Hello everyone, this is my first post. I have been lurking this site for like 2 or 3 years now, trying to absorb whatever knowledge sounded true and sound in my mind.
When I first discover the sited I was (I guess like many) a disaster and was in a horrible relationship that destroyed me like nothing else. BPD probably, a real sick person.
Over the years I learned a lot but I couldn’t leave this woman behind and she we were completely obsessed with each other. I dumped her like 7 times and end up returning every couple months because I just couldn’t find interest in another girl and there she was. Smoking hot, awesome sex, always waiting for me and it was too easy to just say yes and **** her for a while. But it always made my life miserable.
On each break up, I focused on myself. Tried to lose weight (the battle of my life) read a lot, become more social. And each time I returned with her I ended up losing some of what I had achieved.
The last time I break up with her was 1 month ago. But this time, something is different.
I kind of like fell in love with another girl (which is a very rare thing in my life!). I won’t go describing what she is like. It’s enough to say that it’s the first time I can talk to a girl in MY language and it’s a lot of fun.
The problem is that she has a boyfriend. This reason alone made me make no move AT ALL. Because I had swered in the past that I will never be part of an infidelity again. So, I put her on the friend zone.
However, without making a conscious effort I noticed that I was following the DJ bible to perfection with this girl and we begun to talk more and more. And at some point we started to flirt pretty often and she gives me a LOT of high level interest indicators. Eventually I realized that I REALLY liked this girl and I said **** it I will ask her out on a “friendly” date to check things out a little more. And I did, and she said yes. We are going out next week because she is studying for a final next Monday.
BUT, she still has a boyfriend. When she talks with me, it’s like he doesn’t exist. But he is there, and he seems very very happy with her.
This puts me in a rough position for 2 reasons:
- I don’t want to **** up a bro, even if I don’t know the guy that much. I just think it’s not right.
- It makes me doubt of the whole thing. I have been with a couple of girls but I never had success with one I had feelings for. And I can’t take the failure mindset out of my mind. I end up rationalizing everything and thinking she is just being friendly.
I guess I need some advice, see what other people think or would do in my shoes.
Sorry for the long post and possible grammar mistakes, I’m not a native English speaker.
When I first discover the sited I was (I guess like many) a disaster and was in a horrible relationship that destroyed me like nothing else. BPD probably, a real sick person.
Over the years I learned a lot but I couldn’t leave this woman behind and she we were completely obsessed with each other. I dumped her like 7 times and end up returning every couple months because I just couldn’t find interest in another girl and there she was. Smoking hot, awesome sex, always waiting for me and it was too easy to just say yes and **** her for a while. But it always made my life miserable.
On each break up, I focused on myself. Tried to lose weight (the battle of my life) read a lot, become more social. And each time I returned with her I ended up losing some of what I had achieved.
The last time I break up with her was 1 month ago. But this time, something is different.
I kind of like fell in love with another girl (which is a very rare thing in my life!). I won’t go describing what she is like. It’s enough to say that it’s the first time I can talk to a girl in MY language and it’s a lot of fun.
The problem is that she has a boyfriend. This reason alone made me make no move AT ALL. Because I had swered in the past that I will never be part of an infidelity again. So, I put her on the friend zone.
However, without making a conscious effort I noticed that I was following the DJ bible to perfection with this girl and we begun to talk more and more. And at some point we started to flirt pretty often and she gives me a LOT of high level interest indicators. Eventually I realized that I REALLY liked this girl and I said **** it I will ask her out on a “friendly” date to check things out a little more. And I did, and she said yes. We are going out next week because she is studying for a final next Monday.
BUT, she still has a boyfriend. When she talks with me, it’s like he doesn’t exist. But he is there, and he seems very very happy with her.
This puts me in a rough position for 2 reasons:
- I don’t want to **** up a bro, even if I don’t know the guy that much. I just think it’s not right.
- It makes me doubt of the whole thing. I have been with a couple of girls but I never had success with one I had feelings for. And I can’t take the failure mindset out of my mind. I end up rationalizing everything and thinking she is just being friendly.
I guess I need some advice, see what other people think or would do in my shoes.
Sorry for the long post and possible grammar mistakes, I’m not a native English speaker.
