Tryin to Grow a Chin
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2002
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! DISCLAIMER !
There are, doubtless, many among you who will think I'm full of shyt with this one, and I can hardly blame you; I myself find it difficult to believe that last night's events actually occurred. But rest assured that the story I am about to recount is all too true.
The Party that Wasn't
A friend of mine had been hyping his birthday party for weeks, promising it would be a splendid time for all. His plan was to have me buy a shytload of liquor and beer, then force some kid to let us throw the party at his house while we locked him in the closet, helplessly intoxicated.
The kid we set out to exploit backed out at the last minute so the party didn't happen as planned. Scores of idiots were left with no party, myself and birthday-boy included. We shared a car with four other people: some dude, HBFreaky(7.5), HBJailbait(too young to consider), and HBChickenhead (8.5). An alternate plan had to be found.
Plan B
We wound up going to HBFreaky's house to drink all the excess liquor and beer that had been intended for dozens upon dozens of people. I had to sit that one out because I don't drink/get high anymore.
Essentially I sat there and made wiseass remarks while they all got sloshed and played videogames.
Somewhere around two a.m. in the morning HBMellow (7) and an old old friend of mine, Phil (who I hadn't seen in THREE YEARS) showed up to party. HBMellow continually told me how great I looked since the last time she saw me (if she ever actually did before that) and agreed with everything I said, laying heavy kino on me. I was C + F (default setting) and was in a relaxed and confident mindset so I qualified her continually, since I didn't really give a shyt what happened. I reciprocated kino when I felt like it, usually as a reward for doing me small favors. She insisted I take her number.
Throughout the course of the night various other people showed up to the 'party' but most of them passed out. Those of us who remained conscious took it upon ourselves to pose the sleeping idiots in embarrassing ways and take pictures. At first we just painted people's faces with markers and shyt like that; it was pretty lame.
Up a Notch
Phil and I achieved a new level of synergy that we never would have thought possible during the old AFC days. We came up with the idea of posing the sleeping drunks in various ways that would destroy their reputation. It started out with me and each of the other guys taking turns teabagging birthday-boy (he drank WAYYYY too much and was practically comatose) while one of the chicks snapped a photo. HBChickenhead was not shy about showing her tits and we took several shots of her with her tits on the victims' faces.
Next I decide to position my c0ck next to a victim's mouth so a photo could be taken. I did this without hesitation in front of everybody. I have no shame.
My Mind is Boggled
Gradually the focus shifts from pranks to actual pornography. It started out small, such as a photo of my licking HBChickenhead's tits, or Phil with her and HBMellow smothering him with their boobs. Nothing exciting.
Phil is a persuasive manipulator and manages to entice HBChickenhead into various sexual positions to be photographed. Under pressure, and with all these people watching, it is difficult to get a proper hard-on, so Phil finagles HBChickenhead into taking turns blowing us. At one point HBMellow joined in and Phil took a nice shot of me with two mouths on my wang at once . We also took a good photo of me with my tongue on HBChickenhead's snatch.
The shoot culminates in a double penetration shot with HBChickenhead. Phil was on the bottom and I had it in her ass from up top. I had to keep telling myself that all this shyt was actually happening because it was so fvcking surreal.
Boring Lay
HBMellow invites me to stay at her house, we fondle each other for a bit and start making out (her breath was HORRIBLE) and within minutes we fvck. She went through the whole porn star vocalization routine (OH YEAH! OH YEAH!) which I found irritating. I went to sleep immediately and refused to even make conversation when we were done (hey, at least I made her come).
In the a.m. I tried to sneak out without her realizing it but she manages to find me walking home and gives me a ride. I avoided all eye contact, acted very aloof, and refused to touch her at all. When she dropped me off I said, "maybe we'll chill again. Later." And that was that.
Analysis
I can't believe this shyt really happened. Apparently all my effort is finally paying off, where I can somehow manage to star in porno and nab a ONS, without really trying in the same night. I need to hang out with alkies more often.
Let me tell you though, if someone had told me all this was going to happen a year ago, I would never have believed them. What a chump I was then, a sorry hopeless AFC. Look at me now.
I don't know what else to say, I'm fvcking speechless. Like I said at the beginning, if you're just going to tell me I'm full of shyt and this never took place, please refrain from posting to that effect and while you're at it go fvck yourself. However, comments and critiques from everybody else are more than welcome.
