Letter from JP Morgan CEO to Gold Diggers - MUST READ

Sonny Knight

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 18, 2012
Messages
93
Reaction score
17
A letter from JP Morgan CEO To Gold Diggers


This might be the best thing I’ve seen in a while:

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.
I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty" and “money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO
 

Ronaldo7

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
803
Reaction score
178
This is gold from a businessman's point of view.
 

HoneyHitter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Messages
500
Reaction score
202
Age
43
Read this one before. Still golden!:up:
 

Fatal Jay

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 26, 2012
Messages
1,738
Reaction score
115
I been telling you guys on this board since I got here men will always have more value then women. Yes women start off having more value in their teens and twenties, but guys as we get older have more value because the women beauty fades.
 

BigSmooth

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2011
Messages
375
Reaction score
17
Location
Texas
Highly doubt Jamie Dimon wrote this. It's still funny and accurate though.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,277
Reaction score
234
Location
NYC
I doubt that the real CEO wrote this, nonetheless is was well written. And 500K in NYC is not petty cash. Don't be fooled. That's a good salary that you can live with, go on vacation with, and have a car with. NYers feel free to chime in on this.

All of these fücking bıtches (that enrage me to no end) want supreme pampering as per whatever reality show they are watching this week. They see the Real Housewives of this and that and Basketball Wives and want that life regardless of how much it will cost Mr. Richdude.

This whole notion of "I am pretty, therefore I deserve only the best in life" has gotten so out of hand that it's mind numbing. If only I could throw 1 million red pills off the Empire State Building directly into the mouths of chumps I would.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,105
Reaction score
4,715
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
It was definitely not written by the CEO.

Very true and funny post though.

Women want something they didn't earn. If she's a successful high earning woman who wants an equal or even a guy making more, I can totally respect that. But if she's a starving artist, sorry, the world doesn't owe her anything.
 

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,114
Reaction score
136
Age
43
Location
Manhattan, NY
BigSmooth said:
Highly doubt Jamie Dimon wrote this. It's still funny and accurate though.
Why not? Because of the spelling errors and the fact that a CEO doesn't waste his time writing to random broads on an internet message board?


Sincerely,

Iceberg
CEO of Google and Facebook
 

Zarky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2010
Messages
3,231
Reaction score
89
Location
SoCal
OP's "letter" has been going 'round the internet for years now. Possibly a decade or more. Which is why the income number ($500K) is so low.
 

BigSmooth

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2011
Messages
375
Reaction score
17
Location
Texas
Iceberg said:
Why not? Because of the spelling errors and the fact that a CEO doesn't waste his time writing to random broads on an internet message board?


Sincerely,

Iceberg
CEO of Google and Facebook
Because J.P Morgan isn't prestigious enough. That peasant Jamie can't even afford a computer.



Regards,

BigSmooth
CEO of Goldman Sachs
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

PlayHer Man

Banned
Joined
Dec 22, 2012
Messages
1,708
Reaction score
189
Location
East Coast USA
Women need some new tricks. Being an obvious gold digger makes it very hard to actually find gold.

You don't go fishing with a naked hook. You put a worm on it.

Dumb b!tch :crackup: :crackup:
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,715
Reaction score
6,654
Age
67
Location
The 7th Dimension
Not only that, but the author is probably not a native English speaker.
 
Top