Life

[Philippe Schlichting]

I am German. For the first time I read the German version of Neil Strauss' book. There's a passage that is dealing with his pickups. Talking about who he fu.cked, but not how it happened.

I feel pathetic when I write that, but since 2005 I've been writing over and over on different boards about how much I suffer from pickup failures. Funny enough I did not get any support from any community. So people were not supporting me, saying that I was awesome. But in spite of that I kept on writing anyway. I'm one of those people who cannot get rid of the desire for instant gratification. I am impatient with myself by nature and more often than not that caused me great disadvantages over other people. Neil Strauss might have "made it" in a shorter period of time than me, but he was way more efficient than me within that period of time. He also might have a good memory, which I lack. I'm pretty sure he endured much more uncomfortable feelings than I did, but I cry out loud at every single uncomfortable feeling I get.

People sometimes ask how important it is for me to get a girl. What do I really want to invest into getting the girl? Or someone else said "The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place. And I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there if you let it. You me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you can hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward."

I cannot derive any instruction from those statements. To me they are like "just keep on moving forward, you will make it". You know I heard that sh.it seven years ago as well. I guess I even heard it 12 years ago. And? I'm still here. I still have that mentality. Those fu.cking keep-on-moving-sentences mean nothing to me, all they do is give me a hard time.

Last year I started not going out anymore for New Year's Eve. This year, meaning today I won't go out aswell. Because it means literally nothing to me that a year passes by.

I have all the information right at my fingertips and I'm unable to put it into action because I cannot even remember it.

So I went out in 2005 for the first time to pick up women. When I had problems I didn't know how to solve them. In forums all I experienced were people who were insulting me, who were giving me a hard time. So I read and read and read again not knowing what the real cause was. And people didn't give a fu.ck No one gave a fu.ck My parents didn't, my so-called friends didn't.

I mean what does this "how much you can take and keep moving forward" even mean? Moving forward. Into which direction? What?

How the fu.ck do you think one would keep on doing something with hardly any success at all for years without any hope for improvement? And after some time it even deteriorated and I did not know why. It's like those "It get's better"-movies for faggots. They say it gets better, but there's nothing they do for it to get better. Saying it gets better is the same as saying the quote I mentioned above.

I have literally no idea how Neil Strauss managed to accomplish his success. I have a hard time remembering all those things being mentioned in the mystery method. I mean the mystery method does not even have a basic structure that is simple. There is no lowest common denominator. Gunwitch once wrote, in regards to the mystery method, that you cannot just remember so many little details it just doesn't work. And this is exactly what I experience. But being in sexual state is just not enough in my experience.

I have been going out into the field since 2005. That is seven years. And most regularly my sets don't even survive the opener. For some fu.cking reason neither a community, nor friends nor anyone is telling me why. I do not get it. So to summarize, I do not get it because I cannot remember all that stuff of mystery method, the sexual state is not working for me, as I grew older women became less and less interested in me, my brain functionality deteriorates, I feel less and less worthy.

And then I read the book of Neil Strauss. Showing his success. And all of this is revived.

I have had no success in work for ages I have had no success with women for ages. I just don't know what to do. I went back to playing computer games. I mean out in the field all I can expect is getting rejected. If I get rejected over and over, there is something going wrong.

 

[foolyoufool]

I think you answered your own question...you are too focused on instant gratification. You have to learn to put in the hard work by trying different things. At first it will be tougher than you're used to, but after a while you'll find something that works for you. Just try different strategies until you find the one that works for you. A famous quote: "insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results."

 

[Gro0ver]

I feel for you dude. Funny enough, it is normal for you to feel like this. You are your own worst enemy, so it's time to stop rolling over.

Like foolyoufool said, it's all about finding what works for you. You need to realise, you are not Neil Strauss. What worked for him will not work for you because you are a different person with different everything.

You have to find ways to get the best out of yourself and be patient. Learn from mistakes. Learn from success.

You have a clean state in 2013 - make the most of it.

Here's a few things to try:

- Play video games only as a treat when you have achieved something. Don't use it to shut away from the world when you're feeling down, it doesn't help and wastes time

- Less internet, more books - much better for cognitive development (which should be continuous throughout life to prevent decline)

- Think about your job/career - is it time for a change?

- Get a regular exercise regime that works for you and that you enjoy

Finally, forget about women for awhile. It's not worth all that trouble, it sounds to me that what you need is not game, but just rediscovering a zest for life. You don't need women for that, they are just a natural by-product.

Why are you continually using a tactic that doesn't work for you? I'm crappy at approaching women so I don't bother. I go to salsa classes, clubs and meet girls through my social group. Play to your strengths.

 

[Philippe Schlichting]

I think you answered your own question...you are too focused on instant gratification. You have to learn to put in the hard work by trying different things. At first it will be tougher than you're used to, but after a while you'll find something that works for you. Just try different strategies until you find the one that works for you. A famous quote: "insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results."

