Laying down the law .... is this right?

JohnChops

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So this b1tch im FWB with decided to start being a tease, me being me, I dont take that sh1t anymore. So I told this girl, "If you tease me one more time ill toss your number and never speak to you again :rock: ". She said "haha yeah sure" (thinking i was joking) then I said it again with a serious (semi) face and she said "wait really" im like "mhm test the waters if youd like" and now she hasnt teased me since.

Was doing this right? I feel like I regained control but not sure if it had an implications.

Lemme know what you fellas think
 

Interceptor

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Sometimes teasing is a female's crude way of flirting. Its their way of **** testing you. Its all about checking your 'armor'.
It does depend. So without being there and seeing the interaction its hard to exactly tell you what it IS.

But it can be that she has feelings for you. In fact, I think if she thought you were weird or didnt want to be around you she wouldnt tease, she would avoid you actually.

So in this case, I believe there are some feelings for you. But oftentimes, females are very conflicted. She may feel some attraction to you, but she's looking for a way to negate you. Something to make her feel that youre not that special?
So she's kind of trying to deal with her emotions for you.
And because she doesnt have much experience dealing with men, she does this with them. Not understanding that teasing is something men take seriously. In man world, and man speak teasing is an offense.
We only tolerate it if the person doing it has our respect, and we have a very deep trust and bond with them.

Another thing to consider is that she's trying to see what makes you tick. Its about finding out your reactions, really. How do you react to this? how would you react to that? Its female fact finding a lot of times.
This is a typical female reaction. And its usually quite awkward.
They dont really know what to do with men. So this weird teasing thing comes out , thinking that we somehow enjoy it. But we dont.

Teasing often comes from a lack of respect. And men usually read it as such.

She could be nervous around you. And she has so much pride that she doesnt want to let on that she's uncomfortable dealing with you. She's trying to hide her insecurity, so in order to appear confident, she will tease you. After all, a person that was timid, insecure, etc wouldnt be so bold and daring to tease someone else, would they?
So she might be trying to hide her insecurity.

Another thing that she may be trying, awkwardly, is trying to Banter with you. She wants to see if you have that kind of witty, charming comeback to banter with her. And that often attracts women.
Women seem to find a playful back and forth banter as attractive.
So it could be her version of being playful with you.


Some female simply dont understand men. And dont understand that men have emotional complexity to them. So they think that all men are superficial and wouldnt be offended by teasing. But we sometimes are.

So, again, theres that thing that females have where they want to test your metal, as it were. They want to see if you crack, and how you crack.
This gives them and idea of your emotional capacity, and how you handle stress.

That **** testing is all about finding out about you. So that may be a good sign for you.

Females are just programmed to be inquisitive about you, and find out information about you for their safety. Its all about finding out if they will be safe with you.


Well, I offered a few things to think about. Again, its hard to be able to say without having seen the interaction, and know her expressions , etc.

If this subject comes up, just say something like you dont appreciate being teased like that . You find it disrespectful, and not humorous.
If she had a closer bond with you, and you had more trust in her, and a deeper relationship with her, you would trust that she wasnt being mean , she was just being awkwardly playful, and you would understand.
But that you dont appreciate that behavior from her because you simply dont have as deep a bond there.
Thats where you introduce making your bond with her deeper, and develop something more meaningful with her, or not, if youre not interested.

I would like to add, that in a certain context teasing a man could be a female who really is cynical, and condescending of men. So in worst case scenario, it could just be that she has had a few bad interactions, and relationships with men, and has become the typical "I hate all men. All men are pigs. There are no good men.All men are stupid. Blah blah blah..." thing going on. So that may also be a factor unfortunately. Hopefully it isnt in this case.

Good luck.
 

Fatal Jay

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Women start teasing and holding back on the poon, to make you do things to earn


you laid down the law,if she does it again, follow through and drop her ass like a bad habit
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Absolutely can't comment in a meaningful way without you giving context. Context is VERY important in a situation like this one.
 

JohnChops

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TillTheEndOfTime said:
Absolutely can't comment in a meaningful way without you giving context. Context is VERY important in a situation like this one.
Im all down for verbal flirting , ill flirt right back even stronger. However, lemme clarify the situation a bit. She has been PHYSICALLY teasing me. For example shell grab my **** start rubbing it and then walk away , start making out with me and then walk away. She pretty much does some kind of sexual act and then walks away. All at fvcking work too o_0 shes must be mental. I dont mind work relationships or whatever, but this girl teasing me... physically at work is insane. Then i told her this and she hasnt done it , just worked with her today.
 

Atom Smasher

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Turn your back on her next time she approaches you. Don't engage in a verbal duel... you will lose.

Dogs are trained with body language and enforced discipline, not reason. The same applies to today's woman. Use words and you lose. Use Frame Control and dominance and you win.
 

Asterisk

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At first glance, I might've said you did the right thing.....
However, I probably would've told her "Do that again, and your getting a
t!tty twister!" and then followed through on my promise...
 

Wilko

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Yeah, a little short on context, I'm sure the OP was trying to avoid boring us with too much detail - it's always a tricky thing to judge.

