Lessons in dealing with a flake

[old_skoolr]

So I met this girl 6 months ago in the club. She was stunning. Blonde hair and a black dress, I started talking her in the smoke room. She had great eyes, the type that could see the bull**** that came out of most guys mouths, my game had to be onpoint. We talked until her friend dragged her away, a good 10 minutes.

3 months later, an old plate that had moved overseas came back and wanted to see me. She told me she'd be out with a gf of hers and since I was in the area, to come and say hi. As I go over and say welcome back to my plate, her friend turns and says "your old_skoolr". I turned and realised that the same blonde from the club, who remembered my name after 3 months. I played dumb at first "and you are?" I asked. "I'm hot blonde, we met at the club a few months back. Again I played dumb for 10-15 seconds and then said "Oh yeh, the cute girl who got dragged away by her friend." We small talked for abit and I excused myself and let the girls enjoy there night. A week later I added the blonde on facebook.

We talked for few weeks as i found out abit about her. Grew in the Greek islands, 19, very old fashioned & traditional. I made her convince to herself that she doesnt like gay people, after a controversial fb status. She asked "do you think less of me?" I told her that shes a smart girl, and although she might not like certain things in life, she should be tolerant of others, even if she didnt like it. Finally got her number and started texting.

Msged her the week after about meeting up, she seemed keen, but unavailable. I was cool with it, though Thursday I was abit pushy, telling her I wanted to hang, and to know which day on the w.e she was free (her idea to meet up w.e) She told me she'd msg me friday and let me know.........She didnt msg.

So what did i do? I didnt whinge, or complain. I went out and enjoyed my w.e. A friday night with the boys, mixing alcohol with young girls with loose morals and Saturday another plate of mines bday, which was at a club, where I saw a friend who was a model and had her best mate, jumping at the chance to get to know me.

I posted this to show you guys what you should be doing when woman flake on you. Dont mope around, just get on with it. Enjoy your life, spin plates and do things that'll leave great stories to tell your friends.


Will also let you know what happens with the plate, I think she still seems interested. But we will see if she acts proper.

Peace

 

[pyros]

yeah man, keep your ego high.

You think she's still interested? yeah sure...after not messaging you and after seeming unavailable...great conclusion dude.

 

[old_skoolr]

Cheers dude, its not about the ego, but just getting on with life. My time is valuable and I gave her the gift of having my time and she didnt accept, so I just went out and did my own thing.

Yeh I rekon so. I did the math with her, she tells me she goes out twice a month and gets hit on by at least two guys each night. So after 12 guys have hit on her after I met her, she still remembers my name. I told her was truly flattered by that, thats an ego boost and a half.

I'll let you guys know.

 

[nismo-4]

When a woman flakes, you have failed. Erase her ass instantly. She wouldn't flake on Brad Pitt.

Just go out and have fun, hell, she flaked on you to be with a better man. Is she still interested in you? Don't hold your breath. She may have a spot for you as a friend, which you should reject.

Case closed.

 

[asa_don]

When a woman flakes, you have failed. Erase her ass instantly. She wouldn't flake on Brad Pitt.

Just go out and have fun, hell, she flaked on you to be with a better man. Is she still interested in you? Don't hold your breath. She may have a spot for you as a friend, which you should reject.

Case closed.

exactly, if she isn't willing to jump on your d1ck, you don't want to hear about her jumping on other d1cks as just a friend.

 

[skinnyguy]

Nice man.

I really hate it when women seem to have all the power when they flake. How come they don't need to chase after us once in a while? Probably cause we GIVE them the power. We care more than they do.

I have realized that part of being a DJ is actually not caring about the outcome and realizing you'll find a better HB down the road. After all a flaking woman is low quality anyway.

But yes, you're on point…moving on and not moping around is key.

 

[old_skoolr]

Cheers for the advice, I started talking to her today, nothing major just small talk. Didnt mention the flake (coz i dont really care.) I just hate texting and fb msging bull****, I'm all about face-to-face communication and if I saw her enough to get that, I know i'll get somewhere. Sucks when she lives 80 min away.


BUT ALAS TO OTHER CONQUESTS

 

[n00bPimp]

Yes well done. Even better if you can post some pics on fb of you having a great time. Let her see how little of fvck you give.