I got this very quote in 2006 and nothing changed so far. Because I did try out several (challenging) things and it did not work for me.

 

[Trailboss]

Sounds like you confusing Motivational speeches with technical instructions. They are not the same! When the Dallas Cowboys roll into a locker room to play a game, their coach does not give technical instructions at that time: it's too late. They already *know* what to do by then and need the motivational stuff to go out and do it. Old Rocky, whose quote you used in your post, was giving a motivational speech bro. And it's a damned good one. You are right, in that you seem to be a victim of this new age, fast food, microwave, drive through "give it to me NOW" philosophy. You should also know that *nothing* good ever comes easily or quickly. If you are failing at picking up women, then you have not learned the stuff they want to hear in order to make them interested in you. Maybe you just don't *like* going out and picking up women? It can be a stressful endeavor. Maybe you should try taking a class at a local college or something. Go where the women are and where they are *not* looking to be "picked up". Maybe the best things happen when you aren't looking to *make* them happen? I'm a tough dude to get to know. My ex says that, most of the time, I got a look on my face of complete approachability! Frankly, I scare people. And it keeps 'em away. I had to work on that a bit! lol. It's because no matter where I am, I always expect trouble: like a cop. Anyway, if you have that kind of look on your face when you try to talk to women, it may not go the way you want! Try to work on looking approachable. Try taking the process in bite size stages as well. Since I found this site and am reading the Bible, I have concentrated on getting phone numbers. That was the goal over the last 10 days or so. I have gotten about 8 numbers in that time. Haven't called any of them! But...I'm still learning and I'm broke because of Christmas anyway! No big deal. Break the process down and take it in chunks. Use that brain of yours: you don't sound like a dummy. Just an AFC. Right now you just sound kinda wimpy...sorry man, but I gotta say it! Someone does...and take it from me: I'm 47, gotta a lot of miles on me and I have one damned leg! If I can do it: anyone can! You say you like computer games? I play Call of Duty and Borderlands all the time! I quit putting women on damned pedestals and started looking at them as "equals" and started looking at the process as a GAME! Learn the rules and learn the game...treat it like a game....don't take it so serious! And one lesson I learned from the USMC very well: Never, ever, ever, ever QUIT!

Women don't like quitters...nobody likes a damned quitter.

 

[Philippe Schlichting]

Break the process down and take it in chunks....If you are failing at picking up women, then you have not learned the stuff they want to hear in order to make them interested in you.

I have all the information right at my fingertips and I'm unable to put it into action because I cannot even remember it.(...) I have a hard time remembering all those things being mentioned in the mystery method. I mean the mystery method does not even have a basic structure that is simple. There is no lowest common denominator. Gunwitch once wrote, in regards to the mystery method, that you cannot just remember so many little details it just doesn't work. And this is exactly what I experience. But being in sexual state is just not enough in my experience.

 

[Trailboss]

Then FORGET about the "mystery" method bro...How 'bout the "I'm a man and your a woman" method? Try the KISS principle. Stop making it complicated! It ain't rocket science! It's men & women doing, or trying to do, what they have been doing since before the damned Romans! In the hospital where I work, I see retards in love with each other! If retards can do it: so can you, me and everybody else! Just find some common ground! There's something you are not telling us here...either you are painfully shy around women (I used to be)or you are disfigured or something...have you tried a dating site? Try setting a few dates up that way....forget about meeting in bars or just out on the street! That may not be for you. It is definitely not for me. I smoke, and where I work you are not allowed to smoke on the property. So..we smokers (employees and patients)have to go to a common area where we already have something in common! I made a few C&F openers, as part of my experiment, that have worked great thus far. For example a decent looking woman may walk all the way across the parking lot, over to the smoking area we have commandeered. The woman has to walk through a choke point that I will stand by and when she approaches, I will say something like "ahhh We the banished members of society" if she looks approachable. Don't laugh: Where do you think I got those numbers! I vary it and try different things but...I found something that works. And, I see certain women actually coming out at times *I* am known for being out there so...I know something is up with that! Too bad I wouldn't wanna date half of 'em....lol. Anyway...You have *something*...some hobby or habit or sport or whatever...something that you can take advantage of and use it to put you in a spot where you can do the same damned thing bro! Every guy has *something*! It's a game...it's a puzzle....if you are just going to be sitting around feeling sorry for yourself anyway...use that time to figure it out!

 

[goundra]

make something if yourself, if you are not financially successful already, a woman can ruin you quite easily. if you already have money, get a rock solid prenuptial/palimony agreement before things get very far at all, or you'll regret it. Look to the 3rd world for a woman, man. She may cost you 5k to get her "delivered" to you, but she'll be far, FAR more woman for you than the local stuff. Google for "Asian Dating."

