Let it burn??

[Solja J]

The other night I call my girlfriend's house and her mom picks up the phone.
Me: May I speak to ...?
Mom:And who are you?
Me: I'm Jerry
Mom: You can't talk to Tammie
Me: Aight?!

It seems like this girl forgot to tell me that she could not have a bf. That's why she's always calling me. She even leaves messages on the voicemail telling me not to call her back. We have not spoke since last Friday. She called on Monday and Tuesday. I did not pick up my cell phone because my dad is already tripping about the daytime minutes being used up. Well I tried to call her yesterday and that's when the mom conversation happened. I feel that she's concealing some more stuff. I don't want a relationship where she has to go behind her mom's back or anything. That would be the wrong thing for me to do. So should I just do as Usher says in his song "Let it burn!!?"

 

[Solja J]

Plus I don't think she'll be calling anytime soon since her mom found out about us.

 

[Ballistik]

You don't want the relationship because she'd be lying to her mom?! Why don't you pull on a sweater vest, play an Enya CD, and start looking at wallpaper samples for your room? For Christ's sake, man....

 

[Solja J]

It's just that I don't want her to disobey her mom because of me. Maybe I'm overreacting because it's not her fault her my is tripping. It's her fault that I did not know about it though. I should stick by her side I guess....

 

[NRM]

If you want her, don't leave her. Put everything else aside. A lot of teens don't tell their folks about relationships and that's okay, just play it cool like it doesn't matter cause it shouldn't. Also, it seems that too much calling is going on, try your best to use the phone only for setting up dates and quick 2 minute phone calls. Spending too much time on the phone with her always leads to disaster.

 

[Ballistik]

Originally posted by Solja J
It's just that I don't want her to disobey her mom because of me. Maybe I'm overreacting because it's not her fault her my is tripping. It's her fault that I did not know about it though. I should stick by her side I guess....

Wow. Dude, lemme tell you right now, if you've got problems with disobeying parents, you've got a long way to go....

 

[Solja J]

We usually spend about 10 minutes on the phone 2gether. I stopped picking up my cellphone in the daytime.

 

[JSH]

Her mum is just being protective, she best be a good lair to her mum though, just become her best friend in the prescence of her parents. I mean my parents were 'colleagues' despite being 19with my mum's parents and they did not realise for so long.

 

[LikRetsam]

NRM, when you have no idea what you're talking about, shut the fvck up.

Talking to your girlfriend on the phone for long periods of time does not screw up anything. AT ALL.

Jesus.

 

[Bunk 040]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
NRM, when you have no idea what you're talking about, shut the fvck up.

Talking to your girlfriend on the phone for long periods of time does not screw up anything. AT ALL.

Jesus.

Pissy are we? Ay pimp, I don't know how long you been here but this site here aint for flaming.

Back to the topic:
Ay playa, you still got a long as way to go, so try and catch up.

If you that interested in knowing why you can't talk to the chicken then why the hell did you say "Aight." You should had asked why.
If you don't want to date her then don't, but you gave a soft as reason why you wouldn't. All teen chickens sneak around and I sorta like the thrill.

But just do you.

 

[NRM]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
NRM, when you have no idea what you're talking about, shut the fvck up.

Talking to your girlfriend on the phone for long periods of time does not screw up anything. AT ALL.

Jesus.

What kinda wimp are you? Oh, according to your profile you're only 15. You can't even legally drive, so the phone is probably the most contact you'll get from a girl that isn't the internet and isn't your mommy dropping you off at the theaters.

I know this is a teen forum, but many of the rules still apply. Study Doc Love principals, the DJ's Bible material, and get some world experience, and then we can talk about it.

This is going to stray off topic, but I have a point to lead. The phone and other sources should be used as mediums to set up the next date. A physcial date is the best form of dating and communication that you can get. The reason behind all this is because anything besides a well setup physical date is anti-challenge and makes you seem like a wimp.

