Panzergrenadier
Don Juan
Well, after 13 years I'm back here. I remember finding this site back as a junior in college, and boy was it eye opening and the lessons I found really did change my life for the better. That was around 2002. We sure walked with kings back then here. The reason I met my future wife was probably because I did have a new confidence and followed the basic fundamentals when I met her, along with not smothering her with dumb flowers on the first date etc.
13 years later, I've learned a lot. Some of it is particular to me, some may apply to others. I'll share it to give back to the site that started it all.
Falling in love was easy. I had just dated a girl with no attraction signs about two weeks prior to meeting my eventual wife, so when I met here the buying signs were pretty much illuminated with huge flashing strobe lights so obvious I couldn't miss them. I lived in a college town in North Dakota where many others were from very small towns. In that part of the country it was very common for people to marry young. I was looking for an LTR, had a girl that really matched me and was mature and family oriented without any games, and went for it. We met at 21, were married at 23.
Fast forward almost 11 years. We survived a short airline career (terrible for families), then law enforcement (also tough on families). The careers really didn't do it. What happened then? The truth is we both sort of changed and drifted apart. What were common interests in college no longer were interesting to us. Our new interests were no longer common. 13 years of intimacy, 2 kids later, and it was the most boring thing ever. Sex became like a poop, something you do because you kind of have to.
So eventually she goes on this trip and comes home and decides she doesn't want to be married. I did everything wrong, begged, etc. Nothing was going to change it. But I had to fight for my honor and for the sake of my kids. After three months of hurting me, i finally snapped and regained my self respect. Decided I didn't give a flying f@ck if we stayed together. That was the road to recovery. I realized that I was hardly the prize I had been 13 years ago. Not really exciting, didn't put any effort out. I wouldn't have dated myself either in that state!
I learned there is a real danger in marrying young, but marriage in general these days is a huge risk because people change. It takes two to keep a family, it takes just one to quit. When the times got tough she was selfish and immature and quit. This site was right on when people say once she gives up, forget it the best thing you can do is just move on too you won't get her to relove you. All the stuff I learned back in college about nurturing a relationship from here had been long forgotten, in a dusty file cabinet somewhere in the back of my head. Once I decided to move on, came back here, opened the cabinet up again it felt energizing to remember who I once was. The stuff here is truly gold. I'm the prize again. I'm happy with who I am again.
Is it sad? Eh, its life. I'm enjoying the hell of out it right now. I climb mountains again, play hockey several nights in the week, and am in the best shape of my life. I wear my hair the way i like it, listen to the music I like, and an old college friend said "it's like the old you is back." It's like I had been slowly smothered out of who I was and didn't realize it until I was freed. And I am going to meet a girl tomorrow 10 years younger and blonder.
13 years later, I've learned a lot. Some of it is particular to me, some may apply to others. I'll share it to give back to the site that started it all.
Falling in love was easy. I had just dated a girl with no attraction signs about two weeks prior to meeting my eventual wife, so when I met here the buying signs were pretty much illuminated with huge flashing strobe lights so obvious I couldn't miss them. I lived in a college town in North Dakota where many others were from very small towns. In that part of the country it was very common for people to marry young. I was looking for an LTR, had a girl that really matched me and was mature and family oriented without any games, and went for it. We met at 21, were married at 23.
Fast forward almost 11 years. We survived a short airline career (terrible for families), then law enforcement (also tough on families). The careers really didn't do it. What happened then? The truth is we both sort of changed and drifted apart. What were common interests in college no longer were interesting to us. Our new interests were no longer common. 13 years of intimacy, 2 kids later, and it was the most boring thing ever. Sex became like a poop, something you do because you kind of have to.
So eventually she goes on this trip and comes home and decides she doesn't want to be married. I did everything wrong, begged, etc. Nothing was going to change it. But I had to fight for my honor and for the sake of my kids. After three months of hurting me, i finally snapped and regained my self respect. Decided I didn't give a flying f@ck if we stayed together. That was the road to recovery. I realized that I was hardly the prize I had been 13 years ago. Not really exciting, didn't put any effort out. I wouldn't have dated myself either in that state!
I learned there is a real danger in marrying young, but marriage in general these days is a huge risk because people change. It takes two to keep a family, it takes just one to quit. When the times got tough she was selfish and immature and quit. This site was right on when people say once she gives up, forget it the best thing you can do is just move on too you won't get her to relove you. All the stuff I learned back in college about nurturing a relationship from here had been long forgotten, in a dusty file cabinet somewhere in the back of my head. Once I decided to move on, came back here, opened the cabinet up again it felt energizing to remember who I once was. The stuff here is truly gold. I'm the prize again. I'm happy with who I am again.
Is it sad? Eh, its life. I'm enjoying the hell of out it right now. I climb mountains again, play hockey several nights in the week, and am in the best shape of my life. I wear my hair the way i like it, listen to the music I like, and an old college friend said "it's like the old you is back." It's like I had been slowly smothered out of who I was and didn't realize it until I was freed. And I am going to meet a girl tomorrow 10 years younger and blonder.
