Little confusion after reading Book of Pook

[SeeThruIt]

Ok so one section that really stood out and changed my perspective was the one about viewing yourself as "the great catch/prince" that women compete for.

It hit home with how it changes your qualities/actions.

But here's the confusion, isn't it a little contradictory that you view yourself as the prize yet you're taught to pursue? I mean doesn't pursuing give the woman the sense that she's the prize?

Initially reading that I internalized it as, ok I'm the prince let women chase me but then I was reminded how women almost never chase and the guy has to initiate dates. But that makes me feel powerless in terms of this see yourself as the catch lesson.

Thoughts?

 

[n52]

I would say there's two different types of chasing...There's chasing endlessly until you look like a beta and there's chasing, getting rejected/disrespected and having enough self respect to know you are worth more than that and walking away. I wouldn't consider walking up to a female, gauging her interest number closing and getting a date as 'chasing' I would consider 'chasing' constantly being the one who asks for dates etc.

 

[TheException]

Good topic. A lot of things in "game" are contradictory. Think of it as "Ying&Yang"

-Leader yet indifferent
-****y yet humble
-Outgoing yet Laid back
-Fearless of striking up a conversation yet lets women chase him

So you see both being "the prize" and "letting women chase" apply. Its just like "attraction & rapport". You need BOTH to create a mutually beneficial relationship. You must not be afraid to go up to women(and men) and strike up conversations....but you also cannot be NEEDY and be constantly blowing up women's phones. Sitting back and "letting the cake bake in the oven" is sometimes best.

 

[SeeThruIt]

Yes the way I viewed it as chasing is texting/initiating a date. I feel just texting a woman is going to make her feel as she's the important one/the "prize"

So how can you view yourself as the catch if actions like that would show otherwise since she's most likely used to being asked out, texted?

 

[jafyk]

It's really about creating an impression. You can have an air about you that says "This guy is not to be trifled with". Yet in reality you may not be that strong. Still coming off that way accords you respect and maybe even fear.

In the traditional sense of men and women. Women don't chase overtly because it goes against the norm. Which is why men chase (approach). However, in today's world where people are under the illusion of equality women in rare cases chase men overtly. Covertly, women chase men by giving signals (IOIs). Some are more blatant about it than others. Most men can't read the signs but when they become expert at reading it. It's like "WOW, she really wants me". So, he does the traditional thing by approaching her. Once that contact has been made a man can now through his actions let the woman chase him (calling, texting him, asking him what his plans are or dropping all the other hints). Which is why the more less interested a man seems the more she pursues (trying to get his attention subtly or with drama).

Still, I've heard women who say, "No guy ever asks me out bla bla" or they go out to a social event and just sit there hoping for a guy to come ask them out. To myself I'm thinking (of the woman) you dumbfvck make the move. You don't have to announce to a man "Hey I want you" but you could easily start a conversation with him or compliment him and if he's interested he will reciprocate. It's annoying how a woman sits there looking pretty and thinking that's just enough to be boring and stylish. Ugh!

 

[Mike32ct]

I would say there's two different types of chasing...There's chasing endlessly until you look like a beta and there's chasing, getting rejected/disrespected and having enough self respect to know you are worth more than that and walking away. I wouldn't consider walking up to a female, gauging her interest number closing and getting a date as 'chasing' I would consider 'chasing' constantly being the one who asks for dates etc.

^This. As the prize, you give her an opportunity by approaching her. But you don't chase.

Get the number (or makeout or lay) and go from there. Use a one or worst case two strike rule if she flakes.

I like the way AJ says it, "Put your bid in."

 

[SeeThruIt]

Great replies but still, here's how I see the dynamic and the shift:

You come across/have the vibe as the prize. Approach woman, exchange numbers. She's thinking (if you have the right vibe) wow he's a catch.

You then contact her, she sees unconsciously as now SHE'S the prize because you're trying to advance on her. Now she feels more empowered because yeah you seem like a catch but you're pursuing her. I feel it creates a shift in the dynamic.

When I try to internalize the I'm the catch theory, I think of it as to continue the momentum maybe do this approach: Talk to girl, hand out your number in a cool/indifferent way. If she contacts you then reply with an immediate date idea as if you're assuming that's why she reached out.

Thoughts?

 

[bukowski_merit]

Just because you contact her first - that should not mean you're after her.

The way I frame it is: I am screening the woman to figure out if she'll be fun or not. I KNOW i can offer her more fun than most guys can; I'm looking to figure out if SHE can do the same for me. And believe it or not - lots of women can't.

So it can only be chasing if you are actually chasing her. I prefer to look at it as us building an experience. And my first contact to her is the offer, and all contact after that is done with 2 questions echoing in my head: "Can she keep up?" and "Does she sound fun?"

I think you can't fully understand it until you really have an abundance mentality.

 

[Die Hard]

Watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=129kuDCQtHs&t=2m10s

* HE is the PRIZE
* HE approaches HER.

No arguing there, right?

Now suppose he asks her for her number... Do you think there would be a shift in the dynamic between them after that? Would she suddenly think that SHE is the PRIZE instead of him, because he asked for her number?

NO...

Now suppose she gives him her number and he calls her up the next day, asking her if she wants to go out with him... Do you think there would be a shift in the dynamic between them after that? Would she suddenly think that SHE is the PRIZE instead of him, because he asked her to go out with him?

NO...

He was the PRIZE when he approached her, he would still be the PRIZE if he had asked for her number and he would still be the PRIZE if he had asked her out the next day. Even though all of those things constitute what you call 'pursuing'. And trust me, SHE would still think of him as the PRIZE too, even if he does those things, there would not be a shift in the dynamic.