ok basically just came out of a year and a half relationship i'm in a bit of a messed up place in my head at the moment and slipped badly into some AFC ways!! so any advice you guys can give is great, although i'm sure its been done in many other threads!
basically started seeing this girl at uni, she was in my sports club and we have to train to a serious level everyday so don't get to go clubbing very often etc to meet people. We saw each other everyday, stayed over every evening etc and hadn't realised how over the top this was until now! it scares me how many people of uni age act like they are practically married,never away from each other and neglecting their friends(never noticed until the breakup). Anyway i broke up with her about 6 months ago after going with someone else while drunk and realising i could get hotter girls. I wouldn't say she is the most attractive girl in the world and a slightly big build,due to the sport and i would say she's a 5 or 6. anyway she wouldn't let me go,constantly contacted etc and we got back together after a month as i realised it was still what i wanted, anyway we spent alot of time apart over the summer due to different holidays and she is now living 30mins away but extremely busy with work. She was acting funny for the month since i came back,rally flakey and i knew it was coming but she broke it off a few weeks ago. However shes confused about what she really wants and felt she was letting me down by only seeing me maybe once at the weekend sort of thing and says she needs space for a bit. However shes texting but says it will take her more than a few weeks to sort her head out.
Anyway i'm going to list the problems :
.The year we were constantly together turned me into a massive AFC, you become complacent in the relationship and make very little effort, don't fall into this trap!
.I'm so confused as to whether its her i want or the comfort of that LTR that i miss.
.I'm from a religious family and shouldn't have been having the relationship(sex /sleeping in same bed) but getting back into religion will be such a shock to the system, a relationship will seem empty(eg not being able to sleep i the same bed)
. I compete at a high sporting level so going out clubbing and finding girls isn't a frequent option, and girls have it so much easier if they just come out of a relationship as they can throw themselves at a horny guy, guys actually have to do a bit of work, *****es!
Basically i'm so damn confused at the moment, i know your all going to say next etc but its harder than that in reality if you fell into the AFC trap and this person became your best friend and girlfriend, don't neglect your friends!
i understand what she's going through as so much everyone is moving on and i went through the same doubts when i broke it off with her a while back.
Its just so damn lonely coming out of it when most of my good friends are all in LTR's and i'm watching them fall into the same trap i did of spending all their time with their girlfriends!
I realise this is some serious AFC crap but i think some other perspectives on it are what i need when my heads so messed up.
basically started seeing this girl at uni, she was in my sports club and we have to train to a serious level everyday so don't get to go clubbing very often etc to meet people. We saw each other everyday, stayed over every evening etc and hadn't realised how over the top this was until now! it scares me how many people of uni age act like they are practically married,never away from each other and neglecting their friends(never noticed until the breakup). Anyway i broke up with her about 6 months ago after going with someone else while drunk and realising i could get hotter girls. I wouldn't say she is the most attractive girl in the world and a slightly big build,due to the sport and i would say she's a 5 or 6. anyway she wouldn't let me go,constantly contacted etc and we got back together after a month as i realised it was still what i wanted, anyway we spent alot of time apart over the summer due to different holidays and she is now living 30mins away but extremely busy with work. She was acting funny for the month since i came back,rally flakey and i knew it was coming but she broke it off a few weeks ago. However shes confused about what she really wants and felt she was letting me down by only seeing me maybe once at the weekend sort of thing and says she needs space for a bit. However shes texting but says it will take her more than a few weeks to sort her head out.
Anyway i'm going to list the problems :
.The year we were constantly together turned me into a massive AFC, you become complacent in the relationship and make very little effort, don't fall into this trap!
.I'm so confused as to whether its her i want or the comfort of that LTR that i miss.
.I'm from a religious family and shouldn't have been having the relationship(sex /sleeping in same bed) but getting back into religion will be such a shock to the system, a relationship will seem empty(eg not being able to sleep i the same bed)
. I compete at a high sporting level so going out clubbing and finding girls isn't a frequent option, and girls have it so much easier if they just come out of a relationship as they can throw themselves at a horny guy, guys actually have to do a bit of work, *****es!
Basically i'm so damn confused at the moment, i know your all going to say next etc but its harder than that in reality if you fell into the AFC trap and this person became your best friend and girlfriend, don't neglect your friends!
i understand what she's going through as so much everyone is moving on and i went through the same doubts when i broke it off with her a while back.
Its just so damn lonely coming out of it when most of my good friends are all in LTR's and i'm watching them fall into the same trap i did of spending all their time with their girlfriends!
I realise this is some serious AFC crap but i think some other perspectives on it are what i need when my heads so messed up.