Little respect at school

[sstype]

If any one is in this situation you know how it feels.

Perhaps you started working out or changed your attitude or behavior so you became more mature.

You weren't desperate for that "one girl" anymore.

You stopped being needy towards your friends. You began to assert your independence.

And yet, at school. The level of respect you recieve is still substandard.
Attractive girls still dont even notice you.
"Popular" guys continue to scorn you for no reason.

You are still looked down upon. Even with your newfound strength and confidence, they still see the old you.

They still see the wimpy, unattractive, poser kid from four years ago.

Outside of school, its different. There is more respect from those who dont attend your school. But you can't seem to loosen up because you feel like they are just like the kids at your school. Arrogant, unforgiving, and disrespectful(subtly or overt)

This is my problem. I am not unconfident
nor desperate, nor needy, but I am frustrated at the double standards game being played in my school.
Guys showing RESPECT towards their friends, yet scoff whenever you interact with them. And so forth......

I am in a bulking phase right now. Doing it for many reasons. I am tired of being skinny.

Those of you who say "well im skinny and i get props all the time, its all about the attitude man" NOT TRUE.
There are exceptions out there. I see them at my school all the time. Circumstances like family background, connections, and a pre-existing social circle conveys their status well enough.

Im tired of being viewed as weak and undeserving of any respect.

Feel free to share your experiences and what you did to cope with this rut

 

[ulfar]

I had the same problem. Don't try to be their friends again, just find new people. Look for people a grade lower, and I bet there is a good amount of people who don't know who you are in your grade.

But i picked a fight with one of the kids that was pissing me off. He was in the "popular group" and i took care of it.

I would not recommend this if you have never been in a scrap before or cant hold your own ground. I went from 45%bf 225 to 18%bf 210 in 2 years. And I have been training rugby and martial arts.

I couldn't bench 100 lbs when i started now I'm pushing out 300. I have consumed these forums like it was water and I figured that everybody was a DJ underneath all the bs. I just detached my self and when i look at my self now I'm successful. I'm dating a model in the school and I have allot of respect from everybody. Even if they dont like me.

 

[Jay-X]

i myself am in that same exact situation, but i don't wanna ditch my old friends... it's not their fault if they know me as an afc, it's mine

 

[McKindley]

Just because you have changed your mindset doesn't mean that everyone is going to notice right away. If you're a hip guy people are going to pick up on it after a little while. That is assuming that you want to be held in high esteem with the popular crowd.

Do you get beat up? Made fun of constantly? What exactly is the situation? Is it just a matter of no one notices you? Or are they actively doing you wrong?

About the girls, are you actively trying to flirt with them, or are you assuming that since you have changed your mindset that they will all of a sudden want you?

Try flirting with them; if they aren't accustomed to it they probably won't outright laugh at you. It might take them off guard, but they might be responsive to it. Give it a shot. (I'm sure you understand I mean don't start off trying to flirt with the popular girls who are dating the entire football team, right?)

 

[sstype]

Originally posted by McKindley
Just because you have changed your mindset doesn't mean that everyone is going to notice right away. If you're a hip guy people are going to pick up on it after a little while. That is assuming that you want to be held in high esteem with the popular crowd.

Do you get beat up? Made fun of constantly? What exactly is the situation? Is it just a matter of no one notices you? Or are they actively doing you wrong?

About the girls, are you actively trying to flirt with them, or are you assuming that since you have changed your mindset that they will all of a sudden want you?

Try flirting with them; if they aren't accustomed to it they probably won't outright laugh at you. It might take them off guard, but they might be responsive to it. Give it a shot. (I'm sure you understand I mean don't start off trying to flirt with the popular girls who are dating the entire football team, right?)

It's not really bad, like I am getting beat up. I am 163 at 5' 10" so physical disrespect is not a problem.

I can sense I am being looked down upon.

9th grade was pretty bad for me. I was puny and insecure, and got laughed at couple of times. I had no one to back me up, so pretty much anyone who had a social group could put me down and get away with it. Fighting back would have done nothing.

fast forward four years

I have been evolving my mindset ever since then to become a more mature, masculine, human being. I am working out, eating healthier.

About girls: I do not do the whole flirting thing. And here's why; I see the "popular" guys. Their attitudes and their body language. You see him with a hot chick walking down the hallway. Does he always crack jokes, C&F and is always touchy-feely on her? NO, he talks to her maybe jokes around a little and that is it. They are confident enough where they do not need to do any of that to impress her. It is all about vibe.

So, I emulate the same attitude. I just do not have the social proof to back me up.

After I posted this I found another post about a guy who had the same problem as I. Eventually he got sick and tired of the bull he was recieving and moved to the city . There he found what he wanted; a social circle, a great job, and lots of beautiful women. He came back to his old town one time. Everyone had seen how he changed and now they all loved him.

Fickle, we human beings are.

 

[TyTe`EyEs]

Originally posted by sstype
what you did to cope with this rut

I graduated.

 

[JSH]

SStype: you need to read some of the information that you have absorbed again. What you currently want is to be popular in school and get a girlfriend, that is relatively easily accomplished.

I sugggest that you go and read some HELP ME posts in the Discussion Forum and the Mature Man forum and see those people who never learnt and are still in a rut. They emulate those that they see getting girls, but it never works for them, as it is not truly them.

You are emulating, you are attempting to capture someone elses spirit, that does not work. You are an individual, make full use of that. I don't believe that you understand girls. They do what and act the way they do because they are popular, that did not make them popular.

The point of things like C & F and kino (what you refer to as touchy feely) is to raise the interest of the girls in you. If you do not have the social status which lets you just use "the vibe" (in reality, girls just want to be popular and cool as well and therefore give up their body to someone that they see will make them cool and "popular") then you use kino to gauge interest. You approach picking the girl up differently as your situation is different.

Flirting is great, don't knock it. In addition i bet that the "popular" guys (who you so want to be) flirt. They do so in a less visible way, they do not need to do so in school, they can do it at their parties. I bet that the girls laugh at these "popular" guys and their comments, i bet the guys grope and tease and prod and finger them.

Its a vicious circle, a to get a good looking gf you need to be "popular", to be "popular" you need to date a girl from a certain clique.