LDR comes to end after 8 months.. 2 questions..

[absolutealex]

I rarely post here, mainly lurk here and there.

I posted a thread back about her mom dislking me. Anyway, a little back story she goes to school roughly 3000 miles away from me. We got together over the summer of last year. Hit of perfectly, I know this sounds chumpish, but I really havent connected with anyone quite like her. Well, september rolled around and we decided that we would stay faithful to each other - which we did. We called each other every day to every other day. We were pretty good about it. We saw each other for thanksgiving and also for christmas. She was here up till 3 weeks ago.

Before, she left we talked about going on trips together when we could and such. We planned everything out. On top of that I was going to visit her on over a 3-day holiday comming up. When I dropped her off, she literally cried and made me promise that I was going to visit.

At this point, this is where everything went downhill. We spoke maybe 3 times since then. And then a couple days ago she sent me an email saying the trip wasnt possible. And then another email the next day saying that "we needed to talk" uh oh. We talked on the phone and she basically poured her heart out saying how hard it was that I wasnt there with her and no matter how much we talked it would never be what it could really be. And how every LDR ends horribly in some way and how that's not what she wanted for us. I tried rationalizing with her that it could work - no avail.

Anyway, I did allot of thinking and I figured she was right and that the distance was something we really couldnt avoid. So, I wrote her a letter explaining that she was right and how we should do our own things for awhile, and maybe try this again when distance isnt an issue. She's suppose to receive it today.

So, my question is, is that did I do the right thing? As bad as it sounds, I honestly believe that she's the perfect girl - but the timing is just horrible. And the other question is, what do you guys think made her change her mind so quickly from planning trips together to this?

TIA

cliffnotes: Got in a LDR w/ a girl. Perfect girl, wrong time. She says she can't bear me not being there with her. Question is in the last paragraph.

 

[reyalp]

omg man thanks for the cliff notes, nobody does that.


about the "we need to talk", i like how rodney carrington puts it:
If your wife says to you, "We need to talk," horse sh!t. Start a fire in your house, it's easier to deal with. Cause when your wife says to you, "We need to talk" it does not mean we need to talk, it means you need to sit there and listen while I tell you all the ways you've been fuc*in' up! That's what that means. You ain't never gonna hear a man say, "We need to talk,"...Unless...He caught a disease while he was out fishing...




but anyway man i think you're doing the right thing by not acting needy and just agreeing with her


i had a live-in for a while, she used to try to start fights, i'd just agree with her, it would make her soooo mad, because she'd really be wanting to start a fight and i kept diffusing it by agreeing with her

 

[MacAvoy]

I agree with the actions that you took. Either way you can't go wrong. You've saved your pride and kept your heart from breaking by agreeing to the breakup. Secondly, if you decide she is worth it, you did everything right for her to realize you are the prize and she is throwing away something great. I

It may have been a sh1t test too. Now she'll be wondering, does he have another girl that he wants to see? She'll be coming crawling back to you soon. Hold your ground, don't take her sh1t. Make her realize she can't just toss you out w/ the trash, that your valuable.

If nothing else, you can turn her into a great LD FB a few times a year. Good to see guys making the right choice off the hop.

 

[absolutealex]

I was kind of second guessing that desicion earlier, but I think I made the right desicion.

She means allot to me, but yeah it has to be done.

 

[absolutealex]

anymore input?

 

[rascal]

good call.

You opened the possibility of maybe getting back together when she comes back. If anything she could be a **** buddy. I'm glad you did'nt do what most AFC's would have done and write

"how could you do this to me"
"you ***** " ... blah blah blah ... and be all bitter and ****.

I suggest you move on with your life, start implementing the PUA techniques you learned. When she comes back, you've developed your PUA skills, then she'll be like

"hey he changed ...... for the better"

 

[absolutealex]

excuse my ignorance but what does PUA stand for?

 

[resilient]

pick up artist

 

[absolutealex]

hmm.. she said she'd call me right when she got my letter. According to fedex it was received @ 8 am. She hasnt, I kinda get a feeling that this is a rediclous test.

 

[Ricky]

I had the same thing happen when i moved last year.

My girlfriend broke up with me. It sucked really bad. but what do you do?

I still want her back but i'm out ****ing other girls.

ANd she knew i was really sad.

We still talk sometimes. I know i'm the best choice for her, but is she the best choice for me?

Read that last sentence over. You are the best choice for her, but is she the best choice for you.

 

[Bobbles]

All evidence that LDR's don't work.

I am sure she just met some other guy over there. After all why would she bother ending a perfectly good arrangement unless she had somewhere else to go.

A relationship isn't a relationship unless both people are there to have the relationship with each other.

 

[absolutealex]

hmmm UPDATE

we talked on the phone last night, we talked as if nothing happened.... and then she slipped.

it went something like this..

Her: Your best friend is probably your right hand right now huh? (refering to her thinking that I'm masturbating allot)

Me: Oh no, my fat dirty w hores do that kind of stuff for me now.

Her: WHAT!?!?!?! You better not be sleeping with anyone else!

Me: But you broke up with me last week

Her: Whatever, you can do whatever you want.

 

[\O/]

Originally posted by absolutealex
hmmm UPDATE

we talked on the phone last night, we talked as if nothing happened.... and then she slipped.

it went something like this..

Her: Your best friend is probably your right hand right now huh? (refering to her thinking that I'm masturbating allot)

Me: Oh no, my fat dirty w hores do that kind of stuff for me now.

Her: WHAT!?!?!?! You better not be sleeping with anyone else!

Me: But you broke up with me last week

Her: Whatever, you can do whatever you want.

In a LDR your right hand is basically your best friend every day.


She sounds like a *****. No offense,

 

[absolutealex]

Originally posted by \O/

She sounds like a *****. No offense,

Well to give her credit, she did stand outside in negative 10 degree weather for 40 minutes to talk to me, since she gets no reception inside.