Oh, what do I mean by anti-challenge?

You are showing her you have nothing better to do than sit around and chit-chat with her about little nothings for 5 hours. Major turnoff. Guys are not meant to be talking on the phone. Guys do not speak with male buddies for 9 hours a day on the phones. Women seem to be able to handle and do that. And they do it well. It is just too easy to get carried away on the phone. If you talk to your girlfriend more on the phone than in real life, then there is somewhat of a problem. In person, you can see what the person is feeling and sense their interest level in you through physical motions. On the phone... she either tells you or she doesn't.

If you really believe that talking to your girlfriend for long periods of time does not screw up anything at all, then you must be the type that think she'll never leave you as long as you leave enough cash on the windowsill every morning, but just wait till she sees someone with a little more cash. The phone is anti-challenge. I won't get into it anymore. Read your DJ's Bible and go read some Doc Love while you're at it. Or better yet, go and call up every girl you know and talk to her for 5 hours a day for the next month. Someone is bound to get bored first and I bet it will be you. And definitely no one is gonna fall more in love over the phone.

 

[MidwestFreek]

to make things short...long phone convos lead to less to talk about in person...and they can get boring when nobody wants to hang up..and...talking to a girl for a short time will make her think ur a little busy..and she will fight for your attention...

 

[LikRetsam]

Again... talking out of your ass. When you don't know what you're talking about, SHUT UP!

I'm 15. That immediatly banishes all potential outspoken opinions from me, right? You sir are shallow. You will meet 15 year old geniuses and 50 year olds dumb asses. Age doesn't matter. What does matter is experience and you have no God damn idea how much of that I have. So welcome to the forums, take a seat and pay attention:

Talking to your girlfriend on the phone is not bad. It does not eliminate possible physical talk because you have plenty of time for that. I don't give a **** what Doc love said. Talking on the phone with your GIRLFRIEND should not be a matter of simply setting up dates. I don't even want to get into this. If you can't see my point, than I suggest you don't even read anything on this site because your close mindedness will make you crash and burn.

Midwest: Convos can get boring but I'm assuming you can keep a conversation going with your GIRLFRIEND. An interresting one at that. IF you can't, than maybe you should question your presence in that relationship. Your girlfriend is not going to fight for your attention, she already has it. Stop deluding yourselves.

Back to NRM: I just read the last 2 paragraphs of your post. You have obviously never been in a LTR. Talking to your gf on the phone is "anti-challenge" DUDE! WAKE THE **** UP! The second you became exclusive was the second the "challenge" left.

And right. She's gonna dump you because you have nothing better to do than talk to her... ****ing brilliant. Go **** yourself.

 

[JSH]

Originally posted by LikRetsam


Again... talking out of your ass. When you don't know what you're talking about, SHUT UP!

I'm 15. That immediatly banishes all potential outspoken opinions from me, right? You sir are shallow. You will meet 15 year old geniuses and 50 year olds dumb asses. Age doesn't matter. What does matter is experience and you have no God damn idea how much of that I have. So welcome to the forums, take a seat and pay attention:

Talking to your girlfriend on the phone is not bad. It does not eliminate possible physical talk because you have plenty of time for that. I don't give a **** what Doc love said. Talking on the phone with your GIRLFRIEND should not be a matter of simply setting up dates. I don't even want to get into this. If you can't see my point, than I suggest you don't even read anything on this site because your close mindedness will make you crash and burn.

Midwest: Convos can get boring but I'm assuming you can keep a conversation going with your GIRLFRIEND. An interresting one at that. IF you can't, than maybe you should question your presence in that relationship. Your girlfriend is not going to fight for your attention, she already has it. Stop deluding yourselves.

Back to NRM: I just read the last 2 paragraphs of your post. You have obviously never been in a LTR. Talking to your gf on the phone is "anti-challenge" DUDE! WAKE THE **** UP! The second you became exclusive was the second the "challenge" left.

