Let's get a consensus on IGNORING

[TheCWord]

Some SS'ers will periodically ignore texts/calls/emails/etc from a girl - saying that's how you keep the hamster spinning.

Some SS'ers will never ignore, but definitely take their time in replying - saying that the quality girls will walk away if ignored too often, and mixing up response times is enough for the hamster.

To ignore or not ignore?

Edit: Either approach is acceptable if it comes from a genuine place - i.e. you are super busy and forget to reply or take a long time to do so. I'm asking about the times when you don't have as much going on and you have to game a little bit to keep up that IL.

 

[cola]

I'm interested in this too..
For instance I've recently turned a female friend into a friend with benefits,
with the promise of becoming a couple if we get to know each other and it feels right

But she has a nasty habit of going hours between texts..
So today I said to myself I won't initiate contact today, so she texts me around 4 and so i bite and reply, then no response for over 3 hours


Then I just had an epiphany.. what type of sisified man stays glued to his phone waiting for a text or call?
I mean shouldn't us men be genuinely busy? Staying fit, making extra money for our hobbies and actually having hobbies?

If you are purposely ignoring calls and texts just to play childish mind games that makes you a lame and childish..
but we should strive to be genuinely busy so that we arent needy and waiting on her to call/text you

 

[TheException]

I'm asking about the times when you don't have as much going on and you have to game a little bit to keep up that IL.

If you have to PURPOSELY wait or ignore a girl in an attempt to increase attraction....your doing it wrong...thats not seduction.

Just dont be attached to your phone. I have friends that facebook and play candy crush 24/7....pathetic. One thing you can do....is not have your phone on you when you are doing something. For instance when i go golfing or workout...my phone stays in the car. Im concentrating on what im doing so i dont have time to check my phone even if it was on me.

Dont ever ignore a girl for like 30 mins just because some PUA said you should take double the time to respond as she does....i think its super AFC/chumpy. Theres times where I will be working on the computer and I will get a text from a girl....read it...and put it down and respond WHEN IM FINISHED WITH WHAT IM DOING. But thats not ignoring her just because I want to "seem busy"....I ACTUALLY AM BUSY. Savy?

 

[SteepleChase]

I'm asking about the times when you don't have as much going on and you have to game a little bit to keep up that IL.

If you have to PURPOSELY wait or ignore a girl in an attempt to increase attraction....your doing it wrong...thats not seduction.

Just dont be attached to your phone. I have friends that facebook and play candy crush 24/7....pathetic. One thing you can do....is not have your phone on you when you are doing something. For instance when i go golfing or workout...my phone stays in the car. Im concentrating on what im doing so i dont have time to check my phone even if it was on me.

Dont ever ignore a girl for like 30 mins just because some PUA said you should take double the time to respond as she does....i think its super AFC/chumpy. Theres times where I will be working on the computer and I will get a text from a girl....read it...and put it down and respond WHEN IM FINISHED WITH WHAT IM DOING. But thats not ignoring her just because I want to "seem busy"....I ACTUALLY AM BUSY. Savy?

Yo don't make fun of Candy Crush bro.


But seriously, purposely ignoring a girl is totally AFC.

You should respond to her sporadically because of your true lifestyle...not because you're sitting there on the toilet taking a dump with a stopwatch waiting for it to hit 30mins.

 

[Uncharted]

For texting, I usually text back within 20-30 minutes unless I'm actually busy and don't want to text back. Sometimes I get the text but don't feel like replying right away. I don't purposely check a clock, I just keep busy. If I'm not busy, then I would reply within a few minutes. If a girl has high interest who cares how long she waits between texts.

As far as ignoring in person, when I first got here and read the bible, I would ignore someone completely if they ignored me. Now I'm different. I purposely tease them if they ignore me.

Example: I was flirting with a girl in class a few days in a week. Then one day we were standing in a group and she was ignoring me. Wouldn't make eye contact, just totally ignoring me. So I just walk over and put my arm around her and I'm like "hey whats up Christina??" with a big smile on my face and I locked onto her eyes. She smiled back and she was fine from that point on. Turns out she was nervous (she told me that on our first date). I thought she was playing games. Doesn't matter because if I was the "old me" I would have ignored her and probably never gotten a date.

