Life changer

[Bryce556]

Hey so basically ive been doing great at the DJ game amazing acually. I met this amazing girl and really hit it off well. But then I find out shes 34years old, I am 20. She looks like shes 25! She is polyamourous but I want to be monogomans now even though I wouldent nornmally commit to one girl. Maybe open up the relationship later on. we are currently loosely committed and seeing only each other due to circumstances. thats just a bit of background so you know where I am coming from. I dont really know what my plan was with her but I really feel very stongley about her.been with her for 3 months now. She has 2 kids from a pervious relationship, (married her best friend after he knocked her up due to family pressure etc.)

All that aside though I am about ready to lose it! Here is the kicker.

SHE IS PREAGNENT! yes its mine, she had her tubes tied too, please no comments on useing condoms she has a severe latex and polyurathane allergy.\

Im freaking out!!!!

I have no idea what to do, I try to be her rock but i lose it ive lost all alphaness not been myself that past few weeks. it might not be a sure thing since for health reasons she could miscarry.

I dont know what to do I cant bring myself to tell my parents who i live with, been living at her place that last while alot. She is great besides the being tired and irritable from hormones.

Abortion is not an option for us. Neither is me leaving her I have too much honour to ever do that!.

I just needed to vent i'm going crazy i don't know what to do anymore

I feel like punching in a wall and crying and running away and doing something stupid all at the same time.

 

[Borknagar]

haha dude you're 20 and shes 34, thats almost cougarish for you, but damn dude, this is pretty ****ed up

 

[The_411]

You know how I know you're 20 ...


"SHE IS PREAGNENT! yes its mine, she had her tubes tied too, please no comments on useing condoms she has a severe latex and polyurathane allergy."

Dude, women will say anything to have a kid. Yes women do get their tubes tied and yes they have allergic reactions but you shouldn't be having sex with a woman without protection unless you're willing to be a dad.

 

[x86]

Information is your best friend. I recommend reading Screw the ***** : Divorce Tactics for Men in case you are thinking of marrying her because of "honor"

Honor does not matter. What matters is protecting your self and not dooming your self to a life you do not want to live. If you end up hating your life you are likely to take it out on the poor kid.

 

[f283000]

You can be a father to your kid and have a life of your own without ruining it with marriage.

Whatever you do don't feel forced into marriage because she got pregnant. You can live with her if that's what you want but don't force yourself into marriage.

 

[Bryce556]

Information is your best friend. I recommend reading Screw the ***** : Divorce Tactics for Men in case you are thinking of marrying her because of "honor"

Honor does not matter. What matters is protecting your self and not dooming your self to a life you do not want to live. If you end up hating your life you are likely to take it out on the poor kid.

I cant take it out on her either by leaving her alone with child?

 

[Crissco]

She trapped you bro. What she said could be a lie, I dont know for sure, but at her age most women at looking for kids since most of there friends are having them. Your best bet here it get a paternity test when she has the kid.

Good Luck

 

[n00bPimp]

Damn, I think your problem is beyond the scope of this forum. But you'll do all right, its things like these that make you into a man.

 

[Bryce556]

She trapped you bro. What she said could be a lie, I dont know for sure, but at her age most women at looking for kids since most of there friends are having them. Your best bet here it get a paternity test when she has the kid.

Good Luck

she dosent want anymore kids she has 2 already, shes crying about it most of the time shes as upset as me at this point.

 

[Borknagar]

Haha, reasons like this is why a lot more men need to step up to the plate and get themselves fixed. No shame in that condoms break, heat of the moment, I'd laugh right in a chicks face if she ever told me "I'm preg" cause not gonna happen with me! Sure there's still a chance of getting a STD, but at least the chance of knocking a chick up has been taken care of

 

[iMan]

She played you, You could leave the relationship and still look after the child.

Whatever you do don't marry her. You're too young.

 

[macagent]

OP, my feeling is she duped you, and is using a child to reel you in to a relationship. Tubes tied & latex allergy, sounds like an awfully convenient way for a 34 yr old to get "surprise" pregnant. Were you there for her surgery? How do you "know" she had it done if you weren't?

Haha, reasons like this is why a lot more men need to step up to the plate and get themselves fixed. No shame in that condoms break, heat of the moment, I'd laugh right in a chicks face if she ever told me "I'm preg" cause not gonna happen with me! Sure there's still a chance of getting a STD, but at least the chance of knocking a chick up has been taken care of

So you recommend a man should get "fixed"? Really? IMO encouraging neutering of males is part of the feminist agenda, and is not anything I would ever recommend to a son or younger man.

Young men, learn how to control your ejaculation instead!

Borknagar, there's rare cases of pregnancy occurring even with post-vasectomy males, so there is a very small chance it could happen to you anyway. So, don't get too...****y Nothing is ever guaranteed when it comes to altering the natural way of things ->

http://www.ivillage.com/vasectomy-my-wife-pregnant/6-n-138362
http://www.vasectomy-information.com/wordpress/?cat=18
http://www.babycenter.com/400_pregnancy-after-vasectomy_1805508_667.bc

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Borknagar have some damn respect this guy's life is changing instantly and he's 20. Don't laugh and tout your vasectomy (I'm not against vasectomies but I am against people being totally inconsiderate).

