Let the Marital Issues Begin

[jaymbrs]

My best friend only married 3 years is already having big marital issues. Why? Because his wife wants to be the alpha of the family. She recently got a new job and it's motivated her to reach the upper echelon in her career. All while sacrificing her time spent at home with the 2 kids she had with some other guy and the 1 she has with my friend. Who is to blame here? My friend who is being forced into a cuck position since her salary now exceeds his and he has to spend time playing housewife? Or is it the suddenly motivated wife who is now using my friend to step on in order to reach her personal goals? Life's a trip. I told this dude not to marry her. But he thought she was the one who would do anything for him. Til she now found her own success.

 

[Grinderman]

I don't envy your friend. Sounds like a suffocating situation.

Freedom, success, happiness......may nobody infringe them on you.

 

[RickTheToad]

My best friend only married 3 years is already having big marital issues. Why? Because his wife wants to be the alpha of the family. She recently got a new job and it's motivated her to reach the upper echelon in her career. All while sacrificing her time spent at home with the 2 kids she had with some other guy and the 1 she has with my friend. Who is to blame here? My friend who is being forced into a cuck position since her salary now exceeds his and he has to spend time playing housewife? Or is it the suddenly motivated wife who is now using my friend to step on in order to reach her personal goals? Life's a trip. I told this dude not to marry her. But he thought she was the one who would do anything for him. Til she now found her own success.

100% his fault. We teach play around with single mom's, not have children and marry him. We reap what we sow.

 

[jaymbrs]

It's funny, I often hear about finding someone to grow with. My personal thought is to grow on your own time and when you're done find another grown person.

 

[MoMoses]

I don't envy your friend. Sounds like a suffocating situation.

Me neither

But it can definitely work!

I have quite a few friends who are married to women who make way more than them (a doctor, lawyer and professor, while my friends are a trucker, high school teacher and factory worker).

However, all three of them are still in charge. They are the pater familias. They're family men and their families always come first, but when decisions have to be made they make them. And when they wanna hang out with me or other friends, they go and hang out. They don't wait for a permission. They treat their wives with respect, but none of them lets their wife become the dominant one.

It's very clear to me that this kind of mindset is key to the success of their relationships. I mean.. in one case the woman makes 5 times the monthly wage of her husband. 5 times! When they go somewhere he drives her mercedes and not the other way around.

But I'm with Grinderman on this one, it wouldn't be for me. I'd feel a bit castrated. Maybe says more about my ego than about these kind of relationships.

 

[Max Baker]

That's just another example that nothing ever stays the same. Rarely things improve, usually LTR or marriages stagnate and get worse over time.

Glad I'm not in any of those.

 

[jimwho]

Walked into a minefield. Nothing you can do but wait for the implosion. This was hard to read. That's the reality.

 

[Lookatu]

with the 2 kids she had with some other guy and the 1 she has with my friend.

My friend who is being forced into a cuck position since her salary now exceeds his and he has to spend time playing housewife?

First mistake is marrying someone that already had 2 kids with someone else.

Salaries don't mean $hit if you know how to handle women and not have that affect you as @MoMoses said. But some guys often go beta, lose frame, or let discipline slide when their gals earn more then them.

At the same time, some women will let their salaries and positions go to their head too and if the male isn't strong enough to curb that type of behavior early on, it could be a losing proposition.

The trick is to be a pimp and not a ho. She needs to be the ho bringing you money. If you're losing frame and control because somehow her making more has affected you psychologically, you just demoted yourself to a ho.

If you do everything right, at worst she may get her way on how money is spent on trivial things like vacations, stuff for kids, clothes/shoes, etc. that you might've been able to control more before. My $.02

 

[RickTheToad]

First mistake is marrying someone that already had 2 kids with someone else.

Salaries don't mean $hit if you know how to handle women and not have that affect you as @MoMoses said. But some guys often go beta, lose frame, or let discipline slide when their gals earn more then them.

At the same time, some women will let their salaries and positions go to their head too and if the male isn't strong enough to curb that type of behavior early on, it could be a losing proposition.

The trick is to be a pimp and not a ho. She needs to be the ho bringing you money. If you're losing frame and control because somehow her making more has affected you psychologically, you just demoted yourself to a ho.

If you do everything right, at worst she may get her way on how money is spent on trivial things like vacations, stuff for kids, clothes/shoes, etc. that you might've been able to control more before. My $.02

Or better... Just don't play that game.

SINGLE MOMS ARE FOR FUN AND PRACTICE ONLY!!!!!!

 

[SW15]

SINGLE MOMS ARE FOR FUN AND PRACTICE ONLY!!!!!!

First mistake is marrying someone that already had 2 kids with someone else.

Salaries don't mean $hit if you know how to handle women and not have that affect you as @MoMoses said. But some guys often go beta, lose frame, or let discipline slide when their gals earn more then them.