I like the line you dropped! It sounds like something Don Draper would say to a churlish client! Anyway, we needn't filter everything we do or say according to the DJ-bible. You can't affect detached indifference all the goddamned time, it's not human. It's actually a relief to see someone else admitting to a little naked aggression for once. To hell with the implications; maybe it makes her moist, maybe she takes her pvssy elsewhere, we can't be second-guessing everything we say all the time. If it was authentic in that moment, and you wanted to say what you said, that's good enough.
 

JohnChops

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Wilko said:
Yeah, a little short on context, I'm sure the OP was trying to avoid boring us with too much detail - it's always a tricky thing to judge.

I like the line you dropped! It sounds like something Don Draper would say to a churlish client! Anyway, we needn't filter everything we do or say according to the DJ-bible. You can't affect detached indifference all the goddamned time, it's not human. It's actually a relief to see someone else admitting to a little naked aggression for once. To hell with the implications; maybe it makes her moist, maybe she takes her pvssy elsewhere, we can't be second-guessing everything we say all the time. If it was authentic in that moment, and you wanted to say what you said, that's good enough.
that last line gave me chills. I just love that. You're right man, who gives a FVCK! I like that attitude a lot.

@Atom hmmm its like conditioning. I agree man, you cant talk to any woman and win. Whatever you say ill always be wrong. Actions really do speak louder than words with everything.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Given the context, I think a direct confrontation was not the best move. It would have been better to start a bit of NC. Not full on NC, but just withdraw a lot of attention. Avoiding eye contact, using body language to block her out (always standing with your should pointing away from her), etc.

Instead of giving her an ultimatum, make her come running back to you.

I just find that actions speak louder than words 100x over with girls.
 

JohnChops

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See now TTEOT and PAirRoyal have conflicting statements :p. Next time she does it ill just walk away, use my actions and not my words. Plus that would reinforce my words any way.
 

omega05

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This is at work? not a good place to be doing that unless it's like a minimum wage job or something
 

JohnChops

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omega05 said:
This is at work? not a good place to be doing that unless it's like a minimum wage job or something
shes transferring out thank god, but yes she does that sh1t at work . Ha talked to her about a week ago about the same time I made this post, she said she was looking for a psychiatrist and how she is depressed. Red flags anyone? As soon as she said that in my mind im like "oh man all this stuff just makes sense now".

I just deleted her number and decided not to speak to her unless its work related. Problem solved :up:
 

Igetit!

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JohnChops said:
Im all down for verbal flirting , ill flirt right back even stronger. However, lemme clarify the situation a bit. She has been PHYSICALLY teasing me. For example shell grab my **** start rubbing it and then walk away , start making out with me and then walk away. She pretty much does some kind of sexual act and then walks away. All at fvcking work too o_0 shes must be mental. I dont mind work relationships or whatever, but this girl teasing me... physically at work is insane. Then i told her this and she hasnt done it , just worked with her today.

Wait a sec. I wanna see if I read that right.....


Did you say this chick "grabs your d1ck and rubs it",then walks away,then she'll "start making out with you",then walk away???



Umm,how the hell did all that happen? What's your relation to this girl? The reason I ask is because you don't go from the "Hi,my name is" stage to this sh1t you're dealing with WITHOUT a whole lot of twist and turns,errors and mistakes along the way somewhere.



You said you deleted her number. What were you doing with it in the first place,why did you originally ask for it/she give it to you? You MUST have tried to date her or something,then it deteriorated into this nonsense cause chicks don't go around grabbing dudes' junk and making out with them without some type of sexual interaction happening prior.


Obviously this must have been some sort of pickup attempt gone wrong.....HORRIBLY wrong. :crackup:
 

JohnChops

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Igetit! said:
Wait a sec. I wanna see if I read that right.....


Did you say this chick "grabs your d1ck and rubs it",then walks away,then she'll "start making out with you",then walk away???



Umm,how the hell did all that happen? What's your relation to this girl? The reason I ask is because you don't go from the "Hi,my name is" stage to this sh1t you're dealing with WITHOUT a whole lot of twist and turns,errors and mistakes along the way somewhere.



You said you deleted her number. What were you doing with it in the first place,why did you originally ask for it/she give it to you? You MUST have tried to date her or something,then it deteriorated into this nonsense cause chicks don't go around grabbing dudes' junk and making out with them without some type of sexual interaction happening prior.


Obviously this must have been some sort of pickup attempt gone wrong.....HORRIBLY wrong. :crackup:
Haha, lemme clarify. She texted me nudes last year on new years, when I barley even knew her lol. Then a couple months later we were a FWB type thing. Then after that I just stopped speaking to her because i started talking to someone else and just didnt feel like talking to her anymore. Fast forward to a month ago, we became FWB again and she told me how she loved me, wanted to merry me and wanted kids :nervous: she tried to date ME not the other way around . Then I broke it off again and recently she was like "i know you dont want anything serious so lets be FWB again". Im like sure whatever. So as soon as she said that , thats when the teasing began and then i said what i said in the OP. And now im here, deleted number, and not speaking to her anymore because why should i?

So IgetIt , it wasnt a pick up attempt it was more like a FWB gone wrong :D . She was clearly insane and I didnt notice the signs until last weekend but damn she is mental.
 
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