There are, doubtless, many among you who will think I'm full of shyt with this one, and I can hardly blame you; I myself find it difficult to believe that last night's events actually occurred. But rest assured that the story I am about to recount is all too true.
The Party that Wasn't
A friend of mine had been hyping his birthday party for weeks, promising it would be a splendid time for all. His plan was to have me buy a shytload of liquor and beer, then force some kid to let us throw the party at his house while we locked him in the closet, helplessly intoxicated.
The kid we set out to exploit backed out at the last minute so the party didn't happen as planned. Scores of idiots were left with no party, myself and birthday-boy included. We shared a car with four other people: some dude, HBFreaky(7.5), HBJailbait(too young to consider), and HBChickenhead (8.5). An alternate plan had to be found.
Plan B
We wound up going to HBFreaky's house to drink all the excess liquor and beer that had been intended for dozens upon dozens of people. I had to sit that one out because I don't drink/get high anymore.
Essentially I sat there and made wiseass remarks while they all got sloshed and played videogames.
Somewhere around two a.m. in the morning HBMellow (7) and an old old friend of mine, Phil (who I hadn't seen in THREE YEARS) showed up to party. HBMellow continually told me how great I looked since the last time she saw me (if she ever actually did before that) and agreed with everything I said, laying heavy kino on me. I was C + F (default setting) and was in a relaxed and confident mindset so I qualified her continually, since I didn't really give a shyt what happened. I reciprocated kino when I felt like it, usually as a reward for doing me small favors. She insisted I take her number.
Throughout the course of the night various other people showed up to the 'party' but most of them passed out. Those of us who remained conscious took it upon ourselves to pose the sleeping idiots in embarrassing ways and take pictures. At first we just painted people's faces with markers and shyt like that; it was pretty lame.
Up a Notch
Phil and I achieved a new level of synergy that we never would have thought possible during the old AFC days. We came up with the idea of posing the sleeping drunks in various ways that would destroy their reputation. It started out with me and each of the other guys taking turns teabagging birthday-boy (he drank WAYYYY too much and was practically comatose) while one of the chicks snapped a photo. HBChickenhead was not shy about showing her tits and we took several shots of her with her tits on the victims' faces.
Next I decide to position my c0ck next to a victim's mouth so a photo could be taken. I did this without hesitation in front of everybody. I have no shame.
My Mind is Boggled
Gradually the focus shifts from pranks to actual pornography. It started out small, such as a photo of my licking HBChickenhead's tits, or Phil with her and HBMellow smothering him with their boobs. Nothing exciting.
Phil is a persuasive manipulator and manages to entice HBChickenhead into various sexual positions to be photographed. Under pressure, and with all these people watching, it is difficult to get a proper hard-on, so Phil finagles HBChickenhead into taking turns blowing us. At one point HBMellow joined in and Phil took a nice shot of me with two mouths on my wang at once . We also took a good photo of me with my tongue on HBChickenhead's snatch.
The shoot culminates in a double penetration shot with HBChickenhead. Phil was on the bottom and I had it in her ass from up top. I had to keep telling myself that all this shyt was actually happening because it was so fvcking surreal.
Boring Lay
HBMellow invites me to stay at her house, we fondle each other for a bit and start making out (her breath was HORRIBLE) and within minutes we fvck. She went through the whole porn star vocalization routine (OH YEAH! OH YEAH!) which I found irritating. I went to sleep immediately and refused to even make conversation when we were done (hey, at least I made her come).
In the a.m. I tried to sneak out without her realizing it but she manages to find me walking home and gives me a ride. I avoided all eye contact, acted very aloof, and refused to touch her at all. When she dropped me off I said, "maybe we'll chill again. Later." And that was that.
Analysis
I can't believe this shyt really happened. Apparently all my effort is finally paying off, where I can somehow manage to star in porno and nab a ONS, without really trying in the same night. I need to hang out with alkies more often.
Let me tell you though, if someone had told me all this was going to happen a year ago, I would never have believed them. What a chump I was then, a sorry hopeless AFC. Look at me now.
I don't know what else to say, I'm fvcking speechless. Like I said at the beginning, if you're just going to tell me I'm full of shyt and this never took place, please refrain from posting to that effect and while you're at it go fvck yourself. However, comments and critiques from everybody else are more than welcome.
