Level headed ex advice

[Raiker]

Hey guys, long time lurker but only recently have I found a reason to post. I'm a young guy, almost in my third year of college. From high school to about last October, I was dating this one girl. About two years. This girl had flaws but was very sweet. She did her best for us.

Honestly I was the problem. I admittedly did some very horrible, selfish things to her. I'm not proud of the immature things I did.

She broke up with me in October. I pleaded for a second chance but I'm sure she had enough. I rebounded pretty badly and somehow found another sweet pretty girl. Her and I quickly started dating and my ex was reasonably upset by how fast I "moved on".

The problem is that I haven't. As nice as my new girlfriend is, her and I don't have the same natural fun vibe as with my ex. I'm tryin with my new girlfriend but I found myself often reminiscing about my ex.

I stayed friends with my ex since the break up. There were still times when it felt like things were still good between us. She decided this week that I am "toxic" to her life though. She has become extremely cold and begged me to stay away. She is genuinely sweet so the fact that she needed to go to that extent is pretty eye opening.

I want to give her the peace she asked for. Obviously its not the easiest thing though, she has been my best friend and confidante for a few years.

So I guess what I'm asking is do y'all have anything to offer me? Can some more mature members give me some advice?

I'm trying to stay reasonable. It sickens me a little that I feel such self pity when this is honestly all my fault. I would like to grow from this and be a better person.

Anything at all

Thanks

 

[GotED?]

Go NC dude - forever and ever.

You are an orbiter, the truth hurts but swallow it and move on.

Game's over, you have no frame left.

You sound like you are still immature (and justified at your age) - grow up a bit, and you will realize she wasn't all that fantastic in the end. There are over 3 billion girls/women on this planet. What makes you think your Oneitis is going Till The End of Time? Don't be a Britney.

Good luck.

Exodus

 

[lamobatsman]

Go NC dude - forever and ever.

You are an orbiter, the truth hurts but swallow it and move on.

Game's over, you have no frame left.

You sound like you are still immature (and justified at your age) - grow up a bit, and you will realize she wasn't all that fantastic in the end. There are over 3 billion girls/women on this planet. What makes you think your Oneitis is going Till The End of Time? Don't be a Britney.

Good luck.

Exodus

also what did you do which was so bad?

 

[Raiker]

I appreciate your advice. And yes I agree, I still have a ways to go in maturity.

I think you misunderstood however. I'm not asking to get her back.

The thing that honestly bothers me the most is how I treated her. I was vague in my post but her sudden coldness is entirely my fault. I'm not being a delusional "afc" or whatever term this site is using these days. I understand why she wants nothing to do with me.

The thing that shakes me is that the situation even got this bad. I don't understand how I could be so cruel to someone I supposedly care about. Im ashamed of my actions and disappointed that I still feel pity for myself even when it was my fault.

I don't want to be defined by my selfish faults. This site has always been less about picking up girls to me and more about self improvement. And character is important.

I guess what I'm asking for is advice on maturing. It'd also be nice to know if someone else faced a similar situation. I don't want to be someone so callous to their loved ones and want to better myself after this disastrous relationship.

 

[VladPatton]

Out of respect for your new girl, who has nothing to do with your past, and out of respect for the new relationship you are in, do not contact the ex ever again (or any ex for that matter). Nothing good ever comes of keeping ties with an ex. Would you like it if SHE kept on bringing up issues with her ex? Hellz to the No!

Concentrate on what you have now, have fun with your current gf and keep life simple.

 

[GotED?]

I guess what I'm asking for is advice on maturing. It'd also be nice to know if someone else faced a similar situation. I don't want to be someone so callous to their loved ones and want to better myself after this disastrous relationship.

Bro, don't be so hard on yourself.

Just the fact of the matter that you are AWARE of your own behavior is a sign of maturity. Most people (immature ones of course) go through life unware of what rampage they do to other people's life out of their own selfishness and lack of care.

The reason you are posting here shows that you are conscious of what is right and wrong. Just keep that awareness moving forward. All is well.

Exodus

 

[Sonny Knight]

Raiker make a post when you have a real problem

now stop wasting motherfucing bandwidth and peoples time


have a nice day

 

[vatoloco]

The thing that honestly bothers me the most is how I treated her.

"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it."

http://youtu.be/dZfGTL2PY3E?t=23s

You don't wanna be a jerk then don't be a jerk.

 

[Raiker]

Out of respect for your new girl, who has nothing to do with your past, and out of respect for the new relationship you are in, do not contact the ex ever again (or any ex for that matter). Nothing good ever comes of keeping ties with an ex. Would you like it if SHE kept on bringing up issues with her ex? Hellz to the No!

Concentrate on what you have now, have fun with your current gf and keep life simple.

I like that perspective of keeping life simple. Its a sound suggestion, just hard to actually practice sometimes. I'll try to keep that in mind bro.

Thanks for all of the advice.

Admittedly, this is a pretty melodramatic problem compared to other issues people might have, but even so, this is the main thing that is keeping me up. I appreciate ya'll actually taking it seriously and trying to help.