Line between being a **** / jerk and IM messaging?

[cky]

Alright, so there are 2 points that I'm confused over. Before I started reading this site and forum, I wasn't bad with girls at all, but I did have the attachment and needyness towards them. Whenever I got someone's number or MSN, I'd just talk to them all the time, text them, ask them to come out the next day and so on every day, all that stupid shiz that makes girls just run away from you.
By now, I've left that, I barely talk to them myself over MSN, just occasionally. Now what do I do when they start talking to me? I'm online a lot, I work with my computer and after I'm done with school at like 5pm, I'm exhausted and just stay home, do my work and be online. Whenever they talk, I can't be flirty for hours straight, you just have to talk about random stuff as well, that moves you closer to the friend zone. I mean, it's easy at first for a couple of days, cause she's interested and all, I can keep it that way, that's no problem, but after a week or so, when she starts to lose interest, then what? I do want to show interest (not to go steady, for a good lay and you know, just attracting them, I don't stop communicating after I've done them. We all know it feels good to have girls attracted to you, it's natural.)
And this arouses another question: where do you draw the line between being a **** and just the little-caring jerk. For example, there's this one chick with whom who we have a joke over bedbugs and stuff, she says, "don't let the bedbugs bite then." I go: "I won't, but you're gonna have some. I can come there and you'll have a bed animal as well." - That works pretty well but in general when I've talked to them for a longer time, do I just go "good night" with no smileys and whatnot?
I'm just getting the feeling that I might make some girls think I'm not interested cause I'm being a bit distant sometimes instead of chasing them full force ahead. And how wrong do you think it is to go "noo, don't go just yet, only stay for another.. oh, 2 hours or so until I go to bed so I won't be as bored." You know, something among these lines.
These new techniques have got me a bit confused here, I just don't know how far I should go with showing my interest and chasing, all that. Also, it seems that being online a lot just is decresing the potential of everything, the mystery disappears and being that online-person just doesn't work out well, although it has its traits, a lot of them and I definitely don't want to quit being online or be offline just because of that.

I'm pretty sure I didn't express myself correctly, but for what it's worth, just interpret it how you understood it and shoot.

 

[WalkingStick]

1. If you want to be sucessful, you DO NOT CHASE WOMEN. they must chase you.

2. Don't be available all the time.

3. Don't beg them to stay around you.

4. Stop worrying about every little thing you say. Every now and go ahead and say something ballsy.

You must think and live as if YOU ARE THE PRIZE. Change your mindset and your actions will follow.

 

[cky]

1. If you want to be sucessful, you DO NOT CHASE WOMEN. they must chase you.

2. Don't be available all the time.

3. Don't beg them to stay around you.

4. Stop worrying about every little thing you say. Every now and go ahead and say something ballsy.

You must think and live as if YOU ARE THE PRIZE. Change your mindset and your actions will follow.

Hey, I'm not dumb, I know the basics, I'm asking in detail: how far do you go with the things I listed. Saying ****y sh!t is in my nature anyway, I have no problem with that nor being afraid of what she's gonna say when I flirt or say something about having sex in some way. I've had some chicks turn becoming distant because they misinterpet my lack of caring. They think I have a problem with them, they come and ask questions such as "What's wrong, what did I do, why are you being like this?" sometimes. Of course, I change that mindset of theirs. What goes for chasing, I don't chase 'em, I replace 'em. Usually I just undermine what I've initially done and now here it kicks in again: I don't want the chicks to think I'm trying to move into the friend zone.
All I need to know is where the line goes and what regards IM messengers.

 

[WalkingStick]

You seem a hell of a lot different in your second post than in your first. I'll assume I misunderstood you the first time.

To be honest, it wouldnt hurt to stay away from IM. You can't develop a physical or truly sexual connection with text. You are absolutely right when you say it's killing your mystery and pushing you toward the friend zone. When girls are with their friends, they sit around and talk. That is exactly what IM is for.

When I first came to this forum, one of my first posts was about how I can avoid coming on too strong. I was told and have learned there is no definite line. It is something that differs with each girl and each situation. You will develop a better feel for it if you don't have one already.

Everyone has probably had a girl get offended by "jerkiness". A female friend of mine once thought I was genuinely pissed off at her because I gave her too much crap. Always let her know, preferably WITHOUT telling her, that you are joking. If she knows it's a joke, she shouldn't get too upset. There's also the possibility that it's a sh*t test, but I'll stay away from that.