Don't take stuff too seriously. Most of the time these girls have no idea what they're doing anyway. They're used to AFC's fawning all over them and being clingy. Just don't be that type of guy and as long as she has some interest and she's single you should be good.

 

[synergy1]

ignoring women doesn't work around here. It just won't. But sometimes neither will initiating because it looks like you have no plans. As someone else said, you have to have plans and really try and fit women in when you can. I find not having plans lately that its actually killing my game...its easier to date when I have to really find time to date. Wierd, but true.

 

[handle]

Let me speak on this as a guy who works the cold/aloof thing...

I usually take anywhere from like 2 hours to 12+ hours to text people back. This includes my own friends. If you want to get through, CALL. Sometimes if a girl is particularly interesting to me and impatient I will be more responsive. Inevitably, the impatient girls are the ones I don't get very serious with because I can't stand people who need constant connectivity. A pretty common theme is:

-I don't answer (or take forever to answer) "crucial" text
-Girl gets pissed off
-Later on we have sex or whatever
-After sex she admits she was pissed that I didn't answer

... Note that usually it does annoy the fk out of them, but they deal with it. Some women will not. That's ok, they can go fk the guy who checks his phone. I don't care. If you really want to bone as many chicks as possible, you might have to be flexible with your "answering style." But you only want to fuk cool chicks who don't annoy the fuk out of you, right?



As other posters have mentioned, you should be BUSY. But on top of that I just generally don't feel that text messages are meant to be timely. I'll read them, chill for a bit, then if/when I feel like answering I answer. It's not a "game" I'm playing, it's just how I am.

I've watched friends who do very well with women engage in long text conversations with girls. I call them crazy for having text conversations, they ask me how I manage to get away with not answering. I think some girls really do respond well to the more constantly communicative guys, but I'm just not one of them. I think I get certain girls that the "always connected" dudes aren't getting.

... And of course, this all just applies to texts. Most of the time I will answer calls.

 

[The_411]

The key is to not to ignore but respond when you want. You should never respond because you feel some pressure to respond or because you think she'll get upset, because then you are kowtowing to her whims and you are no longer maintaining your frame.

If she says something that pisses you off then don't respond. Don't feel like texting don't respond. Your hands are tired don't respond. You're boning some other chick don't respond etc.

Texting should only be for getting directions and setting dates or real quick messages.

Better way to think of it is that texting does not have kino. Think of what happens when you try escalate with no kino doesn't go so well does it.

 

[instantnoodles]

Some SS'ers will periodically ignore texts/calls/emails/etc from a girl - saying that's how you keep the hamster spinning.

Some SS'ers will never ignore, but definitely take their time in replying - saying that the quality girls will walk away if ignored too often, and mixing up response times is enough for the hamster.

To ignore or not ignore?

Edit: Either approach is acceptable if it comes from a genuine place - i.e. you are super busy and forget to reply or take a long time to do so. I'm asking about the times when you don't have as much going on and you have to game a little bit to keep up that IL.

Oh, here you go again. Another "ignore" thread. Waa haa haa.

You need to have some sense knocked into you. Just because you have a super power, are you gonna use it all the time for nothing, because you CAN?

You're right, a good girl will stop feeding YOUR hamster because you ignored her. Depending on whatever you have with this girl, YOU need to use your brain and decide whether ignoring her is a good idea, and the possible outcomes.

 

[TheCWord]

Can I rep everyone in this thread? Great responses.

 

[PlayHer Man]

There are only TWO situations I ignore a girl:

1. I'm 99% sure I can't f*ck her.

2. I'm with another girl at the time.

I'm not a big fan of head games. If a girl wants my time and I'm available, I'll give it to her. But if she starts acting stupid and playing games of her own.. she will be pushed to the back of the line and be low priority in my rotation.

 

[JBB84]

Just don't always respond right away. Don't overanalyze it too much. I will text back and forth a few times. I am honestly busy most of the time and don't feel like having "text conversations," but its good to touch base with a girl you are trying to get closer to and let her know you aren't shady or playing games. Use your common sense. My best advice is to switch up response time, and if its natural - even better.