 

[VladPatton]

Agreed.
PS: Greek chicks are the worse.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

LoL @ "She flaked." Dude, she didn't flake - you set yourself up for failure by asking this chick to tell you when she'd be available, which is the LEAST manliest way you can ask a girl out. I'm actually doing a podcast about why the whole "Let Me Know Your Schedule" routine usually results in no response (or date) from a woman. In short, though, you would have been better off asking her if you could take her to x-activity on A or B day and time. Women aren't trying to plan any aspect of the first few dates with you, including what's convenient for her schedule. It's YOUR job to pick the days, and HER job to bend and be flexible enough to MAKE those days/times work - which she will do IF SHE LIKES YOU.

 

[old_skoolr]

Vlad: Haha they are dude, I'm greek myself and half the time I cbf with their ****. I just keep escalating as much as I can, just to get one on one with them, then its too damn easy. Pump n dump, thats the only way.

Harry: If she did want to meet up, theres no reason why she shouldnt say "Hey im free this Saturday or Sunday" I'm not all about demanding a date, coz it comes off to childish. On a first date, plus its a weekend, Girls that age have always got something planned..its a given. And which girl is gna blow off her w.e plans to go on a first date with some guy she may/may not like.

I've always enjoyed playing it cool and just saying "Look I'm a pretty busy guy, but I think your pretty cool and I'd like to get to know you better, when you free? I'd like to hang out." If she doesnt give you a direct answer then dont bother. Its that easy. Its nothing to do with how manly you are. Just how you portay yourself.

 

[old_skoolr]

RECAPPPING ON THIS SUBJECT

3.5 months have passed since I posted about this flake. I was certain she was interested in me, but I knew being at her age and having guys hit on her all the time, she'd be playing games. So I kept at it, call it a gut feeling after that night out in my last post I had decided to not talk to her again.

Exactly a month ago, she messages me on fb asking what I was doing that sat night and if i was going out? I said no and we small talked abit. I cut the convo since I was busy, and I didnt really want the convo to drag out and get her ego up. Her last msg was "Your funny, we should have coffee sometime."

I didnt ask her out till 2 weeks after on a Monday, after some small talk I asked when she's free, we scheduled for Friday night. Thursday night I was out with friends and messaged her to confirm. I was actually hoping shed say no, my gut told me she would. Plus my mate asked if I wanted to hit up my favourite club. I was right, she messaged me 10 min I msged her telling me "how she was just going to let me know that her car broke down and she cant meet up, maybe next week".

I was cool with it, since I had other plans lined up. Hit her up Monday about meeting up, she told me Sunday, heres a sneak at the texts:

Her: Sunday day or night?
Me: Better in the evening so I can see the moonlight shine through your eyes.
Her: Is this the part where I say your so sweet and then you ruin it by saying jokes or something stupid? lol
Me: no, this is the part where you say thats the sweetest thing Ive ever heard, then I say, wait till you hear my voice.

We met Sunday arvo and it went alrite, I wasnt 100% at my best, but still think I went ok. I've told she has great eyes, that most guys would find intimidating, though that day everytime she tried giving me that intimidating look she couldnt help but smile.

I may have oversayed abit, because she did look at her phone once or twice, so i though best to get going. Paid and left. Didnt make a move and just kissed her on the cheek.

This girl is cool, but not really my type. I'd bang her, but i suspect she is a virgin with the intent to get married in the enext 3-4 years. I wont pursue her, but will always keep her around, as a friend.

THE LESSON: to all you new guys on here, sometimes if you just ignore them, those flakes will come back to you. And if/when they do, you'll realise that they wernt as interesting and as good looking as you remember. So the next time you get flaked on, dont worry and concentrate on enjoying yourself and not if they are enjoying you.

 

[El Payaso]

Honestly, I don't know why any man would add a potential plate or date on Facebook. I feel like the negatives outweigh any perceived benefits. That's probably just me but whatever.

 

[Pardner]

You weren't at your best because she flaked on you twice before. Maybe you were thinking about that too much. Girls will sometimes hit you back up when they are low on options thinking you will go out when they hit you up again. If that was me, I wouldn't have even give her the time of day to be treated as second choice to get flaked on after she contacted me for a date.