And stay away from the "noo, don't go" thing

 

[cky]

Yeah, that's why I added "I'm pretty sure I didn't express myself correctly, but for what it's worth, just interpret it how you understood it and shoot."

After re-reading what I wrote in my first post, I admit, I sounded pretty stupid and projected myself as a nerd.
Anyway, I think I just need a refreshment from some of the articles already read here, on SoSuave, just reinforces my confidence and the fact that I'm the one that should be chased not vice versa.
Thanks for the help anyway, but if anyone else cares to reply, feel free to give it a go.

 

[Cashew]

There is also the option of being signed in online, but not appearing as such to everyone else. If you do this now and then you won't appear as being online all the time and also you get to choose who to talk to and who not to talk to.

 

[dbot]

Talking to girls online is useful for one major thing... setting up plans. I'm willing to bet that you have a lot more girls on your buddy list than you do on your cell phone. Use that to your advantage. Don't be afraid to have a normal conversation with a chick. If everything you say is some witty c/f remark then you come off as one-dimensional, or predictable. Trust me, I've gone full-circle only to realize all the unnecessary crap I've been doing.

Really, it isn't that hard to do this. You don't need to raise a girl's interest level. Ever. So instead of throwing witty comments at her when you're online, say "hey if you're not busy tomorrow we should hang out." More likely than not she will say sure. So bring her over to your place and teach her some card tricks or play a fun board game or something. Something interactive. This is where you can tease her and have fun. But whatever you do, you better kiss her. I swear to God, she would not agree to hang out at your house with you if she didn't like you just a little bit.

You know why high school girls tend to date older guys? Because the older guys aren't aren't afraid to MAKE A MOVE. Teenagers are insecure. I don't care how much she likes you, she will never come to you. You have to be aggressive. Start putting your buddy list to good use.

 

[jeffthechef]

if she asks waht did i do wrong...you've passed the long because it's no longer fun...she's already worried/afraid

joke with them but don't be a *****...don't push it too..being ****y and funny every time you're with them gets old...perhaps mix it up..girls love surprises...go from ****yfunny..and the next day be a complete gentleman (NOT AFC)...she'll be wondering what's going on...you'll be a mystery to her that she's gonna want to figure out..BUT AGAIN..don't do this too often...honestly..you should get her before you have to play these games too long

 

[cky]

Well actually, there is no HER, I'm just going about it in general. I mean, sure I chat with them normally, talk about stuff, but trying to avoid stuff that moves you into the friend zone, that's a killer.

To dbot: No worries, I make moves, I think you've misunderstood a bit, I was just worried about talking to the chicks on my buddy list too much, so they lose interest and kills the mystery. Pretty rarely do I start the chat, so I'm pretty ok on that side, they come to me if they just wanna chat.

Another question that came to mind, was what do you do when a chick asks if you like her? I'm pretty sure there was an article about it, here on SoSuave, but I've lost it a long time ago.
I mean, you obviously don't wanna make her think you're not interested at all and you want an LJBF but you don't wanna play by her rules either. Would you guys just go: "Sure, I like you as a friend."? or actually say you're interested?

 

[jeffthechef]

Another question that came to mind, was what do you do when a chick asks if you like her? I'm pretty sure there was an article about it, here on SoSuave, but I've lost it a long time ago.
I mean, you obviously don't wanna make her think you're not interested at all and you want an LJBF but you don't wanna play by her rules either. Would you guys just go: "Sure, I like you as a friend."? or actually say you're interested?

heh...i would call her on it...not something such as "so you're interested in me."....i mean that could work but i would make it more interesting

for example,
"that won't work" ...this will confuse her..cause you're already implying that she wants you..assuming the sale
hopefullys he realizes you're implying a relationship when you say "that"
then she'll question why it won't work if she's interested and realizes you're not completely serious..joke or smile a bit to show you're teasing..

after a while, if you pick up that she really wants you
"fine. you're obviously dying to get it on with me...how about we ____" set up a time to hang

don't give her control..don't be an afc and play the..."well i might like you" "do you like me" "you first" ...take control and make her comfortable

 

[lil hooligan]

dont be on msn 24/7 PERIOD