Bryce -- it is not uncommon for women to try and convince us not to use protection. There are things that happen in a woman when semen is absorbed into her body -- feelings of "wholeness" and even deepened connection to partner. Unfortunately, those feelings can fade..but women honestly I am strongly convinced, crave semen.

Do you know she has been only having sex with you? You said she is polyamourous, maybe she's got another partner recently who may have gotten her pregnant also -- I'd get a paternity test if I were you -- and you can decide upon the result what you want to do.

Irregardless of your relationship with this woman: know your relationship with your child can be something special of your own. But I would say get more info first -- how far along do you think she might be?

Why wasn't she using birth control if she didn't want another child and is polyamorous?

Has all of your sex with her been unprotected? Do you know/remember a time where you didn't pull-out, ie, a time you may have slipped?

How certain are you this is yours?

 

[Jaylan]

First off I would like to say I cosign everything BuddhaMind said above me. Really understand what he said, especially about women trying to convince you not to use a condom.

SHE IS PREAGNENT! yes its mine, she had her tubes tied too, please no comments on useing condoms she has a severe latex and polyurathane allergy.

This is why I am rarely an advocate of people dating folks so much younger than themselves, especially young folks in the under 23 crowd. You all are still kids at this age, despite being adults.


First off, I have to ask how the hell this woman is pregnant if she has her tubes tied like you said ?

Now, Kid I am going to be real with you. What the fvck is wrong with you! Didnt your dad warn you about this. My pop rammed it into my head to wear a condom and it stuck.

Why in the goddamn world would you let a women get you to think its ok to smash without a condom?! Especially when she already has kids. I always say to myself "if a girl has kids already, she will definitely have them again" I say this to myself despite the circumstances in which the kids were created. My rationalizing is that a woman with kids wouldnt be up for a morning after pill and is not smart about condoms and birth control.

And you ALWAYS need to have the "what if" talk with a girl you are screwing frequently. In my case, if a girl is not open to morning after pills in case of a slip up, I wont smash. No ifs, ands, or buts, because my life is mine alone until I DECIDE that I want to take care of someone else. Although realistically I know a girl can have a change of heart when it comes her views on slip ups.

But lastly, dude who gives a frick about her allergies. YOU WEAR PROTECTION OR SHE NEEDS TO BE USING SOME FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL HERSELF. Come on kid. THEY MAKE LAMBSKIN CONDOMS...thats right...all natural stuff. Its more expensive but it works and was made for folks with allergic reactions to latex and poly. So either you are both ignorant of your birth control options, or she G'd you good.

I am just trying to talk to you the way I would any of my close friends. I wish you the best of luck and you need to stay on top of this. Offer to take her to doctor visits to confirm shes pregnant and also check to make sure the kid is yours when the chance arrives to do so.

You have to protect yourself because I had a girl lie to me once, and I have no idea why since we agreed it was just FWB and we werent compatible in any other way. We didnt even ever really hang out as friends, just hello, sex, goodbye. Once I told her Id take her to the clinic and wanted to let her mom know, her story started seeming shady. We were 19 and 20 at the time, so its not something to keep from the parents and turns out she wasnt pregnant after I went to her mom about it.

Always protect yourself bro.

P.S. - Unprotected sex with a polyamorous woman means you need to hit up the STD clinic and get checked as well.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

Abortion is not an option for us.

Why?

 

[escaleraroyal]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whytAReStUQ&feature=player_embedded

 

[Bryce556]

hey thanks all OP, she was not lying to me about severe allergy or tubes tied i have been to doctor several times with her already, went into it know she was poly but at the time she has been seeing me she was not seeing anyone else.
Poly to her though means seeing like one other person as a lover and always the same person. not my idea of poly (women everyday of the week)

it all seems to have worked itself out, i will look into lambskin condoms haven't heard of that before, she cant take birth control anymore i've heard this from guys and other girls too its bad to be taking in consecutively for so many years after a while. also why birth control when tubes tied, and yes it was mine i did *** inside her.

in all though she just miscarried a few days ago, i was starting to get used to the idea of maybe being dad, lesson learned though, thanks for support! thats a first for me. now im just dealing with the emotional roller coaster that goes with a miscarriage. abortion was not an option due to past experiences personal stuff.


on another note i have no idea what i want to do about her wanting a open relationship and the idea of being in love with more then one person, i used to be okay with that but it bothers me this time around maybe because before i just dident care as much about the person. my first relationship thats gone beyond like 6 weeks. Ive had alot too.

escaleraroyal- nice vid hahaha! lmao

 

[Aaron B]

What confirmation did you get that she was pregnant? Did she provide any proof?

Since she is sleeping with other men, why did you believe it was your baby in the first place?

 

[Bryce556]

What confirmation did you get that she was pregnant? Did she provide any proof?

Since she is sleeping with other men, why did you believe it was your baby in the first place?

she was not sleeping with other men lol, that was just background from were we were both coming from. she had no time to be with other men was with me like 24/7 for a while. i saw preg test and i could tell she was we got 5 weekd in until misscarriage. went to doctor too with her

 

[Aaron B]

she was not sleeping with other men lol, that was just background from were we were both coming from. she had no time to be with other men was with me like 24/7 for a while. i saw preg test and i could tell she was we got 5 weekd in until misscarriage. went to doctor too with her

Just to confirm, you saw the pregnancy test results from the doctor is that correct?

Also why do you describe her as poly amorous if she doesn't sleep with other men? Does she only sleep with other women?