Limiting Beliefs

[Danton1975]

"Looks matter. I don't have good looks therefore I cannot find a good quality girl"

"Money matters. I make $39,000 / year therefore I cannot get or keep a good quality girl"

"I am worth nothing. I have no game. etcc..."

Please. Please. Guys, with these beliefs, if we are to hold on to them we are sabotaging ourselves daily. Here is the biggest lesson I learned last year from a seminar I was listening to in my car. Nothing to do with sex by the way, or girls, but maybe it has everything to do with it:

"Choose your beliefs not based on the fact they are true or not, but based on their usefulness to you."

I am like WTF is he talking about? I have always been taught my beliefs must be true. Suddenly, months later...I got it. Now when you repeat that 10 times, understand its implications in your life, and then APPLY it...your life will get better. Find the beliefs that support you, make them become steps of a ladder you can climb to onward, and for Christ's sakes become mentally strong. Know that if there's only one girl in your town of one million males, that YOU will get this girl. That's a belief that supports you and it may well also be the truth...because for all you know, victory goes to the one with the strongest frame. Well...build upon that frame, make it strong, and GO for it!!!

 

[zekko]

"Choose your beliefs not based on the fact they are true or not, but based on their usefulness to you."

This is what I consider the most important thing that I've picked up here on these forums, even though it was only mentioned in a post or two. I apply it mainly to confidence in my life. I no longer look for EVIDENCE to be confident about, instead I CHOOSE to be confident because that is the attitude that is necessary for success. Funny thing is, once you choose to be confident you end up finding evidence to support it all over the place.

If you're like me and have had problems with limiting beliefs this takes a bit of practice to implement, but if you keep at it you'll get it.

 

[Telemear]

Excellent post, I think a lot of guys will spend hours upon hours focusing on pick up lines and fancy language to talk to girls yet either ignore or spend little time focusing on their own beliefs and attitude.

I think once you get your "inner game" sorted and work on it on a DAILY basis things start to fall into place and you find yourself feeling so much more confident and congruent when talking with girls. This also applies to other areas of your life. It's like a snowball effect and the more you work on yourself the "easier" it gets dealing with girls.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Obama believed that he could change America...and look where he's at now!

This post is good stuff, +1

 

[Veridin]

This is what I consider the most important thing that I've picked up here on these forums, even though it was only mentioned in a post or two.

Really? "Choose your beliefs not based on the fact they are true or not, but based on their usefulness to you." Fascinating. So you can let yourself go; get fat, don't take showers, burp and talk so loud that the whole room can hear you. It doesn't matter if you don't believe that it matters!

More for the rest of us I guess.

 

[Danton1975]

Really? "Choose your beliefs not based on the fact they are true or not, but based on their usefulness to you." Fascinating. So you can let yourself go; get fat, don't take showers, burp and talk so loud that the whole room can hear you. It doesn't matter if you don't believe that it matters!

More for the rest of us I guess

Now...why would I want to believe all the above? How useful would the belief that I should get fat, not take showers, etc... would be to me? The weakest form of argument is to argue from extremes.

 

[zekko]

Really? "Choose your beliefs not based on the fact they are true or not, but based on their usefulness to you." Fascinating. So you can let yourself go; get fat, don't take showers, burp and talk so loud that the whole room can hear you. It doesn't matter if you don't believe that it matters!

A ridiculous notion. The topic is about LIMITING beliefs, beliefs that limit you. The idea is self improvement, including (and most importantly) your attitude. Going around with a self defeating attitude is just that - self defeating. As Danton1975 said, none of the ideas you mentioned would be useful. You can accomplish more by being positive.

Someone said that when it comes to your flaws, if you can change it then go ahead and try. If it's something you can't change, forget it. So go ahead and take that shower if you're dirty.

I struggled on and off with my confidence for years until I realized it was a CHOICE. If you let your confidence be affected by what is going on around you and the circumstances in your life, it will rise and fall with every advance and setback. Now I choose to be confident regardless. This is sometimes called core confidence, where your confidence comes from within you rather than from the situation you are in.