Leaving Oneitis Girl

Waive

Don Juan
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As the title says I've decided to leave the girl I've had oneitis for. The simple fact of the matter is she's not as interested in me as she once was. Not too long ago this very problem sent me through a major bout of depression but thanks to a lot of great advice I've read on this website I know that not only can I walk away I MUST.

For the first time in a long time I finally feel at peace with myself. Slowly yet surely the AFC in me is dying. I do still have aspirations to find a woman and start a family someday but I'm sure as hell going to make sure that it happens on my terms.
 

SoSuave666

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Good for you man. Not sure of your age, but women in the 20-27 range will more often than not have a greater sense of entitlement than older women. Women figured out their clocks. They know they can do whatever they want at a young age and wise up as they get closer to their wall. They get their cake, and they eat it too.

A females prime contribution to society, save a select few, are their looks. Their market value is at it's height when they are prettiest. For men, our market value is completely different. Sure, it's definitely beneficial to be more attractive, but out real market value is based on our utility. The more experience you gain, wisdom you have, and really overall monetary value, provide the essence of our worth. At a young age, you don't really have that. We do have the benefit though of not having a wall, especially in our 20s. The whole relationship clock is just a weird concept. Women are in their primes during a time when most men are still figuring themselves out.

Concerning oneitis: it's imperative to be happy and secure with yourself...with or without a woman's touch. Secks is great, as is connection with someone. But really, it's your connection with yourself that means the most. It's good that you feel at peace with your decision. You'll see lots of guys on here questioning themselves and wondering if their ex will ever come back. Women are just like men in the respect that they are just tryin to get by. The means to that end is of course very, very different. Here is one of my absolute favorite quotes of all time circling the pickup community, and it really does ring true:

"She may look fit, sexy and sophisticated, but after shes naked with mascara running down her face and shes trying to stuff her thighs into a pair of too small jeans at 2am, you realise shes just another person trying to get by."
 

Waive

Don Juan
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SoSuave666 said:
Concerning oneitis: it's imperative to be happy and secure with yourself...with or without a woman's touch.
That is one of the hardest and most important lessons I've ever learned. Too many guys are judging themselves based on whether they have a woman or not. Good men will eventually get a good woman and the best men don't need a woman.
 

Scars

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Props to identifying her lack of interest and deciding to cut the ties now. This already sets you light years ahead of other AFC's. Regardless, I know it sucks. You have my sympathies, but don't think too hard about it and use the knowledge you've learned here to prospect some other plates. It's all experience man. I've failed and made mistakes with more woman than I've banged. Don't get me wrong though, I've banged a lot of woman too. I just learned from my mistakes. Keep learning and take the DJ path even though sometimes it's not an easy one.

-Scars
 

DonJuanabe

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You know it's funny, I am still a bit hung up on my oneitis (five months have since gone by) but it's in large part because of my mistakes with her, like not dressing as well as I should have, not being aggressive when she gave me the opportunity ("I have a spare bedroom for guests, but not EVERYONE has to use it... [stares me directly in the eyes] I'm tired are YOU tired?"), not taking her on a serious/romantic date instead hanging out with some of my friends, etc.

But, in your case or in mine, there is a beneficial end result: learn from the situation.

For you, you've learned to cut ties sooner than you have when you know a girl isn't as interested as she needs to be and not to become more emotionally into a girl than she is in you. You see, the longer you pine for a girl who is less interested than you are, the more emotionally invested you become because you keep trying and keep hoping. Nip it ASAP.

For me, I learned that if a girl wants to go on a second date with you the focus of that date is escalation, not friendship.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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