In David DeAngelo's recent newletter he discusses the fact that as a man you should NEVER admit verbally that you like a woman. He says that, "TELLING her is bad because it takes the MAGIC, the SUSPENSE, the MYSTERY, and the SEXUAL TENSION out of the situation."
I agree 100% with that statement and I believe it's very true. David goes on further to explain that instead of verbally reassuring your woman instead escalate things physically. He says, "If you want a woman to know that you like her, the best way is to have her FIGURE IT OUT by the fact that you guys are getting PHYSICALLY INVOLVED."
I'm not sure if I completely agree with this aspect of his argument. Women are emotional creatures that often, but not always, need to be reassured that the person they are involved with continues to have feelings for them and enjoys them. You can incorporate these feelings into your date with your girl by making things enjoyable and subtly hinting that you're having a good time either physically or verbally, etc. You just have to know your game and not come right out and spill every fleeting thought in your mind.. which typically reveals way too much information - which can typically result in her losing interest and killing off that all important aspect of attraction.
Now with the trivial points of dating a girl out of the way, let's talk about the aspects of a long term relationship and more important - somebody who you care about.
I have been searching for girls who meet my specific criteria for some time now. I've next-ed so many girls just because they didn't meet my basic requirements and needs. However, finally, I have found somebody who is worth keeping. Our relationship is very stable. We don't see each other too much, we don't talk to each other too much, we have great sex, we have an amazing connection, we are intuitive to each others needs for the most part. Everything is in balance so that attraction, interest, and all that good stuff is just enough, but not too much. It's like we've perfected our recipe for our relationship, although I won't be so bold or ignorant to say that seriously. She is definitely a keeper in my eyes and everyone else that knows her would be stupid to say she isn't. She's totally into me - She's washed my car, organizes thoughtful dates, cooks me food for no special reason, she has even bought my friends a really nice cookie cake for a friend of mine who we make fun of because he loves cookies so much. We're very affectionate towards one another. It seems we can't keep our hands off of each other. She's done countless selfless acts of caring. If I had one word to describe her I would use amazing - because she is.
Now the issue: We all are aware of the fateful L word. No, not lust.. love. Love develops at different times for different people, as we're all aware of. Or maybe most of us anyway.. anyway, back to the point. It seems to me that when the word love is used in a relationship is it either a step of progression or it can be a million steps back. It seems like you either hit or miss when someone reveals that they love someone. I care about this girl so much, and I know she has strong feelings for me. We've been dating for a short time period of two months. I don't feel the need to go on to explain or qualify myself that two months is enough to reveal that I care about this person because that's just the way I feel.
But I don't know how to go on to take this step. I'm cautious for several reason. One: She was in a past relationship for nearly a year with a guy and they said they loved each other once. However, this relationship was sour, and you'll just have to take my word for it that it's amazing that the word love ever popped up in that relationship. The guy was a total and complete dud and I say this without any bias. I'm still reluctant to reveal that I love her because of this. She told me that she never loved this guy and when he said that he loved her she said it back, but didn't mean it. So I'm curious if she would use the same thing against me if I were to reveal that I love her. Now the second problem is this: Should I even reveal that I love her? Would that be taking a step back, or even a fateful step? Let's not forget David's advice. Although does it still apply at this point? I'm not sure that it does. I know this is a difficult question to answer with such limited knowledge about her, but.. I just feel like if I don't say it first she'll be too shy to ever bring it up. She is shy like that and is VERY conscious about what she says around me. She's always worried that I'll think she's dumb or not feel the same way about something. So I doubt that she'll be the first to say it. I want to take things to the next level though.. so it's just a big mess. Any advice?
I agree 100% with that statement and I believe it's very true. David goes on further to explain that instead of verbally reassuring your woman instead escalate things physically. He says, "If you want a woman to know that you like her, the best way is to have her FIGURE IT OUT by the fact that you guys are getting PHYSICALLY INVOLVED."
I'm not sure if I completely agree with this aspect of his argument. Women are emotional creatures that often, but not always, need to be reassured that the person they are involved with continues to have feelings for them and enjoys them. You can incorporate these feelings into your date with your girl by making things enjoyable and subtly hinting that you're having a good time either physically or verbally, etc. You just have to know your game and not come right out and spill every fleeting thought in your mind.. which typically reveals way too much information - which can typically result in her losing interest and killing off that all important aspect of attraction.
Now with the trivial points of dating a girl out of the way, let's talk about the aspects of a long term relationship and more important - somebody who you care about.
I have been searching for girls who meet my specific criteria for some time now. I've next-ed so many girls just because they didn't meet my basic requirements and needs. However, finally, I have found somebody who is worth keeping. Our relationship is very stable. We don't see each other too much, we don't talk to each other too much, we have great sex, we have an amazing connection, we are intuitive to each others needs for the most part. Everything is in balance so that attraction, interest, and all that good stuff is just enough, but not too much. It's like we've perfected our recipe for our relationship, although I won't be so bold or ignorant to say that seriously. She is definitely a keeper in my eyes and everyone else that knows her would be stupid to say she isn't. She's totally into me - She's washed my car, organizes thoughtful dates, cooks me food for no special reason, she has even bought my friends a really nice cookie cake for a friend of mine who we make fun of because he loves cookies so much. We're very affectionate towards one another. It seems we can't keep our hands off of each other. She's done countless selfless acts of caring. If I had one word to describe her I would use amazing - because she is.
Now the issue: We all are aware of the fateful L word. No, not lust.. love. Love develops at different times for different people, as we're all aware of. Or maybe most of us anyway.. anyway, back to the point. It seems to me that when the word love is used in a relationship is it either a step of progression or it can be a million steps back. It seems like you either hit or miss when someone reveals that they love someone. I care about this girl so much, and I know she has strong feelings for me. We've been dating for a short time period of two months. I don't feel the need to go on to explain or qualify myself that two months is enough to reveal that I care about this person because that's just the way I feel.
But I don't know how to go on to take this step. I'm cautious for several reason. One: She was in a past relationship for nearly a year with a guy and they said they loved each other once. However, this relationship was sour, and you'll just have to take my word for it that it's amazing that the word love ever popped up in that relationship. The guy was a total and complete dud and I say this without any bias. I'm still reluctant to reveal that I love her because of this. She told me that she never loved this guy and when he said that he loved her she said it back, but didn't mean it. So I'm curious if she would use the same thing against me if I were to reveal that I love her. Now the second problem is this: Should I even reveal that I love her? Would that be taking a step back, or even a fateful step? Let's not forget David's advice. Although does it still apply at this point? I'm not sure that it does. I know this is a difficult question to answer with such limited knowledge about her, but.. I just feel like if I don't say it first she'll be too shy to ever bring it up. She is shy like that and is VERY conscious about what she says around me. She's always worried that I'll think she's dumb or not feel the same way about something. So I doubt that she'll be the first to say it. I want to take things to the next level though.. so it's just a big mess. Any advice?