life has taken a downward turn, i cant get up

[Five To One]

I know its not an uncommon problem for guys, it probably happens more frequently to guys on this site because we are thinkers. but i just dont know what to do anymore and it honestly scares me.

Iv been dating a girl for a few months now and we have tryed having sex on maybe 8 seperate occations. Iv tryed everything that iv seen suggested. I focus on just fingering her for a while and trying to make her cvm and sometimes it works, but as soon as I stop, I get soft again. I get so close sometimes.

I do keges (sp?), started lifting, stopped watching porn and stopped masterbating. Other than that what else is there? Yesterday I even changed it up and watched some porn to get me in the mood for fvcking before heading over to her house.

Iv even gotten rid of friends and anything that make my life stressful. My life is so stress free and I still cant have sex with a beautiful girl that im afraid will leave me if I cant perform. I can see the disappointment in her eyes when I roll off her and say I cant do it yet. And yes we have talked about it openly.

The only thing I can think of is she doesnt give head for foreplay. Is that a must for some of you guys? I need some suggestions. I think being drunk would help, it would turn off my brain some.

I need help. Can anyone offer some advice?

 

[Allurre]

It's all in your mind bro. Remind yourself you're the SEX KING.

Give her the romp of her life. One that will echo through her social network.

Go for it. That should motivate you.

 

[IKO69]

Most likely it's in the mind. If it happens constantly it could be a physical or hormonal problem so go see a urologist.

 

[onebigfatcat]

I've had that problem before too. It sucks....but hey, it happens to the best of us. Rarely is it a physical problem as others have mentioned. My suggestion, and what worked for me, is to become more engaged. I was somewhat in the same situation as you are. I have a very stress free life, and what stess I do incur I deal with very well (all that military training has made me somewhat immune to what most civies call stress). Just because, and in my case because, your life is without stress, your mind tends to wander more. Next time you see her, just grab, throw her down on the closest bed (sofa, table, counter, etc.) and live completely in the moment. Give her all your attention and see where that goes.

If all else fail, modern medicine is wonderful.

 

[women haze]

It's purely psycological I would definately see a Specialist. There are people out there that can help you.

Don't worry about her, If she is worth it she will not leave you just yet.

 

[Five To One]

I do want to see someone about it. I dont want medication or pills but rather the doctors advice and knowledge on the matter. I just dont really know how to reach one. Im only 19 and I live with my parents. In order to get to a doctor I would have to talk to my parents. My parents would hate me if they knew I was trying to have sex.

women haze you say see a specialist, are you meaning a urologist or is there someone else I could see. But I will be looking into seeing a urologist.


Also I head to college soon, they have health advisers at most colleges, do you think this is someone I could talk to? But I cant see them being very qualified in the matter other than telling me to use a condom.

 

[drewsg]

Has this happened with other girls before?

I get like that with some girls. The last time it happened, I would go soft every time I would try and get inside her. So what I did, I told her to get on top, and as I was kissing her neck/sucking her titties, I would rub my d--k against her pu$$y till I was hard enough to enter.

And just relax..

 

[ronp78]

You should see a doctor for sure. I don't understand why, if you are 19, that your parents need to know. Maybe you are covered under their insurance and they see the diagnosis on the reports that come back from the insurance carrier?

If for some other reason you could do the following: Tell them you need to see the doctor (urologist) for some other reason. Tell them you saw blood in your urine or that you were kicked in the groin playing basketball and it still hurts. Then when you are alone with the urologist, tell him your real reason for being there.

I am quite sure it is all psychological.

 

[realsmoothie]

My parents would hate me if they knew I was trying to have sex.

Hmm... I'm guessing this is a sign that there's some psychological stuff going on here.

 

[Five To One]

Hmm... I'm guessing this is a sign that there's some psychological stuff going on here.

well not hate. they would be disappointed. but that shouldnt make a difference, im not the first guy who has disapproving parents.


And yeah i would be covered by their insurance...unless i wanted to pay cash? idk it just sucks i have to do all this bullsh1t for sex

 

[Wynston]

My advice is stop pressurising yourself into having to give her a good time, I've been where you are when I get with a new girl until I'm comfortable naked with her you do get nervous and things dont work...Firstly stop thinking that it doesnt happen to other guys then think who cares if it goes soft she should make it hard again let her do it, you are not less of a man if you go soft you are simply overwhelmed by your own nerves... Its the kind of thing people can only reassure you about, you are the only one who can get over your nerves...something is stopping you from relaxing find out why and let it out!!! But trust me you are normal man, it happened to me because I had an injury when i was younger I got kicked in the nuts and lost one of the mofos, nothing looks any different down there except when you feel but psychologically I would sweat and be terrible, but then when I asked a girlfriend about it and she laughed and said I'm totally not interested in your balls its your shaft I want ... and from then on I was one stiff cat.... You will be too, just chill and relax!!!

 

[Commandante]

well not hate. they would be disappointed. but that shouldnt make a difference, im not the first guy who has disapproving parents.

And the most of the guys with disapproving (e.g. religious) parents have sexual problems.

Look, you are 19 and old enough to see the world with your own eyes, to form your own opinion on everything (all kind of sexual activities included) and to get rid of the sh!t your parents filled your brain with. It´s a part of the growing up process.

Maybe a psychologist could help.