Let her make the move....?

oc16

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Have not hung out with this chick in two months, but I still see her at gym.

Long story short, last two times I asked her to hang out, first time I never heard back from her and second time (5 weeks later) she said she couldn't (even though she inititated text) but said we should hang out soon.

I know when a girl initiates text you should ask her out, but not in this case.

I am not texting her, only if she texts me first. I am also not going to bring up hanging out, only if she brings it up. What do you think?
 

HughJasolphd

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Me personally I'd make her do the legwork for a meetup. The fact she let 5 whole weeks roll by before answering you tells me she doesn't respect you or your time. Earlier today I watched a video from AMS on this exact subject, watch it & listen to his advice

 

oc16

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That's what I thought ...

Yet, she initiated a Merry Christmas with me today and I just responded with Merry Christmas back and that's it
 

flowtheory

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You’ve already asked her out twice. It hasn’t gone your way. Her interest isn’t there, seemingly. Or she has a boyfriend. Who know.

Ask her out ONCE more with a day and time, and if she gives you anything but a yes, or a no and with suggestion for another time, eject. Don’t look back.

Don’t waste your time with low interest or time wasting flakey women.
 

kzar_kzar

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Have not hung out with this chick in two months, but I still see her at gym.

Long story short, last two times I asked her to hang out, first time I never heard back from her and second time (5 weeks later) she said she couldn't (even though she inititated text) but said we should hang out soon.

I know when a girl initiates text you should ask her out, but not in this case.

I am not texting her, only if she texts me first. I am also not going to bring up hanging out, only if she brings it up. What do you think?
If you see her at gym regularly then you should ask her in person rather through whatsapp.. You could have created situations where you can go with her after your workout , maybe for a dinner etc and continue from there. Just like you would do with your work mates.
I never ask a girl out through text when I meet her quite often..

Right now just keep on talking with her, she will hint if she wants to go out..
 
A

AJ84

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Have not hung out with this chick in two months, but I still see her at gym.

Long story short, last two times I asked her to hang out, first time I never heard back from her and second time (5 weeks later) she said she couldn't (even though she inititated text) but said we should hang out soon.

I know when a girl initiates text you should ask her out, but not in this case.

I am not texting her, only if she texts me first. I am also not going to bring up hanging out, only if she brings it up. What do you think?

Same girl who dropped you after a few dates in the fall right? You initiated a text and asked her out and she DIDN’T respond. She sent you a text and you asked her out again and she DIDN’T say yes. She wasn’t interested then, she’s not interested now, so yeah stop trying.
 

sazc

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Your intuition is spot on, trust it. Wait for her to initiate MEETING UP

Make her low priority in your life (that's what she's doing to you)
 

Glassguy

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DO NOT ask her out or show any signs of wanting to ask her out. You have already showed your interest and she declined. If her interest has risen she will ask you out.

I totally agree with the AMS video above ^^^. You just keep taking your sweet old time responding back when she reaches out and do not do anything that shows indication of interest. She will eventually crack and bring it up and then at that point its a one shot deal for her to come over to your place for a drink. No date.

A few weeks ago I had a chick flake on me that I assumed had extremely high interest. She reached out first through social media (DM) and after a few messages I set a date. She was doing all of the initiating until the day of the date and totally disappeared. No big deal, I went silent.

After a week she sends me a "hey". I just said "hey whats up.....I am busy and I cant chat right now". So she says "sorry, message me when you're free". I tell her no problem and then I DID NOT message her later.

Later that night she sends "I just wanted you to know that I am really sorry for disappearing, blah blah blah, but I still want to meet up".
Me: Ok cool. Things are pretty busy right now but I could sneak you in for a drink at my place on Sunday night.
Her: Well I dont normally come to someone's house on a first date. I was thinking we could go out for drinks.
Me: Well our first date was last Wednesday and you disappeared so that was the first date. If you dont want to come over Sunday night we can try again later on when the holidays are over and I get more free time. Hit me up in a few weeks.
Her: What time were you thinking Sunday night?

Now keep in mind that I have physically met this chick while out with mutual friends a couple of times so she was not just a total stranger. She ended up coming over. I am still making her do 90% of the pursuing and initiating (text, etc).

When a chick does make it easy to get together you should pull back IMMEDIATELY and simply tell her "No problem, maybe we can try again later on". Then go silent.

If you continue to pursue her, it will drop any interest she does have down to nothing.

If you walk away, it could raise her interest and its the only shot you have of her coming back around. If she doesnt, you wasted no time on her after she failed to make getting together easy.
 

marmel75

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DO NOT ask her out or show any signs of wanting to ask her out. You have already showed your interest and she declined. If her interest has risen she will ask you out.

