Listen or not to listen?

[acerazor1]

I make a joke to some chick about her trying to get me drunk to take advantage of me, and she texts me back this:

'Wouldnt do that anyway you retard... I have a bf and you have a gf... and i dont like you like that tard!'.

Im thinking, okay this chicks made her mind clear, but shes acts flirty with me even though i neg the puck out of her and no friend talk occurs... eg. i make silly jokes about how large my **** is, and shes always bringing it up, the joke that is not my ****... :L.

Then i text her saying thats okay then.

She texts me back with: yeh it is okay then . Dont be too upset :L.

Whys this chick acting flirty with me, paying me all the attention, acting like shes into me if were in a group etc... then saying shes not into me?

Should I listen and stop gaming?

Fello alphas, what do you think? Where do you draw the line at not listening to what a woman says?

 

[self-respect]

She's stringing you along for attention and you're showing her you're okay with that. She knows she can throw you a few flirty bones and you'll respond with your attention especially when you're out in public. It's what girls do. It ups her status and plays into her need for attention. She knows she doesn't have to work any harder for you to be her reliable emotional support that follows what she's saying. I've been there before. Most AFCs have.

Your response to her text was AFC. You completely backed down from her **** test and showed you were in her frame. You should have either one-upped her and said something like she could "cover it up as much as she tried but it's still showing" or stopped texting her and made her think twice about what she wrote. Either way it would have shown that you're the one dictating the frame and you'd rather end what you have than keep being strung along.

As for your last question, unequivocally - never, ever place too much stock into what a woman says. Go by what she's doing at all times.

 

[acerazor1]

She's stringing you along for attention and you're showing her you're okay with that. She knows she can throw you a few flirty bones and you'll respond with your attention especially when you're out in public. It's what girls do. It ups her status and plays into her need for attention. She knows she doesn't have to work any harder for you to be her reliable emotional support that follows what she's saying. I've been there before. Most AFCs have.

Your response to her text was AFC. You completely backed down from her **** test and showed you were in her frame. You should have either one-upped her and said something like she could "cover it up as much as she tried but it's still showing" or stopped texting her and made her think twice about what she wrote. Either way it would have shown that you're the one dictating the frame and you'd rather end what you have than keep being strung along.

As for your last question, unequivocally - never, ever place too much stock into what a woman says. Go by what she's doing at all times.

Thanks for the reply bro this makes sense

Shes thrown this **** test a couple times before by saying almost the same thing and ive responded with stuff like 'your talking ****'. Do you think i should keep gaming her or forget about this chick? Damage reversable without going no contact?

 

[Chickfight]

This is how to NOT use texts. Women are creatures of the moment. They're attracted to whatever holds value at the moment. That flirty comment you made might have gone over in person, but through text you just come across as douchy guy who is unsatisfied with his girlfriend.

When I'm not banging a girl yet I use text for 2 purposes.

1. Setting up a meet up IN PERSON
2. A short back and forth to keep her thinking about me and how awesome I am.

Never hardcore flirting unless you've already established doing that in person through dates. I'd say a random drunk flirtation doesn't even count, because girls will do that with you, but it doesn't really mean anything and sure as hell doesn't establish anything.

You're mistaking her trying to get attention and validation through text as flirting. When you're in a group and you're game is tight, sure you could hook up with her. Many women will cheat if "it just happens" in the moment. Some charming and cool guy sweeps her off her feet, **** happens ya know. But by text? Nope. Things dont just happen in the moment by text. It has to be planned and premeditated.

I do think it's a good idea to focus your energies elsewhere for now, letting this girl bother you and giving her attention won't help. Plenty of beautiful girls out there horny for a real man.

 

[acerazor1]

This is how to NOT use texts. Women are creatures of the moment. They're attracted to whatever holds value at the moment. That flirty comment you made might have gone over in person, but through text you just come across as douchy guy who is unsatisfied with his girlfriend.

When I'm not banging a girl yet I use text for 2 purposes.

1. Setting up a meet up IN PERSON
2. A short back and forth to keep her thinking about me and how awesome I am.

Never hardcore flirting unless you've already established doing that in person through dates. I'd say a random drunk flirtation doesn't even count, because girls will do that with you, but it doesn't really mean anything and sure as hell doesn't establish anything.

You're mistaking her trying to get attention and validation through text as flirting. When you're in a group and you're game is tight, sure you could hook up with her. Many women will cheat if "it just happens" in the moment. Some charming and cool guy sweeps her off her feet, **** happens ya know. But by text? Nope. Things dont just happen in the moment by text. It has to be planned and premeditated.

I do think it's a good idea to focus your energies elsewhere for now, letting this girl bother you and giving her attention won't help. Plenty of beautiful girls out there horny for a real man.

Thanks man giving me some stuff to think about on my game. I was aware of these texting rules but I thought I made it clear I was joking, she didn't realise this I'm guessing :L.
The flirting isn't occurring when drunk though, almost all when sober, at work etc...
Don't really want to go no contact as she's displaying so many IOIs but I guess these can all be her just looking for attention. She knows I'm abit of a flirt when it comes to women so Im thinking she knows she can get attention from me which is why she pays me alot of attention?
So go no contact, but when I do see her (work, work party's etc) how do I play it?

