Last night I realized something

[oscarxp25]

My guy friends, who consist of 6 of us were all in the bar last night. One of my guy friends is a cheesy guy but all the girls love him. The rest of us are kind of beta-males. I just saw all the traits come alive with us, it kind of pissed me off. I am not a virgin, I have had relationships. What I did in those relationships is put up a front of being an *******, which I am not. It felt fake and that is why those relationships did not last long. When it did come to girls I liked, and wanted to show my real side to, I back out or got scared. People know me as a good guy, who is fun to be around and always listens when they are in trouble. I hide that from girls because when I was growing up, all the *******s got the girls while I listened to them. I am 23 and want a relationship that is real, not fake like the ones I have been in. There is this girl Meredith that I am kind of attracted to but she knows me as the shy kid (I have only been around her 4 times) I think if all of sudden become outgoing she will think it is fake. I also want to help all my friends because without that one friend around we struggle, even though sometimes we get the girls. I have learned to become so withdrawn because of my fear, girls think I am weird or an *******, I can feel it. This is my only fault in life, it has always been. I want to get Meredith or any future girl or at least go down with a good fight.

Thanks for reading...comments are welcome.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

You said that you are a nice guy that listens, and is fun to be around. Why not use those traits around women? No one here can honestly tell you how to be successful with women, so use the gifts that you have, and develop new ones.

 

[vp171s]

SELF-MASTERY is right, it's all about working your game. Realising what works and what doesn't. This forum can provide you guide lines but nothing that will work 100% of the time. Try, fail, learn, improve.

Goodluck.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

It all comes down to knowing what you are worth...

Sadly to say most of the guys here aren't worth shyt.

 

[Delta]

but you may be exhibiting personality traits that are anathema to women.

identify those things... you might think change for these things may be impossible or your internal psyche may resist change but get rid of them.

SHYNESS is not good. you can have it as a VENEER but it can't be a part of your core as a man. i'm shy too and i (we) must fight it.

i'm sure you have lots of great qualities. so as everyone says accentuate those things.

but get rid of the traits women don't like. and oh yeah, start a quest right now to try to figure out what kinds of things women like and dislike. worth it.

luck

delta

 

[Ace of Flames]

Don't be an *******, be charming. Both will get you girls, but the charming route is much better for you AND her. It won't come fast or easy, and you'll have to work on it, but once you develop some charm, you'll find that you attract women without that "fake" feeling.

So what is charm, and how to get it? Charm is wit, charm is subtlety. Its about having no doubts in yourself and just enjoying being around women. You flirt because its fun, not to impress a woman. All you want from a woman is to hear her laugh, to enjoy herself. You don't need these women, but you'll be glad to have them.

That's a simple definition, but still. So how to be charming? You need to stop saying "I want a relationship, I want a girl." Focus on yourself right now. Obviously, if you got thrown into a relationship as you are right now, it wouldn't last, as you've already said. You'd either have to put on that fake front to stretch it out, or try and work with what you have and end up boring her. What you have already is important, of course, but just isn't enough. You have to add to what you have now and round out your personality. A little charm will help.

Read around here and take in what you like. Work out your fear or whatever is keeping you from approaching women constantly. Build up your confidence and self-esteem. Learn better ways to communicate, like c+f. Develop your wit and sense of humor. Getting in better shape is always a plus. Try and help out your friends as well.

Consider this a to-do list. Now take each problem one at a time and work to make it better. If you go for it all at once, you'll be overwhelmed and never improve. Feel free to post here with any questions, stories, thoughts, theories, or successes you may have. This is, for the most part, a very supportive community, so you're sure to get help and encouragement with whatever you need.

Good luck, and remember: No worries!