I totally agree with the AMS video above ^^^. You just keep taking your sweet old time responding back when she reaches out and do not do anything that shows indication of interest. She will eventually crack and bring it up and then at that point its a one shot deal for her to come over to your place for a drink. No date.

A few weeks ago I had a chick flake on me that I assumed had extremely high interest. She reached out first through social media (DM) and after a few messages I set a date. She was doing all of the initiating until the day of the date and totally disappeared. No big deal, I went silent.

After a week she sends me a "hey". I just said "hey whats up.....I am busy and I cant chat right now". So she says "sorry, message me when you're free". I tell her no problem and then I DID NOT message her later.

Later that night she sends "I just wanted you to know that I am really sorry for disappearing, blah blah blah, but I still want to meet up".
Me: Ok cool. Things are pretty busy right now but I could sneak you in for a drink at my place on Sunday night.
Her: Well I dont normally come to someone's house on a first date. I was thinking we could go out for drinks.
Me: Well our first date was last Wednesday and you disappeared so that was the first date. If you dont want to come over Sunday night we can try again later on when the holidays are over and I get more free time. Hit me up in a few weeks.
Her: What time were you thinking Sunday night?

Now keep in mind that I have physically met this chick while out with mutual friends a couple of times so she was not just a total stranger. She ended up coming over. I am still making her do 90% of the pursuing and initiating (text, etc).

When a chick does make it easy to get together you should pull back IMMEDIATELY and simply tell her "No problem, maybe we can try again later on". Then go silent.

If you continue to pursue her, it will drop any interest she does have down to nothing.

If you walk away, it could raise her interest and its the only shot you have of her coming back around. If she doesnt, you wasted no time on her after she failed to make getting together easy.
@Glassguy was this the chick who hit you up randomly on FB?
 

oc16

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DO NOT ask her out or show any signs of wanting to ask her out. You have already showed your interest and she declined. If her interest has risen she will ask you out.

I totally agree with the AMS video above ^^^. You just keep taking your sweet old time responding back when she reaches out and do not do anything that shows indication of interest. She will eventually crack and bring it up and then at that point its a one shot deal for her to come over to your place for a drink. No date.

A few weeks ago I had a chick flake on me that I assumed had extremely high interest. She reached out first through social media (DM) and after a few messages I set a date. She was doing all of the initiating until the day of the date and totally disappeared. No big deal, I went silent.

After a week she sends me a "hey". I just said "hey whats up.....I am busy and I cant chat right now". So she says "sorry, message me when you're free". I tell her no problem and then I DID NOT message her later.

Later that night she sends "I just wanted you to know that I am really sorry for disappearing, blah blah blah, but I still want to meet up".
Me: Ok cool. Things are pretty busy right now but I could sneak you in for a drink at my place on Sunday night.
Her: Well I dont normally come to someone's house on a first date. I was thinking we could go out for drinks.
Me: Well our first date was last Wednesday and you disappeared so that was the first date. If you dont want to come over Sunday night we can try again later on when the holidays are over and I get more free time. Hit me up in a few weeks.
Her: What time were you thinking Sunday night?

Now keep in mind that I have physically met this chick while out with mutual friends a couple of times so she was not just a total stranger. She ended up coming over. I am still making her do 90% of the pursuing and initiating (text, etc).

When a chick does make it easy to get together you should pull back IMMEDIATELY and simply tell her "No problem, maybe we can try again later on". Then go silent.

If you continue to pursue her, it will drop any interest she does have down to nothing.

If you walk away, it could raise her interest and its the only shot you have of her coming back around. If she doesnt, you wasted no time on her after she failed to make getting together easy.
So, the stuff Corey Wayne preaches is l
 

Glassguy

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So, the stuff Corey Wayne preaches is l
No. Its something you that has been around long before CW.

I've seen some of CWs stuff. It's ok.....just too beta provider for my taste.
 

lamath

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DO NOT ask her out or show any signs of wanting to ask her out. You have already showed your interest and she declined. If her interest has risen she will ask you out.

I totally agree with the AMS video above ^^^. You just keep taking your sweet old time responding back when she reaches out and do not do anything that shows indication of interest. She will eventually crack and bring it up and then at that point its a one shot deal for her to come over to your place for a drink. No date.

A few weeks ago I had a chick flake on me that I assumed had extremely high interest. She reached out first through social media (DM) and after a few messages I set a date. She was doing all of the initiating until the day of the date and totally disappeared. No big deal, I went silent.

