Letting go of the one

[dj_inprogress]

Have your ever broken up with a girl that you had been in a LTR(+6) because you wanted to date other people? Later on realizing that she may have been the best one.

 

[Crazystarf]

6 years is a huge time gap in regards to evaluating someone. If you haven't realized that she's completely right for you or not in that time, it means that you probably deserve better than what you have.

Even if you think she was the best one, eventually a better one will come across.

 

[JohnChops]

I always go by the saying , there isn't one right girl for you but many right girls out there for you. The one doesn't exist but exists in many girls.

 

[pdx1138]

Agreed. Lose "the one" type of thinking. There is no "one". Just a person the way they are when you meet.

Even if you think she is, you might marry/have kids/ and both of you may change over the years
and be divorced within ten years....then she really wasn't, was she?

 

[JohnChops]

I think that there is no "one" for the exact opposite reason. There are a very small number of girls that even qualify for an ltr much less are attracted to you also. But even within that small group, none of them are the "one" because women are women and should never be pedestalized.

I agree , maybe my wording is a bit off . My point being there isnt such thing as the "one" is the bottom line.

Good thing for us "small group" out of about 3.5 billion girls means 100,000s of girls are still attracted to us. Keeping it positive you know

 

[dj_inprogress]

Thank you all for the sound advice.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

What you are experiencing is buyer's remorse in reverse.

Buyer's remorse is when you finally get the girl and then realize she was not all you thought she was. Or, she gets you and then she decides shortly after you are not her cup of tea.

When you break up in a LTR, you sometimes start to feel that maybe you made a bad decision. This will be probably in the first week or two.

And it can linger on if you do not find new women to date, have sex with, etc.

Now, it is possible that your ex-gf was a really good match for you and maybe you acted rashly in dumping her. Few quality women are out there. But, there is no "one" and, yes, there are more quality women in fact out there.

Many of us have experienced this sort of post-hoc questioning of our decisions. It's perfectly natural.

But, here's what NOT to do: If it turns out you decide that you made a mistake and want her back, DO NOT CHASE HER. I made that mistake once and wasted 3 years of my life trying to get an ex-gf back. She had all the power and I turned total chode. It was embarrassing.

So, suck it up and move forward. If she comes back, think about it carefully.

 

[ScottMustaine]

Think carefully before making decision.

Is your gf becoming fat etc. Not satisfied with her look ?

- Make an activity to work out together ( if she's getting fat)


Is she a b1tch ?

Or you are simply bored?


I ditched once a girl who was really nice to me , because we lacked a bit of communication and she was 'boring'. I crushed her and regretted later.

She's in 2 year LTR now. Kinda happy for her. But I'm not for myself.