 

[nismo-4]

When they do a 180 on me and go from flirtatious to flaky, 99.9% of the time I'll rarely ever text or speak to them again. They will definitely never again get positive attention from me, that's for sure. She goes from potential lay to acting like she hardly knows you? That's beyond flaky to me. It's disrespectful and immature. Fvucking high school bullshiat.

I like that you shrugged it off and went about your business and resolved to spin plates. Solid.

In my opinion you went after her too soon. When she rejected you initially, I think it would have been best to ignore that reply completely, so as to "punish" her with silence. Not saying that this would have re-engaged her interest level. But definitely I wouldn't have "been cool with it." Not sure if you texted her back letting her KNOW that you were cool with it...if you did, I don't suggest doing that with future plates. In my opinion SILENCE is the great equalizer. Women hate being ignored. The exceptionally attractive ones will often react with insecurity when they're ignored, which is exactly what you WANT them to feel in the early phase of courtship.

Another thing is, you texted her AGAIN, i.e. a few days later, after she said that she was "unavailable." Too soon. I would have went ghost on her for a week or two then texted and started the process all over again, with a simple text like "hey." When they don't respond to "Hey" then I dump them from my contacts list.

In my mind it's good to be rejected because that means I'm putting myself out there and I'm at least trying to bang more chicks, but--there's no NEVER a reason I should allow myself to be rejected twice by the same woman.

If she rejects me once, shame on her...

...rejects me twice, shame on me.

A woman only gets one chance with me.

Flake or reject me, you're gone, no questions asked. I remove them promptly from every platform as well. I won't look back.

A flake who comes back months later is low on options and attention. I won't let her back in unless her actions say otherwise. Women who flake know they are flaking.

The only exception I make is if they counter-offer. Without it, they are erased and replaced.

 

[asa_don]

LoL @ "She flaked." Dude, she didn't flake - you set yourself up for failure by asking this chick to tell you when she'd be available, which is the LEAST manliest way you can ask a girl out. I'm actually doing a podcast about why the whole "Let Me Know Your Schedule" routine usually results in no response (or date) from a woman. In short, though, you would have been better off asking her if you could take her to x-activity on A or B day and time. Women aren't trying to plan any aspect of the first few dates with you, including what's convenient for her schedule. It's YOUR job to pick the days, and HER job to bend and be flexible enough to MAKE those days/times work - which she will do IF SHE LIKES YOU.

lame, if she liked him none of this would matter, she would be out with him, i've asked girls their schedule in the past, then i set it up on the best day for me, the dates still happened.

low interest women will give you a flake, asking a woman her schedule who has high interest wont result in a flake, that is the damn truth

.

A woman only gets one chance with me.

Flake or reject me, you're gone, no questions asked. I remove them promptly from every platform as well. I won't look back.

A flake who comes back months later is low on options and attention. I won't let her back in unless her actions say otherwise. Women who flake know they are flaking.

The only exception I make is if they counter-offer. Without it, they are erased and replaced.

exactly, if she was interested from the start she would be out with you, not making excuses not to go out

 

[old_skoolr]

Cheers for the feedback guys

Just some responses, I wasnt 100% because of some family matters that I had to deal with earlier in the day. They were playing in my head, luckily they wernt as distracting as i thought theyd be.

I chose to chase her even after she flaked, because I knew she had some sort of attraction for me. I also knew, being her age and the fact that guys try and hit on her all the time, she was going to make it difficult. Though it wasnt time consuming, like i said I had always had other plans if she chose to bail. If she had come up with another excuse, then I wouldve let her go. I dont give girls that many chances, but this one I just had to make sure.

I've also been abit slack in the dating scene. Ive been concentrating on trying to make this new job I have permanent, and girls have ben the last thing on my mind.

Espi, I've tried just not replying, but to me its always come off as abit immature. Like youve caught feelings coz she cancelled and now your not replying just to show her how upset you are.

Usually if a girl cancels, I'll just message ok no probs and see if she makes other plans, if not I assume shes not interested and move on. The girl in this event was a special case, I wanted to try something different.