Iceberg
Master Don Juan
I've never been the type to post field reports because if I'm successful, it sounds like I'm bragging. And if I'm unsuccessful, then it's boring. This field report is unsuccessful, but I want to vent about my own stupidity.
About a 2-3 weeks ago, I get a message on OKC from some cute blond. 5'10". Big boobs. Long legs. On my 2nd email to her, I suggest meeting up for whiskey. She's down. Only problem is scheduling it...we both live in NYC, and scheduling a date in NYC is goddamn hard. After some negotiating, we finally agree to Saturday. On Friday she texts me, "Going to an Xmas pub crawl on Saturday. I might show up to meet you wearing an elf outfit." Sexy elf b*tch. She'll already be drunk. Sold.
Saturday comes and I text her early in the afternoon.
Iceberg: "How's your elf situation? Let's do drinks around 9."
No response.
I'm thinking "This trick is going to back out on me." I start scanning my phone for backup females.
About 4 hours later, I'm like screw it...might as well give her one more shot. I text again. She replies.
Chick: "Sorry, my phone died. I'm in Manhattan with my friend (C0ckBlock). You can come meet us now or we can get together later."
I'm like nahh. I've seen this before. This friend is just going to be another hurdle.
Iceberg: "Sounds fun. I'll try to meet you after."
Then she texts me a pic of herself in her elf outfit. Red dress...tight. Long legs. Beer in-hand.
Chick: "Just come."
Ugh. I'm breaking my own rule. One-on-one dates ONLY. Anyway, I do it. I take the subway up there. And I call her once I get to the bar. She answers happily, and then the phone breaks up about 7 seconds into the call. I guess she wasn't lying about her phone dying.
After scanning the bar, I find her. Excellent cleavage. Long legs. And under the influence of alcohol. She immediately starts kino-ing me. She's showing me her candy cane leggings that she's wearing. All the way up to her thigh. The friend (C0ckBlock) comes over to meet me. Cute girl. She's already talking to another dude....who I IMMEDIATELY befriended, because if the C0ckblock is happy, then everyone is happy. Basically, I wanted this dude to stick around as much as C0ckBlock did.
I have my girl isolated on a couch. I've only been with her for 45 minutes, but my hand is around her waist...She takes my hand and slides it to her thigh. She's asking me how close my apartment is to hers. Instant p*ssy...right?
THEN all hell breaks loose. The other guy leaves. The C0ckblock stays. I try finding other men for her. She isn't having it. But I'm so close, I gotta plow through. The C0ckblock acknowledges that me and my girl want some alone time....but she won't leave.
All three of us take a cab to a bar near my apartment. In the cab, my girl takes my hand and slides it under her panties. I'm entertaining the C0ckBlock while secretly fingerbanging my girl.
We get out of the cab, go to a bar, and the girls go into the bathroom together. Five minutes later, they exit the bathroom. My Girl says, "I just started feeling bad. Sorry, but I think I'll head home." The C0ckblock says, "I'm going to go with her." They both leave the bar in a hurry...I'm standing there looking dumb.
My night went from 60mph to 0 right there. My chick sends me a few texts when she gets home, apologizing for leaving so quickly. Blah blah. And my Saturday night is over before I even got 4 beers in me.
So lesson learned. Never put yourself in a position to get c0ckblocked. Until you've banged your girl a few times, do NOT get stuck on dates with her and her friend. You're just creating obstacles for yourself.
About a 2-3 weeks ago, I get a message on OKC from some cute blond. 5'10". Big boobs. Long legs. On my 2nd email to her, I suggest meeting up for whiskey. She's down. Only problem is scheduling it...we both live in NYC, and scheduling a date in NYC is goddamn hard. After some negotiating, we finally agree to Saturday. On Friday she texts me, "Going to an Xmas pub crawl on Saturday. I might show up to meet you wearing an elf outfit." Sexy elf b*tch. She'll already be drunk. Sold.
Saturday comes and I text her early in the afternoon.
Iceberg: "How's your elf situation? Let's do drinks around 9."
No response.
I'm thinking "This trick is going to back out on me." I start scanning my phone for backup females.
About 4 hours later, I'm like screw it...might as well give her one more shot. I text again. She replies.
Chick: "Sorry, my phone died. I'm in Manhattan with my friend (C0ckBlock). You can come meet us now or we can get together later."
I'm like nahh. I've seen this before. This friend is just going to be another hurdle.
Iceberg: "Sounds fun. I'll try to meet you after."
Then she texts me a pic of herself in her elf outfit. Red dress...tight. Long legs. Beer in-hand.
Chick: "Just come."
Ugh. I'm breaking my own rule. One-on-one dates ONLY. Anyway, I do it. I take the subway up there. And I call her once I get to the bar. She answers happily, and then the phone breaks up about 7 seconds into the call. I guess she wasn't lying about her phone dying.
After scanning the bar, I find her. Excellent cleavage. Long legs. And under the influence of alcohol. She immediately starts kino-ing me. She's showing me her candy cane leggings that she's wearing. All the way up to her thigh. The friend (C0ckBlock) comes over to meet me. Cute girl. She's already talking to another dude....who I IMMEDIATELY befriended, because if the C0ckblock is happy, then everyone is happy. Basically, I wanted this dude to stick around as much as C0ckBlock did.
I have my girl isolated on a couch. I've only been with her for 45 minutes, but my hand is around her waist...She takes my hand and slides it to her thigh. She's asking me how close my apartment is to hers. Instant p*ssy...right?
THEN all hell breaks loose. The other guy leaves. The C0ckblock stays. I try finding other men for her. She isn't having it. But I'm so close, I gotta plow through. The C0ckblock acknowledges that me and my girl want some alone time....but she won't leave.
All three of us take a cab to a bar near my apartment. In the cab, my girl takes my hand and slides it under her panties. I'm entertaining the C0ckBlock while secretly fingerbanging my girl.
We get out of the cab, go to a bar, and the girls go into the bathroom together. Five minutes later, they exit the bathroom. My Girl says, "I just started feeling bad. Sorry, but I think I'll head home." The C0ckblock says, "I'm going to go with her." They both leave the bar in a hurry...I'm standing there looking dumb.
My night went from 60mph to 0 right there. My chick sends me a few texts when she gets home, apologizing for leaving so quickly. Blah blah. And my Saturday night is over before I even got 4 beers in me.
So lesson learned. Never put yourself in a position to get c0ckblocked. Until you've banged your girl a few times, do NOT get stuck on dates with her and her friend. You're just creating obstacles for yourself.