Hey guys and girls, I found this website by googling about something that's on my mind. The fact that I google it, probably proves that it really is on my mind.
What I'm about to tell you might sound a little cold or crude to some so pardon me if I offend you but here goes (dont worry it doesn't contain anything gross or something
).
I'm 29 years old. I basically had never touched a woman before I was 28. I read another post here about possible reasons why late virgins are well... late virgins.
I was probably category 1) Highly introvert/shy.
I mean I'm generally nice without being a sissi, I'm not a scumbag and lots of girls say I'm quite good looking. Not Mr.Universe but good looking. Not fat, nor skinny. So basically, I'm kinda an average Joe.
Yet at 28 years of age, I had still not touched a woman in my life. Nor had I been with one, nor had I kissed one. But I lacked a lot of self-esteem and self-confidence (and I probably still do now). Being a virgin started to really make me feel sad. I felt like an outcast, like a loser and like someone whom nobody wanted. It makes you doubt about yourself.
My little brother, who is now 15, had his first girlfriend last year a few months before I met mine. While this probably didn't go any further than holding hands and kissing, the kid was more advanced than me in that matter and I knew it was just a matter of time before he'd become sexually active while I was still virgin. And I was double his age. I was happy for him: I mean after all he's having anormal puberty process.
But words do not describe the how terrible I felt in that situation.
I don't think any of the non-virgins who basically had a normal sexual development can imagine how that feels. Can you imagine how friggin horrible I felt then? Damn, the amount of emotional distress this situation causes... it's emotionally devastating.
Anyway, I had subscribed myself to a dating website prior to that and the miracle came: I met a girl. I was 28, so was she. And yeah, with her it finally happened: we humped, I lost my virginity (she knew I was one, told her).
But I was a fool. I realized damn well afterwards that I actually wasn't in love of her. I thought I was back then, but I quickly realized I wasn't. I'm gonna admit it: I now realize I went in a relationship with her because I wanted to lose my virginity. Purely that. I wasn't looking for anything serious. I just wanted to get that burden off my shoulders. We stayed together a few months then I broke up. I basically realised I'm not ready for a relationship. How ironic huh?
Today I realize I'm a lone wolf: I can't live without my friends and I love my family. Both are sacred for me. But when it comes to relationships, I'm a lone wolf. I would be unhappy if I was in a serious relationship now. I'm just too much of a lone wolf for that (I got that from my mother: she's like that too)
I don't feel proud about this relationship I had. I kinda feel like I used her to get rid of my virginity. Should I feel guilty? Did I really use her?
Now I'm in an annoying situation: I don't want any relationship, I'm happy as single and I don't want a girlfriend. That might change later. Maybe soon, maybe never but right now I don't need a relationship.
But I still have the human physical need to have sex sometimes. Without the strings. Just purely for the physical need. I suppose it's human ye? So what now huh? Round up a girl and have some casual sex? What? They think it's as easy as going to the store and buy a goddamn apple? I wish it was that easy!
Find a sexbuddy? Ahahah! Man... if it was that easy for me to get laid, I'd be having plenty of it right now. I'm just not that kinda guy to easily seduce girls.
But there is one thing I wonder: there are so many people who seem to have sex so easily. Some are married, yet still they find manage to cheat on their wife. Or people who manage to round up several girls in a month. Just like that. As if they're ordering a friggin' pizza.
How come I seem to have so much trouble? How come I only got a girl at 28 years of age? How come I can't get any "special" friends for sex without the strings?
I'm also not the kind of guy who's gonna lie to a girl, saying I love her, promising her the moon just so I can bang her and dump her afterwards with the words "thanks for the sex, bye bye now lololol!". I respect women too much for that to tell such lies.
Many people are just able to get sex or relationships so damn easily. And look at how easily it's been for me NOT to have that happen. Year after year. It really demoralizes me. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.
I felt like getting this off my chest. Thanks for listening to me
What I'm about to tell you might sound a little cold or crude to some so pardon me if I offend you but here goes (dont worry it doesn't contain anything gross or something
).I'm 29 years old. I basically had never touched a woman before I was 28. I read another post here about possible reasons why late virgins are well... late virgins.
I was probably category 1) Highly introvert/shy.
I mean I'm generally nice without being a sissi, I'm not a scumbag and lots of girls say I'm quite good looking. Not Mr.Universe but good looking. Not fat, nor skinny. So basically, I'm kinda an average Joe.
Yet at 28 years of age, I had still not touched a woman in my life. Nor had I been with one, nor had I kissed one. But I lacked a lot of self-esteem and self-confidence (and I probably still do now). Being a virgin started to really make me feel sad. I felt like an outcast, like a loser and like someone whom nobody wanted. It makes you doubt about yourself.
My little brother, who is now 15, had his first girlfriend last year a few months before I met mine. While this probably didn't go any further than holding hands and kissing, the kid was more advanced than me in that matter and I knew it was just a matter of time before he'd become sexually active while I was still virgin. And I was double his age. I was happy for him: I mean after all he's having anormal puberty process.
But words do not describe the how terrible I felt in that situation.
I don't think any of the non-virgins who basically had a normal sexual development can imagine how that feels. Can you imagine how friggin horrible I felt then? Damn, the amount of emotional distress this situation causes... it's emotionally devastating.
Anyway, I had subscribed myself to a dating website prior to that and the miracle came: I met a girl. I was 28, so was she. And yeah, with her it finally happened: we humped, I lost my virginity (she knew I was one, told her).
But I was a fool. I realized damn well afterwards that I actually wasn't in love of her. I thought I was back then, but I quickly realized I wasn't. I'm gonna admit it: I now realize I went in a relationship with her because I wanted to lose my virginity. Purely that. I wasn't looking for anything serious. I just wanted to get that burden off my shoulders. We stayed together a few months then I broke up. I basically realised I'm not ready for a relationship. How ironic huh?
Today I realize I'm a lone wolf: I can't live without my friends and I love my family. Both are sacred for me. But when it comes to relationships, I'm a lone wolf. I would be unhappy if I was in a serious relationship now. I'm just too much of a lone wolf for that (I got that from my mother: she's like that too)
I don't feel proud about this relationship I had. I kinda feel like I used her to get rid of my virginity. Should I feel guilty? Did I really use her?
Now I'm in an annoying situation: I don't want any relationship, I'm happy as single and I don't want a girlfriend. That might change later. Maybe soon, maybe never but right now I don't need a relationship.
But I still have the human physical need to have sex sometimes. Without the strings. Just purely for the physical need. I suppose it's human ye? So what now huh? Round up a girl and have some casual sex? What? They think it's as easy as going to the store and buy a goddamn apple? I wish it was that easy!
Find a sexbuddy? Ahahah! Man... if it was that easy for me to get laid, I'd be having plenty of it right now. I'm just not that kinda guy to easily seduce girls.
But there is one thing I wonder: there are so many people who seem to have sex so easily. Some are married, yet still they find manage to cheat on their wife. Or people who manage to round up several girls in a month. Just like that. As if they're ordering a friggin' pizza.
How come I seem to have so much trouble? How come I only got a girl at 28 years of age? How come I can't get any "special" friends for sex without the strings?
I'm also not the kind of guy who's gonna lie to a girl, saying I love her, promising her the moon just so I can bang her and dump her afterwards with the words "thanks for the sex, bye bye now lololol!". I respect women too much for that to tell such lies.
Many people are just able to get sex or relationships so damn easily. And look at how easily it's been for me NOT to have that happen. Year after year. It really demoralizes me. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.
I felt like getting this off my chest. Thanks for listening to me
