AAAgent had a great post. It's deceptively simple too...most people don't achieve dreams because they are HARD, and it take too much time for their liking. Hence the massive debt levels that are acceptable in America today, and a lot of 30-40 somethings who have "decent" lives, but not lives that are really compelling and fulfilling to them.
I'll use my graduate work as an analogy. I worked really hard (aka LONG) just to GET IN to grad school. I grinded away, day after day, year after year, taking classes I didn't wanna take, doing internships I didn't wanna do, and filling out countless applications along with thousands of dollars in fees. When I finally got to the interview process, I got ONE interview, was wait listed, and didn't get in. Boom, another full year setback. So more working at a dead-end research job to bolster my resume, more applications, more writing. The next year I really got my ducks in order early and got a half dozen interviews right off the bat. I ended up getting in to a top tier program, not because I had a stellar GPA or amazing test scores, but because I did things for years that other people weren't willing to do. I volunteered, did silly internships, took the MCATs twice, humbled myself in front of big time physicians, all just to get my foot in the door. At times it was super depressing. My friends did 'easier' grad programs and were getting jobs, engaged, houses, etc....and here I was grinding away at a $15/hr job at 27 years old.
But now, fast forward 3.5 years, after getting though 2 solid years of SUCKAGE in grad school, almost not making it, having a terrible first job....I'm doing pretty well. I'm finally starting to realize the dreams and goals I had envisioned for myself 7 or 8 years ago. I make a good living, I work an awesome schedule and I'm never on call. In my free time I lift weights, hike, backpack, snowshoe, climb, and smoke herb at my leisure. I have a sweet girlfriend in part because of Game and my own personal development. I am living in the region I want to live in, and I pick up new "micro-hobbies" all the time.
Granted, there is still a LOT I want to do, but all of this has taught me why more people aren't happy or perceive themselves as successful: Because they aren't willing to endure temporary hardships and discomfort for long term gain. It's also taught me that goals are relative, and they should only matter to YOU. There were people in my class 7 years younger than me who had been academic standouts their whole life and made all the right steps and had all the family and financial support they needed. Yeah, school was hard for them too, but for me realizing a big goal was so much sweeter because I started from scratch, started late, and was completely self-made.
So anyways, not tooting my own horn here----there are people way more educated than me making way more money than me, but the point is I did what I set out to do by grinding through the low-grade misery and discomfort and not quitting. It sucked balls, but I have the type of lifestyle I want now, and essentially have locked myself into a high-paying profession for life, provided I maintain my credentials and don't job-hop.
So Mr. Beta, grab your nuts and start doing things you may not want to do so you can reap the dividends in the future.
And, as a side note, you may not have been implicitly looking for marriage advice, but I'm not sure you understand the implications of being a beta inside of a marriage. Just food for thought.
