her, those two pretty girls had already left! WTF! And so for the first time I really regret not approaching a girl and then for the first time really getting embarrassed!

I should forget about this? **** no! I won't, instead I have learned a lesson! I'll try to hit the same girl again because I am damn sure she'd visit that shop again...

Moreover, my friend I told you guys about that she might be interested in me... She and Me are going to Dominos, just me and her...Idk but I get a feeling she's really interested but I am not much interested.

Tomorrow, definitely going to flirt in my free time! **** the world!

 

[GetBetter]

Hey guys,

I have got nothing much to say...these days are going just okay really. And I am doing nothing really...School started and is sucking all my energy.

Although, the pass outs and the current seniors are arranging a party and being a senior I am going as well. Making party an excuse I talked to one girl, and tried to get her number. To which she replied she didn't have a mobile phone....Well doesnt really hurt me

I still cant get confidence to talk to a stranger girl though...lets see what happens if I try today.