Let's settle this once and for all: machine on the 1st phone call

[Rev]

I know this issue has been discussed ad nauseum but this hopefully will resolve it permenently, at least for me, as I have experienced 100% flake out results (no date) from girls who I # closed with (and that has been more than a few). The way I see it, there are 3 options.

1. Block your # and don't leave a message. This way, when you finally reach her she will see that the # is blocked and that she had already gotten 1 or more calls from a blocked #. Chick passes judgement that you are creepy, perverted stalker.
2. Don't block your # and don't leave a message. When you finally reach her, she will know that you have called 1 or more times already. Girl concludes that you are reeeeaaaally trying to call her and therefore she is worthy of someone better than you.
3. Leave a brief message like "Hi, this is Rev. I'm at 555-5555." This one sounds the best to me. It's over before you can trip over your d!ck and leaves her with very little to judge you by. Also, now the ball is in her court but if she doesn't call back, you can call her again if you want to.
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[Howie Farkes]

I will usually just leave a message such as:

"Hey there X, this is Howie, guess I'll try to get in contact with you some other time, see ya."

Then I'll leave it up to them to phone me back (usually I give them my number when I get theirs). Girls with high IL will always call back within 24hrs - even though I haven't asked them to they do it anyway. The ones that don't call back have missed the boat.

And I just think it's a bit rude to not leave a message if you get someone's voice mail (I know I hate it when people do it me).

 

[krd]

I've stressed out about this too, way too many times.

Usually, when I get a machine I hang up. Then I hope and pray that someone will pick up next time I call. Because if you leave a message, like you said, the ball is in her court. Plus if you leave a crappy message and sound really stupid, there's no way you can take it back.

However, if you call too many times in an attempt to finally reach her, and she has caller ID (which nearly everybody has nowadays), then you'll look like a desperate fool, and she may think you've got nothing else going for you.

And blocking your number makes you look like a creep.

I absolutely hate calling on the phone, because there are so many opportunities for you to screw everything up and ruin your chances. But I know that in many cases, this is the only way to reach a girl, especially if you don't see her every day. It's almost like you can't win either way--you just have to keep your fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong.

 

[Survivor]

One brief message is the most mature way to go. Either she was impressed when she first met you or she wasn't. There are times when persistence is NOT a virtue and this is one of them.

Answering machines do not erase themselves.

 

[Quick]

Hi, this is Quick. You can call me back at 555-5555 or I'll just call you back tomorrow. See you.

 

[Rev]

Bump

I'll see if I can get a few more votes.

BTW, those of you who vote option 2 (no message), how many times will you leave your # on her caller ID when you still haven't reached her? And, how long a time do you space out the calls?

It seems to me that if you're not prepared to get her machine/voice mail more than once then a very breif message is best.

I like your breif messages, Howie and Quick. edit: Of course then you forget/are too busy for a couple days.

 

[Bonhomme]

Leaving a brief message is best.

If it's her phone. If she has housemates or lives with her parents, definitely say you'll call back. Don't assume she'll get the message if the phone is shared with others.

The ones with high interest who get your message will call back. If it's long-distance, it's good tell her you'll call back if she has a land line and your finances are better than hers. She might not be able to afford a lot of long-distance calls.

 

[STR8UP]

I don't do machines until enough interest has been established to warrant her calling you back.

You can't assume that you have created enough interest when first getting the #. Sometimes the REAL rapport comes from the first phone convo. If you make her laugh and get along well she WILL want to know more about you and WILL return your calls when you leave a message. Just don't rely on ONE meeting to create enough interest everytime.

Also, NEVER leave a message with a friend, roomate, relative, or whatever on the first contact. NEVER had one call back.

 

[crackhead]

Funny how phone ettiquite has changed so much. Before caller ID, it was very normal to not leave a message on someone's machine, but now it's instant stalker status.

Leaving a brief, smooth message is definitely the best option. It does put the ball in the girl's court, but isn't that where you want it? If she aint grabbin it, it's NEXT right? That's what the law of dj would say.

 

[Slickster]

Good post

 

[chronus]

since i only call in order to set up a date, as i am not a very good phone conversationalist (i prefer talking in person), i'll usually just say, "hey, it's me. i'm going here at this time, so if you're coming just call me back." that seems to decide whether she's interested or not (either that or it shows whether or not she even checks her messages). it's worked so far.