Let her set the pace? OBSERVATION

[silverwex]

I made an interesting observation over the past few weeks by looking at this board and examining girls.

If you want to have a relationship with a girl you should let her set the pace.

You should wait for HER to call you and to suggest the two of you meet up.

I moved a little too quickly with the girl im kinda seeing at the moment and she got a bit freaked out, although last night i said that id be prepared to move it at her pace - once i suggested that she seemed ok with me again.

So guys, is it true? SHould YOU let HER set the pace? I know some of you will say "YOU'RE the man YOU SET THE PACE" but i tend to disagree with this.

Any thoughts?

 

[trajhenkhet]

I say thats a flag. They'll be other things she'll want to change in short order... just wait....

 

[One on One]

The problem is she won't set the pace.

If you wait for her to call you, you'll be waiting a long time.

If you wait for her to kiss you, you'll be waiting a long mother****ing time.

If you wait for her to **** you, you'll be waiting a long long mother****ing ****ing time.

The bottom line is you have to make the moves. The problem with your previous relationship was that you moved too quickly without rapport. If you had enough rapport, it wouldn't have been a problem. You are missing the reason that your previous relationship failed.

So, yes, you can move too quickly and screw things up, but if you wait for her to move, you'll just agonize yourself to death and nothing will happen. She'll get tired of waiting for you to grow balls.

 

[vudufixit]

I agree with the last post. I've waited too long and missed opportunities due to not being "aggressive" enough.

 

[Quick]

dave134 is correct. I had a first date on july 3rd. i started standing closer to her than normal, then standing right up on her, then holding her hand... By the end of the night, i was walking with my arm around her waist, and she was nestled up against me in the movie theater. One important thing to note is that she didn't initiate any of the touching, but once i did something like take her hand she would return her hand to mine if she had to remove it for some reason. Anything that I wanted to do with her, she was very receptive and wanted it, but if I had waited for her to initiate we would never have made any contact.

Woman want men to take control and initiate things. They will almost never be the aggressors. Even if she really wants you to kiss her, she won't kiss you. Instead she'll just wonder what's wrong with you. What you have to do to prevent situations like yours is read her signals. If at any time, my date hadn't responded eagerly to my touching her, i would have stopped right there and not escalated any further. Taking control doesn't mean just blindly putting forth your agenda. It means that you push things in the direction you want up to the point where she's showing resistance, and then you melt down those barriers too.