Yes!!!!

 

[jaymbrs]

First mistake is marrying someone that already had 2 kids with someone else.

Salaries don't mean $hit if you know how to handle women and not have that affect you as @MoMoses said. But some guys often go beta, lose frame, or let discipline slide when their gals earn more then them.

At the same time, some women will let their salaries and positions go to their head too and if the male isn't strong enough to curb that type of behavior early on, it could be a losing proposition.

The trick is to be a pimp and not a ho. She needs to be the ho bringing you money. If you're losing frame and control because somehow her making more has affected you psychologically, you just demoted yourself to a ho.

If you do everything right, at worst she may get her way on how money is spent on trivial things like vacations, stuff for kids, clothes/shoes, etc. that you might've been able to control more before. My $.02

It's moreso her position. She's in a leadership role and brings that home where they often bump heads. He just spilled his guts about it over the weekend when we hungout. Personally, it's more about him not wanting to deal with it than be a beta. He's definitely been the man of the house but it seems now she wants that role and he's not bowing down to her ****.

 

[logicallefty]

She in her mid 30s?

 

[Dash Riprock]

That whole scenario would be my ultimate nightmare.

If things got really bad, your friend could divorce her and probably collect alimony if she makes more than him. A guy on my softball team is collecting from an ex wife. Feels emasculating, though.

 

[Grinderman]

Feels emasculating, though.

I agree. We don't want to be like them. Because we are not.

It's funny, I often hear about finding someone to grow with. My personal thought is to grow on your own time and when you're done find another grown person.

Totally agree. You ofter see threads on "why relationships don't work", the simple fact is if the two who enter a relationship are not already fully independent ADULTS with their inner games sorted out the relationship is doomed. Majority of relationships arrive at an inevitable place of disharmony and pain due to one or both parties being CODEPENDENT which results in the relationship itself taking on a toxic, energy sucking dynamic.

"...that's why we d!ck 'em down, then toss they @ss to the side of the road."

The AMS videos that you are binge watching and the amount of time you spend on sosuve are having an effect on your ego. You need to find a way to balance this out before you crash and burn.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

My best friend only married 3 years is already having big marital issues. Why? Because his wife wants to be the alpha of the family. She recently got a new job and it's motivated her to reach the upper echelon in her career. All while sacrificing her time spent at home with the 2 kids she had with some other guy and the 1 she has with my friend. Who is to blame here? My friend who is being forced into a cuck position since her salary now exceeds his and he has to spend time playing housewife? Or is it the suddenly motivated wife who is now using my friend to step on in order to reach her personal goals? Life's a trip. I told this dude not to marry her. But he thought she was the one who would do anything for him. Til she now found her own success.

Women don't care about men's dreams and ambitions and will always put her children and her own ambitions in life first.
Who's to blame?
Him for not maintaining his frame. Who earns the most is irrelevant. You should still maintain your frame.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

It's funny, I often hear about finding someone to grow with. My personal thought is to grow on your own time and when you're done find another grown person.

If you want someone to grow with, then get a dog. It will love you 100% unconditional and be the best friend you ever have lol.

 

[Lookatu]

Or better... Just don't play that game.

SINGLE MOMS ARE FOR FUN AND PRACTICE ONLY!!!!!!

This would be ideal but the reality is there are more and more single moms out there these days and unfortunately, the childless ones have their own set of issues with either being land whales, mental issues, or not mother/family conducive(the reason why they are single and childless to begin with).

You're still going to be spinning the dice regardless of whom you end up with. It's just that there will be more risk financial wise with someone with kids though.

 

[Lookatu]

It's moreso her position. She's in a leadership role and brings that home where they often bump heads.

I see this in both males and females. Unfortunately corporate can affect people's personal lifestyle and personalities and I often see people mirroring what they do in the office back in the home. Generally leadership roles are the worst because they often read or go to seminars on basically obtaining power, manipulation tactics, negotiations, using emotional intelligence. All things used to gain advantage at work but often spilling over into their personal lives.

 

[RickTheToad]

This would be ideal but the reality is there are more and more single moms out there these days and unfortunately, the childless ones have their own set of issues with either being land whales, mental issues, or not mother/family conducive(the reason why they are single and childless to begin with).

You're still going to be spinning the dice regardless of whom you end up with. It's just that there will be more risk financial wise with someone with kids though.

Not necessarily dude. Fvcking them as practice and dating them for a relationship are two different things. Now, if the kids are out of the house and on their own, different story. However, best to be avoided; if possible.

 

[Bible_Belt]

he has to spend time playing housewife?

And what do housewives do? They don't work. They stay home, get fat, stop having sex with their wage slave husband, then cheat and blame everything on him. Afterward, file for divorce, and take a paycheck that isnt theirs through alimony and child support. That sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.