 

[Trailboss]

LoL! I know a dude from my platoon who would only date asian chicks! This guy was GQ material: women swooned over him when we went out to party in Waikiki. Unless they were asian: he would have nothing to do with 'em! Eventually married a Thai chick and is still married today. This was from back in the early '90's. So...there may be something to that...American women tend to be so materialistic and superficial. But...there are some gems left, and that's what I am looking for, myself...

 

[Philippe Schlichting]

New Year's Eve just passed here, half an hour ago. I hear the amount of firecrackers already fading slowly.

 

[Philippe Schlichting]

Let's get practical here. It's NYE. People are in groups, lighting fire crackers, being wasted - people give a fu.ck about me as usual. What do I do to pick up a woman in those groups?

 

[Fly By Night]

You need to remember that there are guys out there getting women without ever touching or glancing at any PUA/seduction material. If you are approaching women trying to remember every single piece of advice you were taught, then you are going about it wrong. You should have a mentality of what you want from the girl, everything else will fall in place if you stay true to your mentality. If you're a nice guy, you're going to do nice guy things; alternatively, if you are a douche, you are going to do douche things.

Take the essentials that you read and combine them to picture what kind of person you want to be when approaching these women. Stop using formulas and checklists to grade yourself when approaching:

"Aw man, it's been 20 seconds into the conversation! I should initiate kino right now or else her IL will drop 15 points!"
"Oh no! I didn't turn my palm upward while shaking her hand. I could have had her IL skyrocket if I did that."

Just take the big picture and make this fun. Just get a general idea of who you would be if you internalized all this information. There is a little "fake it til you make it" involved, but that is why it is important to become what YOU want to be. Don't sell your soul just to get women.

 

[Philippe Schlichting]

What you wrote is lost on me, Fly By Night. I have no idea how to put this into practise.

 

[floydb25]

Just wanted to comment on one thing you said, in regards to how people act when you share this kind of info with them: most people dont want to see you succeed, are hoping you fail, and prefer you to be at the bottom - well below threm - even if you're at the top. So, dont share all those weaknesses, failures, and insecurities with anyone and everyone you meet - in an attempt to gain sympathy, support, and helpful advice. They'll just laugh at you, look down on you, call you a loser, tell you to get a prostitute, or date fatties. They feel better about their OWN insecurities by focusing on others - who are just as, if not completely worse off than them. They like to kick people down, and make sure they stay there.

So, dont tell them **** in this regard. They'll just say you're a loser who will never succeed, and use you to feel better about themselves. Because now, they're not the losers - you are. And, guess what? They want it to remain that way. A lot of *******s specifically target those who are unsuccessful, insecure, and have low self-esteem (much like themselves), and try to tear them apart. They make easy targets, and can be bullied. Thats all the leeway they need.

Even if you are hugely successful... you shouldnt brag, either - because they'll specifically look for and nitpick any flaws or weaknesses they can find, and try to tear you down all the same. Or even if they see you being successful in areas they lack in. Same thing.

Of course, they will deny all of this, and just say you're a loser, and etc. Anything to keep you down.

If people are acting like this - as you stated, in the former case - they are simply projecting their own insecurities out on you. Thats all bullies are, really... Insecure faggots. Dont listen to anything they say, or seek their guidance or approval. They're irrelevant.

What can I say? Most people suck, and are insecure *******s. Dont trust so easily, or share all this personal, detailed info with the entire world. Because, believe you-me, most people are NOT on your side. They will also make you feel a LOT worse about your failures. Pouring salt on an open wound, if you will. Plus, using your weaknesses against you.

It IS a cruel world out there, like the quote said. The only "rock" you have is yourself, and you gotta deal with a lot of this **** alone.

Ok, thats all.

 

[JoeMarron]

Seven years of doing this and you haven't had any success whatsoever? Clearly you're doing something horribly wrong. I suggest taking a break from women and going back to the basics. Get your fundamentals down; get in shape, dress well, work on your basic social skills, find some hobbies that you really enjoy, get your financial situation in check, etc. Become a normal well adjusted dude and then you can get back in the game. And please stop trying to remember a billion different things while out in the field. Go in with a clear head and just enjoy the moment. Now I can't say that I know all of this will work from personal experience lol I probably need to be doing some of this myself but based on what I've read here, the DJ Bible and other places I'm sure this will help get you started.

 

[Philippe Schlichting]

floydb25, you are right. With all of that. So how did you gain the wisdom you needed?

 

[Philippe Schlichting]

Get your fundamentals down; get in shape, dress well, work on your basic social skills, find some hobbies that you really enjoy, get your financial situation in check, etc. Become a normal well adjusted dude and then you can get back in the game.

Bad advice. You would never get back into the game if all of that was required to start.

 

[Philippe Schlichting]

Problem isn't solved.