 

[Gro0ver]

This reminds me of a girl who was stringing me along recently.

We went on 1 date and i felt it went well. I was keen to see her again but she flaked without trying to rearrange. I texted her a few days later and started up some banter, it went something like this:

Girl: Looks like i won that round [can't remember what she was referring to but she's basically saying she got 1 up on me on something or other]

Me: I'll let you have this one on my good graces and wait patiently for revenge

Girl: You do that

Me: [Written in German language as we both speak a little] I will, I'm very patient

Girl: [Written in German] Good because you will be waiting a long time

Me: I shan't bother then!

I was slightly AFC when i said i was very patient, kind of played into her hands but redeemed myself at the end. I saw her at my dance class a couple weeks back and o look, she wants to dance with me and know how I am / what i've been up to. Without being rude I gave her short answers and quickly moved on to the next chick when our dance was finished. She won't get another chance now.

Typical female game playing, identify them quickly and outwit them or just ignore. If you don't care then it can be good fun winding them up, but if they're doing this then you better be spinning more plates.

So go no contact, but when I do see her (work, work party's etc) how do I play it?

Flirt with other women and make her work for your attentions. Surprise her occasionally by playfully challenging her but keep it short and sweet.

 

[acerazor1]

Thanks guys solid advice!
Sounds exactly like you're describing groover, I think she may just been game playing.
Only thing is, we have a work party tomorrow night, everyone's going cinema then out in town to get drunk. I'm not keen on going to the cinema so I say I might just meet everyone in town, only to find she says the same thing! From what I can tell she wants to meet me and go to the pub, just the two of us! Im thinking I should go, good chance to isolate & assess the situation? Or decline and meet everyone after the film?

 

[SgtSplacker]

Chickfight nailed it.

And just because you don't see it's going anywhere quickly doesn't mean to give up on her. She likes to chat but doesn't really like you? FINE. Chat her up about all the cool stuff you do until you get her to spend time with you. Get her out? now buy her drinks only. If shes willing to hang out shes willing to ride you till dawn. You just have to set the right mood and don't make it seem obvious. Girls don't know what they want, they just want the coolest thing happening right now. I have had a couple little chatty friendships turn into lays and had the girls tell me that they never thought it was going to happen like that. A big part of laying girls is making it not seem like its about just laying them, while keeping sex on their mind at the same time. Then they will put their shields down and give in to their hornyness if they trust you.

 

[self-respect]

I'd say no to the pub. You're the one that should be deciding how things are between the two of you and what you want to do together. She should be responding. Take the lead and do what you want to do, including spending time away from her. She's not interested in you in the way you want, so what are you getting out of it anyway besides false hope?

Sure if you're smooth you might be able to re-establish your dynamic with her and possibly get with her, but there's plenty of girls out there man. It's much easier just to start fresh without the history. First impressions matter.

 

[acerazor1]

Thanks for all the replys guys, really helping my game and understandings

However, I do have one thing i dont quite understand. The vibe im getting from you guys is to walk away, go no contact, at least temporarily. But what if she is genuinely interested in me? The only reasons i have doubt is from what she has said via text, but what if there just **** tests shes throwing me? & we all know the golden rule of not listening to what a woman says, its what she does... and she is showing massive signs of interest whenever i see her.

I'm not just saying this out of hope, I have other plates and tbh not too bothered about walking away if shes game playing, but what do I have to lose by carrying on gaming her? Even after failing what I'm guessing was a **** test, she still shows massive signs of interest & her friends agree with me so its not just me :L.

 

[CCFCmid]

If she is genuinely attracted to you, then doing what people are saying will do you no harm, she'll start to chase you. Its a no lose situation.

And the ONLY massive sign of interest to pay attention to is if she turns up on a date that you ask her out on. End of.

The stuff you call 'massive signs of interest whenever i see her' could be
i) signs of interest
ii) signs of I'm gonna use you for attention
iii) signs of you're my plaything
iv) signs of.....

Ignore IoIs, the one you pay attention to is whether she turns up for a date and spends time with you...... or not.

 

[Chickfight]

Thanks for all the replys guys, really helping my game and understandings

However, I do have one thing i dont quite understand. The vibe im getting from you guys is to walk away, go no contact, at least temporarily. But what if she is genuinely interested in me? The only reasons i have doubt is from what she has said via text, but what if there just **** tests shes throwing me? & we all know the golden rule of not listening to what a woman says, its what she does... and she is showing massive signs of interest whenever i see her.

I'm not just saying this out of hope, I have other plates and tbh not too bothered about walking away if shes game playing, but what do I have to lose by carrying on gaming her? Even after failing what I'm guessing was a **** test, she still shows massive signs of interest & her friends agree with me so its not just me :L.

All girls are playing a game and so are we, we just have to play the game that leads us to what we want.

Though I don't like text game, even in that you should maintain your frame. A better response would have been:

Her: Wouldnt do that anyway you retard... I have a bf and you have a gf... and i dont like you like that tard!.

You: So defensive haha.

Or even better, just reply "gay". Shows how little ****s you give.

Next time you see her, still flirt with her, but bring a girl, or hit on girls at the bar. Become the life of the party and you can have whatever you want.