And right. She's gonna dump you because you have nothing better to do than talk to her... ****ing brilliant. Go **** yourself.

You sir are bloody rude. How do you know he has not got more experiance. But NRM he has got a point, the tips are exactly that TIPS not die hard iron rules, treat them as such at first but then slowly melt them as you get used to them and you know what you are capable and not capable of doing.

You sir are also shallow if you think experience is just about number of posts on a forum . Different people have different methods and because yours have worked for you does not make you fit to lecture others.

NRM we are not all like Lik, hes rude but hes good at heart (really , he tries so hard to put it on).Lik you are also wrong, there always has to be an element of challenge in a relationship, no matter how long as otherwise you lose your masculinity, you are just a puppy dog, what you would flame as being so AFC.

All the opinions expressed are right as such, if its still early days with this girl Solja you should not talk too much. IMO even later one you should not talk too much on the phone as you should be able to live seperate lives and not have to rely on each other (then ur ****ed when she gets lost) and thats how typical high school relationships tend to go.

But i see where Lik is coming from, phone converstaions do not need to be no shhorter than x and no longer than y. The rules are good at first and stick to the ones that work for you, but everyones game will slowly progress and begin to flow.

And i love this whole American exclusive thing, to the girls i know as soon as you have pulled her she owns your soul, unless one or either of you was drunk. Well, i get around it but . . .
Exclsuive is a real american idea thing isnt it

 

[LikRetsam]

Originally posted by JSH
You sir are bloody rude. How do you know he has not got more experiance.

I didn't question his experience, he questioned mine.

Originally posted by JSH
You sir are also shallow if you think experience is just about number of posts on a forum . Different people have different methods and because yours have worked for you does not make you fit to lecture others.

Again, I didn't question post count or methods. I questionned logic. Tell me please why a chick will dump you because you have nothing better to do than talk to her all night long. Give me one good reason, just one.

Originally posted by JSH
NRM we are not all like Lik, hes rude but hes good at heart (really , he tries so hard to put it on).

No he isn't. He doesn't like any of you.

Originally posted by JSH
Lik you are also wrong, there always has to be an element of challenge in a relationship, no matter how long as otherwise you lose your masculinity, you are just a puppy dog, what you would flame as being so AFC.

Confusing control with confidence.

Originally posted by JSH
All the opinions expressed are right as such, if its still early days with this girl Solja you should not talk too much. IMO even later one you should not talk too much on the phone as you should be able to live seperate lives and not have to rely on each other (then ur ****ed when she gets lost) and thats how typical high school relationships tend to go.

We clearly don't see relationships the same way so there is no point arguing. We're looking at them from different angles.

Originally posted by JSH
But i see where Lik is coming from, phone converstaions do not need to be no shhorter than x and no longer than y. The rules are good at first and stick to the ones that work for you, but everyones game will slowly progress and begin to flow.

Given.

Originally posted by JSH
and i love this whole American exclusive thing, to the girls i know as soon as you have pulled her she owns your soul, unless one or either of you was drunk. Well, i get around it but . . .
Exclsuive is a real american idea thing isnt it

I don't get this so no comment.

 

[JSH]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
I didn't question his experience, he questioned mine.
Again, I didn't question post count or methods. I questionned logic. Tell me please why a chick will dump you because you have nothing better to do than talk to her all night long. Give me one good reason, just one.

No he isn't. He doesn't like any of you.

Confusing control with confidence.

We clearly don't see relationships the same way so there is no point arguing. We're looking at them from different angles.

Given.

I don't get this so no comment.

You never question others experiance, you automatically come in with a superior attitude which is downright wrong. Be sure of yourself but do not be arrogant, because its coming across like an (american word) JERK. I know its hard to toe the thin line. You can be alpha or whatever the **** you want without being rude and demeaning to others, at times you are really nice to n00bs @otehrs you ***** like hell.

