Listening to her problems (BF)?

[Santos]

Hey guys

I'm posting about my friend\make-out buddy again. She cheated on her BF (of one year) with me, nothing serious just a kiss that lasted 30 secs. He never found out about it. He knew about me and wanted her to stop seeing me. They had a fight so she continued to hang out with me behind his back (we never did anything more than what "friends" would do).

He found out about it and they broke up. So me and this girl fool around for about two weeks, on and off. Just making out (heavily). She says she doesn't want anything serious cos' she just got out of a LTR and doesn't want to get hurt. Then her and her BF get back together for a week and now they broke up again. Again me and this girl fool around.

Anyway, I'm aware she's on the rebound and I'm just a piece of ass to her (LOL ). We have become good friends and she talks to me about a lot of stuff. Normally listening to a girls problems is supposed to be a bad thing, but despite this she's still attracted to me. She'll say "I just want to be friends" and then the next time she sees me she flirts and we fool around. This has happend about 5/6 times.

Last night we went out to this party (her BF broke up with her that night for a second time) and she got totally drunk. She didn't want her parents seeing her like this so I took her to my place to sober up. She was hurling an awful lot (what a turn on, knew I wasn't gonna get any ). She was crying and *****ing about "men" and I can see she's really hurt by this break up. I feel sorry for her.

Hopefully I don't have oneitis, we've know each other for about 2 1/2 months. But we REALLY know each other. Spent hours on the phone talking, and at her place. And, of course, making out. Spent a lot of time together. We're practically best friends, but the attraction is there. She's on the rebound so it's a bad idea for me to get involved in a serious relationship. At the same time there's a serious possiblity I could get laid, and I REALLY wanna lose my virginity - why not with someone I can trust? I don't really know what to do.

Advice/comments/suggestions?
Any of you been in similar situations?

Thanks for reading
Santos

 

[( . )( . )]

come on santos mate
you talk to this chick for hours about her problems and bf problems no less, you havent banged her ( make out buddies ? blaaaah)

I feel sorry for her.

I need a bucket

dare i sayEMOTIONAL TAMPON

looks like a duck, sounds like a duck

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by ( . )( . )
come on santos mate
you talk to this chick for hours about her problems and bf problems no less, you havent banged her ( make out buddies ? blaaaah)

I think I could have banged her last night, but then she got waaay to drunk. She was sitting on my lap, grinding me, then she whispers in my ear "You wanna **** me?". She tried to put her hands down my pants, but I stopped her (ouch ). I've just had an op to correct a tight foreskin (posted in health forum) so I can't have sex for like a week.

I'm glad she got drunk cos' I seriously think she wanted to fvck me, and she doesn't know I've had the op (a little embarassing, you know?) I'm sure the chance should come up again, and hopefully by then I'm healed. I'm sure if we do **** it'll just be her revenge on her BF, but who cares as long as I get laid .

 

[becker]

Here's the typical situation where you have theory overcome by reality.

In theory, you're not supposed to sit and listen to the BF problems, etc. of a girl. Why? Because supposedly she'll never see you as anything other than a "friend" if you do. Well, there are exceptions to this, as shown in this situation here. In my experience, it really all boils down to how secure the guy is. A girl seems to sense when a guy likes her, and is listening to her problems because he likes her. The way they can tell is that the guy who likes her will be there EVERY time she has a problem and offer his comfort and advice. He will also tend to err on the side of breaking the couple up rather than really preserving the relationship. You can listen to a girl's problems, but don't be doing it too often. In moderation won't hurt you, it will help since then you can give and take away, which creates a little mystery and makes her wonder why you're not always there.

Santos' case here shows that just because a girl tells you her problems and you listen, it doesn't mean she isn't attracted to you. She could very well be holding back because she has a BF. In general, unless she's just a total ho, she won't jump into the sack with another guy if she's in a serious relationship. It's up to you increase the attraction to the point where she dumps him for you, that's all.

 

[drixsa]

this is a f-buddy with baggage

chances are shell be cold one day hot another

but you are just makin out?

take that sh!t to the next level or take yourself out

 

[Santos]

I don't call every day. Heck, last week I didn't call her once and she ended up calling me. She started moaning abou how she never hears from me. So I'm not really always there and she is constantly trying to guess what I'm up to. Also, I've always kept the sex talk with her since we met. It worked wonders. I suppose physical attraction helps too.

She doesn't talk about her BF and their problems that much. Most of the time it's other problems in her life. She seems to call me, or hang out with me to feel better about the situation. I asked her yesterday how she felt about the break-up and she said she didn't want to talk about it.

Well, drixsa is right about the hot/cold thing. She hasn't said anything about what we did on Saturday...but I'm expecting the usual - "It was a mistake, just wanna be friends..blah, blah, blah." Then she will start flirting again in a few days...

Sometimes it seems she just wants to be PHYSICAL (hate it when they want me for my body ). But then on Saturday, she was holding my hand, and giving me affectionate kisses on the cheek, etc.

Don't have time to sit and figure her out, so I just let things happen. And try to ensure I'm still a challenge, even if she is supposedly a "friend". Perosnally I think I got LJBFed so I'd stick around while she chose between the BF and me.

Santos

 

[-dM]

Originally posted by Santos
Hopefully I don't have oneitis...

Judging by the amount of threads you have started about this one chick I think it's safe to say you have a one-itis on your hands. Did you try and hook up with any of those girls from the 21st you were going to? Or did you spend the whole night with the *ahem* make out buddy sitting on your lap?
You have to move on man. Even you have realised you will only be the rebound so forget about her and just be friends. So many other fine women out there for you I'm sure you're bound to bump into a few of them sometime.

Originally posted by Santos
Don't have time to sit and figure her out...

Common man. Your sitting there posting questions on an internet forum about some girl. To me it seems like you are sitting there trying to figure her out.

Only way you're going to move on is if you stop asking questions about this girl and just move on. No point dwelling on it. Even you have said there no chance of anything serious happening and if it's just a fvck that you want you wouldn't be asking so many questions.

 

[Santos]

Re: Re: Listening to her problems (BF)?

Originally posted by -dM
Only way you're going to move on is if you stop asking questions about this girl and just move on. No point dwelling on it. Even you have said there no chance of anything serious happening and if it's just a fvck that you want you wouldn't be asking so many questions.

You know what dM, you're right. I am posting way too much about this girl. I need to move on. I try and then she comes back to me, and it's hard to turn her down. But since we haven't really made any arrangements to see each other again, I'm going to make a real effort to get her hands off my balls. Her land-line has been cut off, and her cell-phone never has any credit. So she won't be calling me for a while. I won't call her either.

 

[bugsquish]

Ganji her, and DJ other chicks. She'll come running back with her panties round her ankles. But don't give her sh!t if she's using you to fill the gap in her ego left by her BF/ex/BF/ex. Don't let yourself be second best, you're better than that.

 

[myfriendblu]

Dude, i have been readin about your ongoin drama with this girl, and here what I have to say:

NEXT this chik, and stop wasting your precious time. Go out and find a single unattached girl, heck go out and find 2 of em.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

You definitely have One-itis!!! I wouldn't necessarily NEXT this byatch, but I'd put her at the bottom of your hit list and go meet 3-4 other girls.


PIMP