Learning when to walk away...from this site

[Burningblue]

Too much of a good thing is usually a bad thing. I’ve noticed that this rule holds true with this website. There is a definite progression. In the beginning, a guy comes here broken hearted and looking for answers and a place to vent. He finds many of the answers in the DJ Bible and finds a place to vent in the forum. So far so good. He gets on the road to recovery but then he acquires a habit even more dangerous than acting like a chump. He gives too much weight to what is being said around here. Instead of thinking for himself he thinks in terms of this website. The terms DJ, AFC, inner game, sarging, C&F, AMOG, negging, kino, plate spinning, etc, stick in his head and become part of his psyche. That’s when things go awry. He thinks way too much. He tries to apply techniques in situations where he should be applying common sense. He goes too far in trying to be a man and actually becomes a jerk. Here’s a newsflash….healthy women like confident, masculine guys but they will eventually dump a jerk. That is a fact.
Then, he starts to take advice from people who have no business giving it. When you take advice from someone on sosuave you are taking advice from a stranger. This person may just be a nerd who lives in his parent’s basement and has never been on a date, much less had a relationship or sex. If you see someone who has made THOUSANDS of posts in the space of a couple years, that just might be who you are talking to. You see, online you can be anyone you want to be. For some of these guys, this is the only place anyone considers them to be men. So, don't believe every story you hear.
Now, there are some guys around here who actually know what they are talking about. They consistently give advice that makes sense and actually try to help people through tough situations. I don’t wish to take anything away from these guys because they do a service here and they do it for free. You know who you are. They are easy to spot. However, there are also lots of losers who aren’t looking to help anyone or learn anything. They either give ridiculous advice or they just want someone to mindlessly slap around so they can feel special. Now, sometimes a verbal slap is called for but it’s easy to tell when it’s not. If you want to find the losers who are putting up a false front, start by looking for the ones who constantly brag of how many plates they are spinning, how women chase them, and how they get copious amounts of sex. A truly confident man doesn’t need to boast of these things. A truly confident man does not need affirmation from strangers on the internet. They know who they are too. Learn to spot them. By the way, the terms Senior Don Juan and Master Don Juan are automatically awarded based on the number of posts, so don’t associate knowledge with these titles.
I really think that the best thing a guy can do is read the DJ bible, get a few clarifications, and then leave. Come back once in a while if you’ve got some new pearl of wisdom or need to motivate, but hanging around here too long can be a really, really, bad thing. In fact, hanging around this website too much can be a sign that you place way too much importance on women. I think the lessons of real value can be summed up in a few simple rules.
1. Have plenty of happiness in your life and don’t base that happiness on women.
2. Act like a man. This means that life’s little traumas make you more determined but they never beat you down.
3. Be confident no matter what. This needs to be true confidence NOT fake confidence.
4. Don’t try too hard to be hard. Emotion can be a good thing in a relationship if you don’t overdo it too soon. A funny, confident, masculine ROBOT will eventually get dumped.
5. When it’s time to walk away, walk away.
I really think that’s all anyone needs to know. It’s not rocket science. As for me, I’ve become too wrapped up in this stuff. It is time to apply rule number five. Burningblue out.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Agree. I take 6-8 week breaks from posting here. I get bored with the same old discussion, then comeback, get bored again-- repeating this cycle over and over again.

 

[WestCoaster]

Agree, I left for a year and it was the best thing for me. I'm going to leave again real soon. When I find myself slipping into AFC mode, I come back, usually to read the articles which are usually WAY better than the message board.

There is a distinct pattern here as you pointed out. The funny acronyms are tired and I'm as bad as anyone in using them. I find the term "sarging" to be freaking hilarious, not cool.

If you told your friends, "I used to be an AFC, but now I'm a DJ, so I'm gonna get my inner game on and go sarge tonight," they'd laugh their a$$es off.

I highly recommend taking a break, temporarily or permanently. It's good for the soul. The articles and DJ Bible is about all one needs here. I tire of the "I want my ex" back and "I'm such a stud I boink anything with a pulse" threads. Yawn.

When I was told I had no "inner game" a few months ago by some guy I've never met, that was about it for me. What a complete joke.

Take a break, it's good for one's soul.

 

[Spike_the_Dragon]

I come back every once in a great while just to keep my sanity. I usually stay clear of the message boards, however. I mostly come back to read the DJ Bible, and to see who is still hanging around. I kinda' think of this place as a sanctuary, of sorts.

I'll be taking off again pretty soon.

...And probably come back in about a year or so if the site is still up.

By the way, whatever happend to Crazykid/Eternal ?

 

[speed dawg]

Too much of a good thing is usually a bad thing............He thinks way too much. He tries to apply techniques in situations where he should be applying common sense. He goes too far in trying to be a man and actually becomes a jerk. Here’s a newsflash….healthy women like confident, masculine guys but they will eventually dump a jerk. That is a fact. .

Never a truer statement has been posted here. I fell into this trap myself. I won't do it again. A few posters here are TOO far to the extreme. Not woman-haters, just too extreme. Excellent post.

 

[d9930380]

Ah true - I should probably leave too but what the **** else I'm I going to do in work ;-)