After a week she sends me a "hey". I just said "hey whats up.....I am busy and I cant chat right now". So she says "sorry, message me when you're free". I tell her no problem and then I DID NOT message her later.

Later that night she sends "I just wanted you to know that I am really sorry for disappearing, blah blah blah, but I still want to meet up".
Me: Ok cool. Things are pretty busy right now but I could sneak you in for a drink at my place on Sunday night.
Her: Well I dont normally come to someone's house on a first date. I was thinking we could go out for drinks.
Me: Well our first date was last Wednesday and you disappeared so that was the first date. If you dont want to come over Sunday night we can try again later on when the holidays are over and I get more free time. Hit me up in a few weeks.
Her: What time were you thinking Sunday night?

Now keep in mind that I have physically met this chick while out with mutual friends a couple of times so she was not just a total stranger. She ended up coming over. I am still making her do 90% of the pursuing and initiating (text, etc).

When a chick does make it easy to get together you should pull back IMMEDIATELY and simply tell her "No problem, maybe we can try again later on". Then go silent.

If you continue to pursue her, it will drop any interest she does have down to nothing.

If you walk away, it could raise her interest and its the only shot you have of her coming back around. If she doesnt, you wasted no time on her after she failed to make getting together easy.
Alpha AF
So what was the result of her coming over?
 

Macaframalama

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OP, do you not respect yourself enough that you would tolerate this behavior towards you, from a female? She doesn't even have the common decency to give you a yes or no answer the first time you asked. Why should she respect you?.?. The only way i would consider it, is if she were to initiate the date AND agree to foot the bill. Don't hold your breath.
 

HughJasolphd

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DO NOT ask her out or show any signs of wanting to ask her out. You have already showed your interest and she declined. If her interest has risen she will ask you out.

I totally agree with the AMS video above ^^^. You just keep taking your sweet old time responding back when she reaches out and do not do anything that shows indication of interest. She will eventually crack and bring it up and then at that point its a one shot deal for her to come over to your place for a drink. No date.

A few weeks ago I had a chick flake on me that I assumed had extremely high interest. She reached out first through social media (DM) and after a few messages I set a date. She was doing all of the initiating until the day of the date and totally disappeared. No big deal, I went silent.

After a week she sends me a "hey". I just said "hey whats up.....I am busy and I cant chat right now". So she says "sorry, message me when you're free". I tell her no problem and then I DID NOT message her later.

Later that night she sends "I just wanted you to know that I am really sorry for disappearing, blah blah blah, but I still want to meet up".
Me: Ok cool. Things are pretty busy right now but I could sneak you in for a drink at my place on Sunday night.
Her: Well I dont normally come to someone's house on a first date. I was thinking we could go out for drinks.
Me: Well our first date was last Wednesday and you disappeared so that was the first date. If you dont want to come over Sunday night we can try again later on when the holidays are over and I get more free time. Hit me up in a few weeks.
Her: What time were you thinking Sunday night?

Now keep in mind that I have physically met this chick while out with mutual friends a couple of times so she was not just a total stranger. She ended up coming over. I am still making her do 90% of the pursuing and initiating (text, etc).

When a chick does make it easy to get together you should pull back IMMEDIATELY and simply tell her "No problem, maybe we can try again later on". Then go silent.

If you continue to pursue her, it will drop any interest she does have down to nothing.

If you walk away, it could raise her interest and its the only shot you have of her coming back around. If she doesnt, you wasted no time on her after she failed to make getting together easy.
I screenshot this entire message & put it in my SS note folder. This is a great template to use when dealing with flaky chicks. Respect, brother
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

GrowingPains

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Me personally I'd make her do the legwork for a meetup. The fact she let 5 whole weeks roll by before answering you tells me she doesn't respect you or your time. Earlier today I watched a video from AMS on this exact subject, watch it & listen to his advice

*Clap... Rubs hands...* "What's up, fellas."
 

NSX-R

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If a woman likes you , her program is going to depend on your schedule. I remember a very attractive plate i once had . Guys were texting her and calling her all the time .

She was with me and all these desperate guys were calling her and she was just ignoring all of them . She was canceling dates with friends and thirsty guys just to go out with me. Meanwhile i used to call her she would pick it up as soon as I called her . And if that’s not enough , some times i was calling her at 2 or 3 at night she would still respond to me .

That’s a sign of interest and high attraction levels . In your case , move on and forget about her .
 

VladPatton

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You're just another occupant in her Contacts app, bro. Sorry to say.
 
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