The reason the chick will dump you if you talk all night long to her (well its happened to me, except i dumped her cos she wouldnt quit yapping), is becasue it gets boring. I mean who wants to be stuck in a rut, if you speak 2/3 hours a day, you base your life around her and this conversation. What happens when its gone, your ****ed.

Im not saying what you do is wong, but everyone has different methods. Anyway, if you are in the early stages of a relationship with a girl then its best not to spend too much time on the phone to her as it makes you appear clingy.

It depends on the situation and the girl, as you yourself said: iif you have nothing better to do. Because you have nothing better to do. You have to remain a challenge, the whole idea of being and AFCis that you are a doormat, you yourself have called some guys that. You become one by basing your life around a girl.

Masculinity is not just about confidence but its also about control. Iif you lose control of yourself then your are not a man, its that simple.

Again all my own take.

Roll with the punches. and play nice

 

[NRM]

LikRetsam, I would like to respect your opinions, but the only way that I can really do that is if you could respect my own. Everyone has their own reasons for what they believe, but presenting things the way you did was just downright flaming and irrelevant to the issue.

Originally posted by LikRetsam
I'm 15. That immediatly banishes all potential outspoken opinions from me, right? You sir are shallow. You will meet 15 year old geniuses and 50 year olds dumb asses. Age doesn't matter. What does matter is experience and you have no God damn idea how much of that I have.

That was not what I was trying to get at. What I was trying to get at is that you're 15 and cannot drive. You are less opt to go on a physical date with a girl because you are unable to. I am actually not terribly older than you, so quit assuming things. I can say that you don't have much experience dropping off a girl at home after a date and then going in for the good night kiss, afterall, you'd have to then hop back on your bicycle and ride home.

But that was just a humorous comeback to you telling me to shut the fuck up.

Originally posted by LikRetsam
If you can't see my point, than I suggest you don't even read anything on this site because your close mindedness will make you crash and burn.

No, I'm quite open to suggestions and opinions, but when opinions are "Shut the fuck up, you don't know anything, you are wrong," I don't really think I'm the one being close-minded. Also, I just so happen to be in a two year relationship with my very beautiful and very awesome girlfriend, I am not new to the game.

When you are in a relationship, the pursuing doesn't stop once you reach the point of being exclusive. If that happened, every relationship would start with marriage and end in happiness. But just because you're exclusive doesn't mean you'll have them forever, you still have to remain a challenge and keep them interested. Ever understand why they say it's easy getting a girlfriend, but harder to keep one? It's easier to lose interest in a person you're with.

Alright, you don't seem to understand that a person who has nothing better to do but sit around and talk on the phone with someone all day looks a lot worse than someone who actually has a life and does things with it. I mean, what were you doing before sitting around and talking to her all day? Possibly sports, fun activities, all the things that make you interesting. And you are now giving it all up to talk to her. You must be one of those guys who thinks that girls want the sensitive man who is always there for them and buys them everything they want.

Be a man.

As a guy, you shouldn't have even brought up being exclusive, she should have, and you should do everything exactly the same as before you were so called "boyfriend/girlfriend." Nothing changes besides your title.

But thanks to anybody who respects my opinions. I'm only trying to help.

 

[JSH]

NRM, play slightly less attention to the rules. They are just guidelines. Lik pay a little respect. Thats what this boils down to.

Plus again, i dont get this exclusive thing (american), its crazy, surely your either mates with a girl or going out.

 

[NRM]

Well of course you can bend the rules somewhat and they are guidelines to what you should do. He was just implying that they were total bullshit. Sorry for being too aggressive towards it.

 

[Alexis Zorba]

JSH, the american term "exclusive" means to stop dating around. When a relationship becomes exclusive it means that the people involved in it are oficially boyfriend and grilfriend. As such, they canot date any other people and much less have any sexual contact with other than their partner.

What it all boils down to: Is that you can't mess around when you become exclusive. You cannot have a purely sexual relationship with other people rather than your exclsusive partner.

Was that you question?

Alexis Zorba